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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by blever on March 31, 2004, at 12:15:11
my pdoc gave me 2 week samples of depakote, 500 mg,to bring an end to this horrible horrible mixed depressive/manic state i was in. after two days, my manic energy was totally depleted. but the problem - ALL of my energy was, i am in a perpetual state of sleepwalking. i took the depakote for 6 days, and have been off it for a week and a half, but no improvement. i am also on paxil cr, which, after taking it last december and basking in euphoric manic glory for 8 weeks straight, no longer seems to have any effect on my mood.
and now...everything takes too much effort. lack of motivation. lack of emotion, even sadness. and empathy? what was THAT, i ask now. every muscle on my body aches, and i feel like my head is encased in a 500 pound metal helmet. i cant think. about anything. i find myself staring at the wall, the carpet, or this blinking cursor, for hours on end. thinking about nothing at all. i'm SO TIRED, but i cant sleep. and i dont know what to do.
i feel so isolated. i dont expect anyone in my life to understand. my sister just called me a "mean, cynnical, lazy bitch" thanks, i said, in mono tone. it also takes too much energy to reciprocate anyone's well-meant sentiments, or even fake a smile.
this is not living, im sure of it. i'd rather not BE, than be a zombie.
but, then in the back of my mind, i know this will pass. it always does. i AM bipolar, and that is the NATURE of this fuckedup evil illness. but KNOWING this is not a comfort right now.
i have an appointment with my pdoc later this week.i guess i dont have a specific question, i just needed to disbarge some frusteration and self-loathe. sorry for that, but thanks for listening.
but PLEASE reply if any of you can relate, or would like to share anything simmilar, or have any suggestions. i'd reeealy appriciate it.
-blever
Posted by waterfall on March 31, 2004, at 20:24:34
In reply to DEPAKOTE making me more depressed..., posted by blever on March 31, 2004, at 12:15:11
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. Hang in there! Finding the right meds is never easy.
Posted by SLS on March 31, 2004, at 20:49:15
In reply to DEPAKOTE making me more depressed..., posted by blever on March 31, 2004, at 12:15:11
Hi Blever.
It sounds like you're have a rough time right now. Depakote and I aren't exactly good friends either. It is not uncommon to see it worsen depression. It can even cause depression in some epileptics whom had never had a problem with it before. Of course, it works just fine for some people and can be the ideal drug. Sometimes it just comes down to trial and error. The odds are in your favor that you and your doctor will find something that works.
Hang in there. You are not alone.
- Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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