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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:29:21
In reply to re: Any BPD screening tests online? :-, posted by 360 on February 19, 2004, at 19:06:31
Here's one for you: It's managed by the National Institute of Mental Health, a division of the NIH.
They have a good website on depression, and here's a specific link on it related particularly to BPD.http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolarmenu.cfm
Once you're at the site, click on the second link under For the Public. It will take you to a brochure about BPD, and includes a diagnostic which is probably as accurate an online quiz as you're likely to find on the internet.
Good luck,
Journeyman
Posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:47:27
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by mrs c on February 16, 2004, at 14:38:14
Mrs. C,
You're doing a good job of keeping tabs on your feelings. It's much better to have anxiety and to be aware of it, than not to be tuned in.
There's a book I've been reading which I wonder whether you might not find some comfort in. It's by Tara Brach and it's entitled, "Radical Acceptance." I've found her suggestions about dealing with feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, etc. to be gentle, wise, and effective. Perhaps you will too.
Keep in mind that you're already all right. It's not as though when you shake the depression that you'll suddenly be okay. You're already someone who's okay, who happens to have depression.
May comfort and peace be frequent companions of yours.
Journeyman
Posted by sexylexy on February 19, 2004, at 20:50:43
In reply to For Mrs C, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:47:27
Mrs. C
I hope your doing ok. Know your on my mind and in my prayers!!
Lexy
Posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works » Journeyman, posted by LynneDa on February 16, 2004, at 17:18:16
Lynne:
Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
Journeyman
Posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:51:48
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by KathrynLex on February 16, 2004, at 17:11:25
Hi K:
Just a quick not to thank you for your response and to congratulate you on the continual progress you're making.
There's such an important mind-body connection between eating well, exercising, and ones mental health that it really can't be overstated.
Thanks too for the encouragement and support you offer on this board. There are strong voices that reach out and yours is certainly one of them.
Keep us up-to-date on the 5K; it's just as relevant to your overall health as how many mg. of Lexapro you're taking.
Continued perseverance and health to you,
Journeyman
Posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
In reply to Re: Anyone switched to Lexapro? « ggrrl, posted by hope2003 on February 7, 2003, at 16:12:49
I have been on lexapro for a little over a year. I dont post as much as I used to but still read the posts time to time. I post on a lot on other boards though. I am still doing very good. Havent had a panic attack in over a year. Depression is completely gone. I only get minor anxiety every now and then. I think its just normal anxiety that anyone would get. But I am just more aware of it because of what I went through. Not bad for a person who a year ago was suicidal, housebound, afraid to be alone, spent 3 months in the ER, didnt drive for 6 months, couldnt eat, had tremors and was shaking so bad people thought I had a muscle disease. Thats just a small bit of what I went through. I dont take xanax during the day anymore. As far as quitting the lexapro???? Seems kind of stupid to quit something that gave me my life back and gives me zero side effects. So I shall take it till I die!!!!!!!!!! <:-)
WAYNE
Posted by sexylexy on February 20, 2004, at 6:57:47
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
ROCK ON WAYNE!
That is so wonderful for you. I am on 10mg, for what today is the start of week 9. I feel I am not out of the woods yet but doing better than I was. Thinking about increasing my doseage. When was it that you were like " Hey, Im pretty happy and doing pretty darn well!"
Thanks
Lexy
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 8:53:22
In reply to Re: Hello, from a novice Lex-er, posted by Samm on February 19, 2004, at 13:51:48
Having a supportive husband does help. I have only just recently been able to admit to my husband the extent of my illness. He just thought I was a worrier and never realized how extreme it became. He still thinks that I can control it though which of course we all know that I can't. I wish it was that simple. Bye for now. Mrs. C
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 8:58:49
In reply to Re: Hello, from a novice Lex-er, posted by KathrynLex on February 19, 2004, at 15:19:31
Hi K,
I'm not really feeling much better. I am still having self-doubts and anxious feelings. I feel fragile. I have not regressed to my former self before starting Lex but I have definetly backslided quite a bit. I will talk to my doc about increasing at my appointment on 3/3. I also plan to ask her for the name of a therapist. Thanks for checking on me! You sound like the increase from 10mg to 15mgs has been good for you. I think that is what I will ask for too. Bye for now. Mrs. C
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:00:17
In reply to Re: Feeling Flat on Lexapro, posted by tmhwrite on February 19, 2004, at 15:47:10
I felt that flat feeling too! It passes! You're almost there. Mrs. C
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:04:04
In reply to to all novice lex-er, posted by sexylexy on February 19, 2004, at 16:24:46
Lexy, So good to hear your post. You're sounding much better. I have to admit that I was a little worried about you. I think that I will be increasing too! 10mgs just isn't working it's best for me anymore. Now that I know how good I can feel I don't want to go back to that scary place. Thanks for all of your support and honesty. Mrs C.
Posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:06:25
In reply to For Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
Thank you for your thoughtful insight. This is the second post from you just today that made me say, "Wow!" Boy, do I ever appreciate hearing you say these things "out loud."
> Lynne:
>
> Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
>
> As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
>
> Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
>
> You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
>
> May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
>
> Journeyman
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:09:09
In reply to For Mrs C, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:47:27
Thanks Richard, I will look for that book. I am in school presently taking psychology and am learning a great deal but this board is a wealth of support and information for me. Mrs. C.
Posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:11:30
In reply to Re: to all novice lex-er, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:04:04
You people are all wonderful. The messages you post are real and revealing, sharing and open, thoughtful and informative. All of you are a gift to me. You have my thanks, my prayers and my love.
Vandy
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:17:54
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
Wayne, Thanks so much for your encouraging post! I am so happy for you that you have gotten your life back. Funny how we all appreciate happiness so much more when we have experienced that dark side. Maybe we should consider ourselves lucky. There are many people out there who go their whole lives searching for happiness when it's always been there!
I have a question for you. In your post you described "shaking" as a prior symptom. Could you please go into that further with me. I also experienced that before starting Lexapro and it still bothers me that I may have something wrong with my nervouse system. Any thoughts? By the way, taking Lexapro has caused some jitteriness with me but it has become very transient. I only worry about the feeling before starting Lex. Is it a symptom of anxiety? Sorry for being so long winded but I am so glad to hear of another person describe that feeling that I had to jump on it. Mrs. C
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:21:02
In reply to Did remember to say I love you?, posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:11:30
I ditto Vandy! I have been thinking that too this morning but was afraid to sound "weird". Thanks for expressing it Vandy and I feel the same way. The people on this board are like a family to me and I want you all to know how much you mean to me. Thanks! Mrs. C
P.S. Lord, that was mushy!
Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 9:32:39
In reply to For Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
Journeyman -
What a perfect name for you! I appreciate your kind & inspiring words. I really like the idea of inviting your "dark deities" in for a conversation and trying to learn from them! I enjoy that kind of self-analysis and will put that on my to-do list for my therapy time.It is so true that depression evolved over a long time and the solution(s) may take just as long, if not longer, to make themselves known. Thanks for that reminder!
I have a perfectionist/pleasing streak - being the first-born daughter and having an emotionally-distant father with very high expectations (who changed considerably over the years, thank goodness, allowing us both some measure of healing). Trying to accept my inability to do everything right, keep everyone happy and control all outcomes is the biggest struggle of my adult life. Slowly but surely I'm getting over that need!
Take care and have a wonderful weekend!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Lynne:
>
> Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
>
> As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
>
> Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
>
> You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
>
> May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
>
> Journeyman
Posted by Jayslace on February 20, 2004, at 9:35:07
In reply to Re: Did remember to say I love you?, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:21:02
I have to say thank you, too, Vandy. I have posted in quite awhile, mostly because I have been going through the winter blues. I had a very bad day last Friday. 3 hours of crying. I had to call my psychologist to help me get out of it. I didn't want to take a Xanax. She talked to me for about 15 minutes, then we realized my favorite show (Columbo) had just come on. I was to open up a can of Coke, sit down and watch that show. In the mean time she would call me back in an hour.
While watching the show, I mended 3 items that needed done. I thought of nothing that made me cry. What I was previously crying about was remembering my brain tumors (back in 2001) and what all I have lost(memories, loss of driving, etc.) Lex helps me 99% of the time. But having something so tragic as those tumors and the 5 min death of the pulmonary embolism, my docs say it's always bound to make me upset at times. Understandable.
But this site, and all of you guys make me feel so good. Just sitting back and reading all the good things and seeing newcomers , it's just so good. I'm also on Klonipin now for sleep. I take it at 7:30 pm, By 11pm, I'm ready for sleep, and by morning it's out of my system enough I'm not groggy. The Ambien just wasn't working for me anymore.
And right now? I'm getting ready to take a shower and go out to lunch with some of my gal friends! Yep, I'm getting out of the house!! So, I'm feeling better , and I love this feeling. It's 50 degrees, rainy, but you all bring the sun to me.
Love, health and friendship,
Ruthie
Posted by Samm on February 20, 2004, at 10:22:10
In reply to Re: Feeling Flat on Lexapro, posted by tmhwrite on February 19, 2004, at 15:47:10
In response to feeling "flat", I went to see my doctor this week and he said the main thing he is trying to avoid is giving me a dosage of Lex that will make me feel no emotion at all or "flat". (Just to remind you, I'm the new member of the "Lex club" and taking it for my anxiety and panic attacks). Anyway, he told me that too much "Lex" can often do it. Just something to keep observing I guess.
I haven't hit the magic numbers yet of when the Lex will start taking full effect, but I have a question for everyone...are headaches a common side effect? I've been having SO MANY headaches lately. I really like what I've heard about the Lex so far, so I don't want to stop taking it. Has anybody else had this problem and does it go away?
Thanks!
Sam
Posted by Samm on February 20, 2004, at 10:34:22
In reply to to all novice lex-er, posted by sexylexy on February 19, 2004, at 16:24:46
Thanks for your encouragement, Lexy. And, no need to apologize--you need a place to vent and what better place than here, to people who can understand what you're going through and offer support and encouraging words. :)
Posted by linnie on February 20, 2004, at 11:05:07
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
>I am relatively new to lex. I am glad you are doing so well.That's encouraging. How long was it before you began to feel better? How much lex are you taking?
You mentioned other boards that sound like they are also helpful. WHat are they?linnie
I have been on lexapro for a little over a year. I dont post as much as I used to but still read the posts time to time. I post on a lot on other boards though. I am still doing very good. Havent had a panic attack in over a year. Depression is completely gone. I only get minor anxiety every now and then. I think its just normal anxiety that anyone would get. But I am just more aware of it because of what I went through. Not bad for a person who a year ago was suicidal, housebound, afraid to be alone, spent 3 months in the ER, didnt drive for 6 months, couldnt eat, had tremors and was shaking so bad people thought I had a muscle disease. Thats just a small bit of what I went through. I dont take xanax during the day anymore. As far as quitting the lexapro???? Seems kind of stupid to quit something that gave me my life back and gives me zero side effects. So I shall take it till I die!!!!!!!!!! <:-)
> WAYNE
Posted by lil' jimi on February 20, 2004, at 12:24:37
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
hey wayne,
great to hear you're still doing good, man ...
i'm still good here ... and nearly a year too ...take care!!!
~ jimp.s. i'm yellowdogjim at the yahoo dot "calm" ..... (ha!)
..... email me anytime
Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 13:32:17
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
CONGRATS & WOW! It is really amazing how far you've come, when you summarize it like that. It gives me hope that this can work for a long period of time without having to make a change. It sounds like you are really enjoying your life and that's what it's all about, isn't it?!?!
~ Lynne
Posted by marfaith on February 20, 2004, at 13:34:06
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by mrs c on February 16, 2004, at 14:38:14
> Richard, So glad to hear that you are doing better. What a difference eleven weeks can make. You have been such a great supportive voice to me throughout my daily struggles and I hope you continue to visit this board!
>
> To everyone,
> I feel that my struggle is not yet over. Recently some of those old creepy feelings that things aren't right are coming back into my days. I can't really pin-point what is wrong, I just feel uneasy and worried. I may be at the point where I need to up my dosage a little bit. I have been at 10mg for 4 months now. Just these past few weeks the bad thoughts have been trying to come back more and more. This is so hard for me to admit but I know that I am safe with all of you. I'm so afraid that I will come to the point where I was in the beginning which was constantly dreading the day because of my fear of serious illness. Every little syptom I would have I would run to my medical book or the internet and obsess constantly about what illness I could have. Sleep was my only escape from my thoughts. Irrational, yes, totally, but so real to me when it takes over! I see my doc March 3rd and will wait until then to see if this passes or if I may need more help. I also plan to consult a therapist like so many of you do. I really believe that I need the extra help with my coping skills to try and change my way of dealing with these thoughts. Any advice that any of you can give will be so greatly appreciated. You all have been so comforting to me over these past months and I continue to rely on you. Bye for now. Mrs. CMrs C, I can totally understand what you are saying. When I was reading your post, it was like I was reading about me. It is hell to feel that way and all you do want to do is sleep. I started on Lex this past Tuesday. I am hoping it works as well for me as it has for others I know. I was on Remeron, but the 32 lb weight gain in three months was not good. Good luck to you. Marfaith
Posted by KathrynLex on February 20, 2004, at 13:46:47
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
Wayne,
Wow, what a fantastic success story! It's very inspiring and I'm very happy that you've found happiness again.
K.
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