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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 7:46:20
After spending time discussing this with my psychiatrist, we have come to the conclusion that obsessional thinking is at the root of most of my problems. Basically, I can be happy at times if I'm in a pleasant situation, but my inner dialogue starts to overwhelm me and I begin to get anxious. For instance, let's say I'm watching the National Championship game. For a little while, I'll be perfectly content. Then, thoughts inevitably creep up. What do I have to read for classes? How will I finish the paper I'm working on? What should I have for breakfast? I can't even describe how much it sucks.
I have anxiety over miniscule things. I worry about replacing the toothbrush head on my Sonicare brush. Unbeliavably ridiculous.
When my psychiatrist asked me if I could trace this behavior to any time in my childhood, I told him I'd always been like this but it was never so serious. I can remember being like 8 or 9 years old and having ritualistic (i.e., OCD) tendencies: I would have to leave the house for school at the same time (to the minute) every morning. When I got a little older, say, 12 or 13, I had to go to bed at the same time every night, go to the bathroom at the same time, repeating the time on the clock out loud 3 times before getting up: your basic OCD behavior. Since high school, all the ritualistic stuff stopped and I just have obsessional thoughts about everything, procrastination amplified by ten. Psychotherapy is helping very little.
Posted by Scott in Vermont on April 7, 2004, at 9:41:32
In reply to Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 7:46:20
I've experienced the same thing (happy during good times, borderline obsessive during stress) and this became overwhelming about 6 months ago for specific due cause.
My reaction to adversity is to look to myself and attempt to find my own solutions. Here are some things that worked well for me when I was in "crisis management" mode:
I created and maintained a daily log for myself that I could go back on. It contains dates, times, and information pertinent to that day. I still update it daily, and it takes me about 5 minutes a day.
I created "do lists", a "weekly overview" and a detailed "daily do". Since I have started this, I have not missed an appointment, bill, or overextended my schedule.
I have created a chart that tracks all of my foodstuffs and other material items (such as toothpaste, light bulbs, etc). This way I have an accurate count of all things, can budget accordingly, and it takes the worrisome guesswork out of shopping. Additionally, I never run out of anything anymore.
The overall effect this has had is providing a peace of mind. Now when I "worry" about something, it is a legitimate and definite worry (such as I have $100 left and I have $130 in bills due). But even then, the solution is close at hand, because I know exactly how much I'm getting in my next paycheck and what I can and cannot float to another pay period.
I can only say that this worked for me. Everyone has different ways of coping. I could guess that tracking things may well become a worry in itself for you (such as, laying awake wondering if you missed something that should be on your list... I'm not making fun, I have done it myself) but for me, even though I did miss a few minor things, they fit in later and were not things that stopped me in my tracks. Having the list has helped me find a small measure of peace in a time of nearly untenable chaos.
I hope this gives you something to think about, if nothing else.
Posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 11:27:19
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Scott in Vermont on April 7, 2004, at 9:41:32
Yes, those are all good ideas. I've started to implement lists and calendars but I still obsess almost non-stop. I think I'm going to look into CBT. I know a therapist who's supposed to be pretty good with dealing with OCD. I hope he's accepting new patients.
Thanks, Scott.
Posted by theo on April 7, 2004, at 12:44:26
In reply to Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 7:46:20
What meds do you take?
Posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 14:44:55
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate? » Civ, posted by theo on April 7, 2004, at 12:44:26
> What meds do you take?
For the moment, none.
In the past, I have been on Paxil 20 mg (felt great on that for about a year) and Paxil CR 25 mg (didn't feel as good).
My pdoc wants to try Effexor or Lexapro or possibly Lamictal. I'm not really sure which course we're going to take. Sometimes, I feel like we're not on the same page and we haven't accomplished anything in the last 8+ months of visits.
Posted by btnd on April 7, 2004, at 17:54:15
In reply to Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 7:46:20
Yeah I can totally relate to what you just wrote.
Well, for me, the meds that worked were:
1. Amisulpride 50mg/day - the BEST med for OCD/anxiety (anticipatory/social/general)
2. Klonopin 2mg
3. GHB(Xyrem) re-dosed throughout the day
4. Adderall (well, it made me more energetic/motivated, rather than less OCD, but still - the OCD part was much lower)
5. Ultram 200mgTake care.
Posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 18:26:42
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate? » Civ, posted by btnd on April 7, 2004, at 17:54:15
Wow, your pdoc must be very open to experimentation. How long did it take you to settle on this regimen?
Posted by btnd on April 7, 2004, at 18:42:10
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate? » btnd, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 18:26:42
> Wow, your pdoc must be very open to experimentation. How long did it take you to settle on this regimen?
Well, to tell you the truth - my pdoc only Rx'ed me: Amisulpride, Adderall and Klonopin. GHB(Xyrem) and Ultram I used as a self-medication :-)
Hmm how long? Well, I've been using Klonopin from Jan 03 till August 03. Then I started using Amisulpride and it worked till christmas (and i need to mention that it worked TREMENDOUSLY WELL). Then stopped working. Then I experimented a little with GHB(Xyrem) and Ultram - and my current regime is this:
1.Klonopin 2mg
2.Adderall 40mg
3.GHB(Xyrem) every 3hrs
4.Amisulpride 50mg (I'm still hopeing that it'll kick in once again)Since I dont want to develop tolerance to GHB - I stop its usage for a day or two - on those days I use Ultram 200mg.
Posted by snapper on April 7, 2004, at 21:04:02
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 14:44:55
> > What meds do you take?
>
> For the moment, none.
>
> In the past, I have been on Paxil 20 mg (felt great on that for about a year) and Paxil CR 25 mg (didn't feel as good).
>
> My pdoc wants to try Effexor or Lexapro or possibly Lamictal. I'm not really sure which course we're going to take. Sometimes, I feel like we're not on the same page and we haven't accomplished anything in the last 8+ months of visits.
> Sometimes, I feel like we're not on the same page and we haven't accomplished anything in the last 8+ months of visits.I know exactly how you feel! Except My pdoc and I seem to have been going on like this for like 18-20 months, I wish I had the luxury of going to another pdoc. It is like I know how bad I feel every single day and then I go in and see him and he sees me in what I think he percieves me to be as functioning at a good level- just because my "mood and mannerisms" come across as feeling better than I really do.ie: I don't go in to his office all slouched over-sad, and totally hopeless
*looking* I'm sure he knows that depression can present itself in many ways but I am just not sure he gets how miserable I am!
snapper
Posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 21:27:22
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by snapper on April 7, 2004, at 21:04:02
I know that feeling too. For instance, when I was in a really bad state last week my doc said:
"I would never think you were so anxious by looking at you sitting here today."
My response was that I'm very good at hiding my troubles. Been doing it for quite some time now.
I think you just have to tell your doc how bad you're feeling. Be straight with him. I'm hoping in my case that we will start to make some progress now that I'm opening up more.
Posted by utopizen on April 10, 2004, at 23:57:21
In reply to Re: Obsessional Thinking: Can anyone relate?, posted by Civ on April 7, 2004, at 14:44:55
I have to say if I followed the approach of doing a daily log and calendar, it'd be unlikely that would help my own obsessional thinking problem-- usually I tend to think solutions like that will help me someway, and then obsess over making the daily log, calendar, writing long to-do lists, etc.-- I have the ADD+obsessional thinking combo, not good.
I get CBT for social anxiety and ADD, and now I'm thinking I have pretty bad depression, and have concluded I also have obsessional thinking. I never suspected it before, but it all seems so clear to me now.
I'll often times ruminate over ideas, even think of how I may say something in the future as I daydream, and repeat the same thought in a sort of futile effort of trying to "revise" the thought so it sounds slightly better each time.
It's not bad for me, because it seems to work out as an English major who often puts off his work, b/c doing all-nighters seems to mesh well with obsessing over the same paper topic for 8 solid hours.
But it gets annoying when you have to worry about calling up companies to replace broken products, returning them, and making such mundane problems your distractions from actual prioties on your agenda (e.g., getting a paper worked on so you don't actually have to resort to doing an all-nighter once again for the 60th time in your college career).
I've convinced myself, as a procrastinating ADDer, recently, to say this to myself:
"look, you have been putting off seeing your professor from last semester for months now to change a grade that you should have changed by now, this is the root of your depression right now, you worry about it daily, and you think worrying about how you're going to return this stupid hygiene device will help you have a better life 2 weeks from now when you'll have to cope with the prospect of failing out of school? It can wait."
That guy calling my voicemail asking him to return his message so he can get some stupid info from me I don't actually care about resolving today? It can wait. The stupid thoughts in my head that try to distract me from finishing papers so I can actually seeing my professor and change my incomplete-turned-F to a real grade? They can wait. My worries over what drug I should try for my depression, which is a result of such obsessions? They can wait.
This is the end of the thread.
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