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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Spriggy on February 25, 2005, at 17:11:54
All my life I've heard people talk about "anxiety." I occasionally felt "anxious", like just before a speech or when one of my kids woke me up puking in the middle of the night.Nothing I couldn't tolerate.
And of course, I've had the occasional panic attack. They aren't fun but they subside and i've learned what they are and how to go just go through them, etc..
and yes, I had that horrible akathasia crap with Lexapro/Wellbutrin/Compazine.
I'm off all those meds now for 3 weeks. I am taking .25 Klonopin in the morning and evening.
But I have this jittery feeling in the pit of my gut that does not go away. It is hard to describe. Almost like I'm tense in my gut and it's bouncing around.
IS THIS POSSIBLY JUST ANXIETY?
If it's just "anxiety" than I will try to tolerate and live with this- I will conclude that I am not insane and hopefully in time it will pass.
It is not 24/7 but like right now, I've had it in my gut for about 3 hours non stop. I pray, I read, I walk the treadmill, I try to distract my brain from thinking of it, but here I am wondering what the heck this is.
Somebody just put me into a drug induced coma until they can figure me out..
I keep thinking of how just a few months ago, I was actually "normal." Imagine??? Normal.
Posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2005, at 18:02:46
In reply to is this anxiety? what the heck..., posted by Spriggy on February 25, 2005, at 17:11:54
Do you think it's withdrawal? Fondly,Phillipa
Posted by calamityjane on February 25, 2005, at 18:05:16
In reply to is this anxiety? what the heck..., posted by Spriggy on February 25, 2005, at 17:11:54
Spiggy
I havent been on this board very long, and I havent had the chance to read many of your posts. Did you have a traumatic experience recently in your life? If so, then I think you definitely could be experiencing anxiety.
I had my first panic attack when I was 17, and prior to that initial attack I had the same gut feeling you are describing...kind of like a sense of dread, or doom. It happened every day and I couldnt make it go away.
Several years later I was reading an article that said anxiety is usually brought out by some tramatic event. Finally I understood what I had gone through. The year I was 17 my beloved grandmother died, and I discovered that my dad had killed himself (I had always thought it was a heart attack). Kind of a lot for a 17 year old to handle on her own. Not only that I was a junior in high school and had an abusive boyfriend.
Soooooo,
does any of that sound similar to your personal life experiences? If so, tell your doc, because it might get worse and it would be a great thing to identify and take care of it before it gets out of control.
PS....if you feel like it, could you update me with a little of your "story". Ashley
Posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2005, at 18:17:03
In reply to Re: is this anxiety? what the heck..., posted by calamityjane on February 25, 2005, at 18:05:16
I never associated it, but my Mother died when I was l7. I started drinking, but when I was 22 I experienced my first Panic attack. Been on benzos ever since. I wonder if this triggered it. I was always a nervous child, and my Mother was always sick and blamed me. Maybe I wouldn't have as many problems as I do today if I was tx'd then. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Spriggy on February 25, 2005, at 18:57:25
In reply to Re: is this anxiety? what the heck... » calamityjane, posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2005, at 18:17:03
Well, I live in what one would call a "constant" state of stressors.
I have a severely autistic 9 year old son- I bathe him, change his diapers, feed him, etc.. I love my son from the depths of my very being and would gladly take a bullet for him in a heartbeat, but there are days it is very hard for me. It's hard to watch him struggle so much just to make a 3 word sentence. It's getting more difficult for me physically because he is growing so fast and I'm a petite woman. I fear how I will be able to bathe and change him once he's outgrown me (which will be soon the way he eats!).
My father (who is in Alabama.. 2,000 miles from me) has also recently been given 3-6 months left to live and is receiving Hospice care. He is dying a very slow, painful death and I imagine some of what I'm dealing with is "grief." I can't be there with him to be a part of the process of saying "goodbye" like I would like to be. That is hard for me.
My husband is a pastor and there are always the stressors (along with many blessings) of being a wife of a pastor. I'm not complaining, I know this is without a doubt God's purpose on this earth for me (being a pastor's wife) but there is a lot of stress that comes a long with this ministry.
So yes, I would say there are things that would be causing stress. But I have so many blessings as well.I have a husband that would capture the moon for me if I asked him to. I have another beautiful 5 year old son that lights up my life.
I can't figure out why I can't get out of this "funk." In many ways, I feel a failure in my faith. I say I trust God in all things, and yet I am finding myself wondering why He won't deliver me from this pain.
I'm not being a great wife and mom right now. I am doing my best but some days lately, just taking a shower and putting my socks on the right foot is all I can accomplish.
This is hard for me. Prior to this, I juggled all things pretty well in life. I ran 3-4 miles a day, was up and ready for the day to begin, would spend much time in prayer and with God, enjoying cooking, cleaning, caring for my family.
Right now all that is gone.
All that is left is this empty feeling that life is without meaning (which I know is a lie). The medication did nothing but make things 1000 times worse so attempting another antidepressent terrifies me.
I don't know if this is just anxiety or just depression or both. I'm new to all this and I sure hate it.
I just really want to be myself again. I miss me.
And I can't even believe I just bore my soul to Lord knows who..
See what I mean??
Just not normal.
Posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2005, at 20:01:47
In reply to Re: is this anxiety? what the heck... » calamityjane, posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2005, at 18:17:03
You have a lot to deal with, even with a strong faith. You need someone to talk with who can help you sort through your very real problems. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by HappyGirl on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:11
In reply to is this anxiety? what the heck..., posted by Spriggy on February 25, 2005, at 17:11:54
Hi Spriggy:
Sorry to read your current situation, ... too many things to deal with. However, M.I., like any other 'illnesses' takes awhile to find a right med. along with a good therapy, such as 'talk therapy.' Then, to be honest and frank, ... you may need a patience and 'good' knowledge about 'how to deal with M.I. in general.' Because, just within one or two weeks after being on the meds., it's too quick to make any 'conclusion,' such as the med. you've been on REALLY working on you.It's truly hard for anyone to go through this, ... however on the otherhand, you may need to know a 'true' nature of M.I. that does NOT go away so quick. Takes some time to feel even relieved by the med., not to mention, get better.
In my case, ... unfortunately, at the beginning of dx with Bp II, I was literally most of days, staying in the bed due to Bipolar Depression, or else, ... even, a depression caused by Bp dx itself, which I honestly remember now. It took SO many months, that went into years, even with a good pdoc. who rx'd a good med. combo. suitable to my system/dx. I am a NON-Med. sensitive M.I., only SSRI sensitive tho', that'a all about, but still it took SO long to feel better.
That said, ... in your case, it seems not only some mental illness, also psysical problem/CNS sensitivity that might have contributed to your current dilemna. Normally, med. sensitive M.I.s have more difficult time to find a right med. due to more research and 'extra' cautiouseness for the pdoc. to rx. med./med. combo.
In my suggestion, ... if you could find some 'help' due to the circumstances, it would be a great help for you, rather to deal with this, all by yourself. Because, M.I., like any other 'serious' illnesses, 'Rest,' both mentally and physically is a 'must.' Otherwise, your condition not get improved the way you want and expect.. Since you are minister's wife, someone nice in your church might be able to offer a good hands to you.
Also, besides the med., 'talk therapy' through a psychologist or psycho. therapist might be a quite beneficial to you.In my suggestion, ... even though you sound like a 'strong-willed' with 'good social skilled' individual, but try to get a help as much as possible, either through the church or relative you can count on.
H.G.
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