Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 9:32:39
In reply to For Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
Journeyman -
What a perfect name for you! I appreciate your kind & inspiring words. I really like the idea of inviting your "dark deities" in for a conversation and trying to learn from them! I enjoy that kind of self-analysis and will put that on my to-do list for my therapy time.It is so true that depression evolved over a long time and the solution(s) may take just as long, if not longer, to make themselves known. Thanks for that reminder!
I have a perfectionist/pleasing streak - being the first-born daughter and having an emotionally-distant father with very high expectations (who changed considerably over the years, thank goodness, allowing us both some measure of healing). Trying to accept my inability to do everything right, keep everyone happy and control all outcomes is the biggest struggle of my adult life. Slowly but surely I'm getting over that need!
Take care and have a wonderful weekend!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Lynne:
>
> Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
>
> As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
>
> Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
>
> You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
>
> May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
>
> Journeyman
poster:LynneDa
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040218/msgs/316034.html