![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mysteryroad on June 5, 2003, at 7:49:53
Just reading the posts on Lexapro make me wanna cry..There are so many reported se's that I can't believe anybody would contemplate taking this stuff..I'm sitting here with a box that I'm supposed to start today, given to me by my pdoc with high regards.."try this one!"..Give me a break..
I've stopped my zoloft and lamictal recently and haven given up hope theres something out there that works..I think were all spinning our wheels looking for something that can't be fixed..Once again, depressing news to make for a more depressed world..
Posted by Felicity on June 5, 2003, at 8:30:51
In reply to Nightmare posts, posted by mysteryroad on June 5, 2003, at 7:49:53
If you go back about a week on the posts, you'll find that I was feeling the exact same as you seven days ago. I had just been handed samples of Lex and was terrified about the side effects to the point of not wanting to take them. But, I can honestly say that I have not had any major se's. The only thing that I've noticed is a major decrease in appetite (which I don't mind b/c I'm trying to lose weight). I had shakiness and headaches the first two days, but now I'm fine.
Don't let all the negatives talk you out of trying it. It may help. Unfortunately, you won't know how your body will react until you try it.
Good luck and keep me posted!!
~Felicity~
Posted by Kathii on June 5, 2003, at 14:37:13
In reply to Nightmare posts, posted by mysteryroad on June 5, 2003, at 7:49:53
Hi Mysteryroad,
Many of us have had some se's on Lexapro, but it seems overall that they have been less of a problem than those from other AD's.
Please consider giving Lex a try - you can always cut the dose the first few days (or first week) until you feel comfortable with it. I started with 2.5 - 5mg and gradually worked up to 10mg. I also take Wellbutrin - you may want to talk to your pdoc about augmenting your SSRI, some people need a combination for it to work.
Good luck - keep us posted on your progress.
Posted by mysteryroad on June 6, 2003, at 21:08:18
In reply to Re: Nightmare posts » mysteryroad, posted by Kathii on June 5, 2003, at 14:37:13
Thanks for the replies..I have yet to try Lex..And not sure If I will..I'm so tired of all the ad's and their sides..As like a lot of people, I've tried many with POOR results..
In the 14 yrs of suffering from depression, I've found that NO medication has helped anything significant..It's the same suffering with the hope that something will come along and make us better..No chance..Let's be truthful.
Basically, visiting my pdoc is like asking him for the flavor of the month..Same old meds and b.s sides to go with them..I'm so tired of it all..When I come to the boards, the same pattern follows, year after year.."X med was good for x months then I switched to x med because x med1 made me frigid/bonerless after x months on Dreamdram @5mg every 21 minutes.Should I get a new pdoc?"..
Know what I mean?..It's such a false life..Like a half of a life..You never get to be who you want to be, if only for short moments..Just enough to know somethings all wrong..At 43, I've given in to ever reaching my childhood dreams..My screwed up 20's and 30's took care of that..
CHRIST!! I couldn't think straight!!..Friggin' depression took me down and I didn't even know it...AARRGGHH!!..I missed!!..That's right..I blew it..Me and my big frickin' DEPRESSION..Gee, God must have been out of heaven when I called for help..God?..what another false thought..I laugh at these Christians who say there prayers have been answered because they gave more "heart"..Great..My heart was no good..Thanks God..I'm better now not believing.
Now, where's my rolo..I must look for yet ANOTHER headshrink..
Thanks for listening.
Mysteryroad
Posted by Questionmark on June 7, 2003, at 2:39:42
In reply to Re: Nightmare posts, posted by mysteryroad on June 6, 2003, at 21:08:18
> Thanks for the replies..I have yet to try Lex..And not sure If I will..I'm so tired of all the ad's and their sides..As like a lot of people, I've tried many with POOR results..
>
> In the 14 yrs of suffering from depression, I've found that NO medication has helped anything significant..It's the same suffering with the hope that something will come along and make us better..No chance..Let's be truthful.
>
> Basically, visiting my pdoc is like asking him for the flavor of the month..Same old meds and b.s sides to go with them..I'm so tired of it all..When I come to the boards, the same pattern follows, year after year.."X med was good for x months then I switched to x med because x med1 made me frigid/bonerless after x months on Dreamdram @5mg every 21 minutes.Should I get a new pdoc?"..
>
> Know what I mean?..It's such a false life..Like a half of a life..You never get to be who you want to be, if only for short moments..Just enough to know somethings all wrong..At 43, I've given in to ever reaching my childhood dreams..My screwed up 20's and 30's took care of that..
> CHRIST!! I couldn't think straight!!..Friggin' depression took me down and I didn't even know it...AARRGGHH!!..I missed!!..That's right..I blew it..Me and my big frickin' DEPRESSION..Gee, God must have been out of heaven when I called for help..
>
> God?..what another false thought..I laugh at these Christians who say there prayers have been answered because they gave more "heart"..Great..My heart was no good..Thanks God..I'm better now not believing.
>
> Now, where's my rolo..I must look for yet ANOTHER headshrink..
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Mysteryroad
i want to comment on that, but i don't know what to say. It was beautiful. Beautifully expressive. The truth is always repulsive but expressing it is almost always beautiful. i'm so sorry you lost so many years. i know it's not worth anything, but i am.
You're right though, especially about meds and these D. Boards and what not. This is ridiculous. Paying all the money to try something else that might help a little, with side effects, just to get a glimpse of happiness for awhile... and then it's do it all over again. "A thousand hours just thrown away, just to feel my heart for a second" (The Cure).
You've got two decades on me, but i'm afraid you're right. i'm really afraid you're right. At this point i have just one drug-hope left (Nardil), which i would probably like to try-- but it would be just for some temporary relief, as it seems as though all drugs eventually lose their effectiveness (so i probably wouldn't stay on that long anyway-- least itd be easier going off).
Interesting what you said about God and calling for help. i know how you feel (more or less). The really sad freaking thing, though, is that there are probably NUMERous people all over the world suffering far worse than i-- and their prayers still go unanswered as well. Nothing makes any sense.
Oh my GOSH i must stop rambling! Okay, sorry for the added negativity. i wish i could end with a word of encouragement, but i really do not know how. Um, keep looking up.
No, i wish you well.
Posted by Mariposa on June 7, 2003, at 14:29:23
In reply to Re: Nightmare posts, posted by mysteryroad on June 6, 2003, at 21:08:18
Yes - an expressive and heart-wrenching post - I wish I had something incitefull or positive to respond with but I am at a loss for words. I guess I could say you are not alone, but sometimes that has such a hollow ring to it. You have suffered much and I know things are hopeless and depressing, but please DO NOT GIVE UP!!!
I am 47, never taken AD's before, DX - depression (which I have had for years but never realized what was wrong w/me). I was given Lex, I had almost all of the SE's and had a rough beginning, but I stuck it out and I am doing SO MUCH BETTER now.
I know for you it seems like why go through all this HELL just to find out this drug won't work either - but please try to be positive, it may be the one that WILL work. We are always here to listen and offer support and encouragement and we REAlly want to help if possible.
Best of luck and keep us posted!~~~8|8
Posted by mysteryroad on June 7, 2003, at 21:24:14
In reply to Re: » mysteryroad, posted by Questionmark on June 7, 2003, at 2:39:42
> i want to comment on that, but i don't know what to say. It was beautiful. Beautifully expressive. The truth is always repulsive but expressing it is almost always beautiful. i'm so sorry you lost so many years. i know it's not worth anything, but i am.
Are you really?..Man, that hits home so hard..Thankyou.
>"A thousand hours just thrown away, just to feel my heart for a second" (The Cure).
Ahh.., Music..How would we cope without it..All those emotions we crave, good and bad, are borne of music..Whenever were alone with music, we get our emotions jabbed, beyond control..Melody just blows me away..I just heard "The Scientist" off Coldplays new c/d..Such a wonderful addiction, this melody stuff..
So I got 20 yrs. on ya? Great..Cause when I was 23 I didn't know shit about what was happening to me..I went about my manic way spending 15 years in the music business as a recording engineer..I thought I would be the best someday..So much confidence!!..Nothing could stop me..IT WAS MY CALLING!!...I thought..I thought..I thought I would get life right..RaZZ Mf'er!!
Next stop Wall St...4 yrs of hell..But..I passed the Series 7/63 exam..Math?..Couldn't add in H.S..But now, I'm super bipolar man!!..I'll pass anything!..Where's the books?..Gotta get to the top, make that life of mine..
I passed w/ 4 weeks solid studying EVERY day..We'll forget the next 2 yrs..
After leaving Mannyhatty from sheer burnout and 5 more job titles later, I find myself behind a cash register selling vitamins..I should be SO thankful for what I have..I'm physically healthy, have many good attributes and still have a side that wants to succeed..I race bikes and go VERY fast..I crack 30 yr olds..I feel for other people..I am low maintenance and your basic creature of habit..
But my heart ACHES so bad I wish I could vanish at any given moment..I am miserable every day as soon as I open my eyes..It's just there..It won't go away..I am not grateful and thankful..I am SO NOT grateful and thankful, I sit in my room waiting for the knockdown blow to show me why I should be so..HAPPY TO BE ALIVE!!..It ain't comin'..
So there it is, my nutshell life (HaHa?) that you will never follow BECAUSE I just made you aware..
Get it?Questionmark, at 23 you have your whole life ahead of you..Roll with it cause you know what's ahead..Dig down deep and fight very hard..I promise it will work..Keep learning about depression..Never lose track..Keep it on the back burner..Just keep it off the front..Use the meds..They sometimes bring you where you need to be, if only fleeting..Just don't let them get ahead of you..
I also wish you well..And it will be!!
Posted by mysteryroad on June 7, 2003, at 21:53:39
In reply to Re: Nightmare posts » mysteryroad, posted by Mariposa on June 7, 2003, at 14:29:23
Thanks Mariposa..
Yes.. very, very realistically hopeless I am..
I refuse these drugs..It's like some sick joke..1 step up, 2 steps back.."Here, this will make you feel better..Don't mind the maggots"..Stripped of our libido?..What good are we?..Can't even have a decent lay?..Insomnia?..Wait.. Can't get OUT of bed?..Irratability?.."Here, have some suicidal thoughts!"..Boy, the pharms love me..Give me the stack!!When do I take them? Empty what?
I've given up on meds Mariposa..Lex is going nowhere..Nobody is having a good time on this stuff..It's all the same..I've tried them ALL!!
Thankyou for the kind words..If I owned peace of mind I would give some to you..
Posted by bretbe on June 7, 2003, at 22:19:57
In reply to Nightmare posts, posted by mysteryroad on June 5, 2003, at 7:49:53
I feel your pain! (see below...symptoms have slightly lessened on occasion, otherwise same as 16 freakin years ago)
Medication Trials Overview (in chronological order of use)
Prozac & Zanax
Imipramine & Valium
Pamelor (Nortryptaline)
Welbutrin
Prozac at higher doses
Lithium
Desyrel
Buspar
Effexor
Prozac at lower doses & Desyrel
Amatryptaline
Paxil
Nardil (MAOI)
Mellaril (anti-psychotic)
ECT
Mellaril & Depakote & Klonopin (Clonazepam)
Luvox & Mellaril & Clonazepam
Clonazepam only
Serzone & Clonazapam
Ritalin (Amphetamine) & Clonazepam
Luvox at higher levels & Clonazepam
Remeron (SSRI/NARI) & Clonazepam
Tegretol & Clonazepam
Lamictal & Clonazepam
Depakote & Clonazepam
Trileptal & ClonazepamOnset August 1987 (age 19) – ORIGINAL SYMPTOMS:
1. Extreme psychological pain; hurts like a physical pain in head and chest areas, as if located where feelings and emotions used to reside. Pain is inescapable, analogous to how nausea engulfs head and overwhelms, but one can’t point to a specific point of pain. (Nausea is just an analogy, I don’t feel nauseous, it’s just that there is an intense pain in the same area one would feel nausea, i.e., the general area in and around head).
2. Intense mental anxiety with no corresponding physiological manifestations (e.g., no heart dysrhythmia, muscle tension, clammy hands, panicky feeling, etc.). Some periods of heightened irritability but seem to stem from difficulty of managing the feeling of chronic pain and misery. Note: I am very adept at appearing “normal” to others on the outside, regardless of how I feel on the inside; people don’t “see” my pain.
3. Extreme depression. Regularly pray to die to escape pain, not because I want to hurt myself. Too afraid of Hell to commit suicide. Feelings of anguish, despair, impending doom and gloom, as if world was about to end or that my sins are just too great (I wished the world would end to stop my torment/misery)
4. Extreme feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Constantly ruminating about small mistakes, faults, imperfections or weaknesses, even though I have been a decent human being without many of the normal trappings of youth (e.g., no alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.). Compulsive need to confess sins as if to purge myself of the pain which I believed to be brought on by my wickedness. It’s like the guilt “switch” got turned on and I can’t turn it off.
5. A feeling as if I was in a different world; like I was seeing life from behind a wall of glass…detached…like a cloud or thickness over head. No normal feelings of connection with the world (e.g., see a sunset and recognize as aesthetically beautiful, but no corresponding feeling/emotional response). No ability to feel calm, peace, or warmth; constant internal mental pain/anxiety. No ability for mental rest (subjective feeling of tension/pressure in head). Only escape is sleep…initially feel slightly better in morning. Yet often dream with the same feeling…unconsciousness is only true escape.
6. Some fear that others can see how sick I am on the inside and at the same time, thinking no one will believe me if I tried to explain it. NOTE: I often thought to myself that this was the most bizarre pain and with which no one else in the world could possibly relate to or be suffering from; I felt totally alone. It did not feel possible to be in more pain and still exist; my head would have to explode or something; in fact, I often wished to be able to pass out so I didn’t have to endure the pain…no such luck!
Posted by Questionmark on June 9, 2003, at 1:35:03
In reply to Re: » Questionmark, posted by mysteryroad on June 7, 2003, at 21:24:14
> > i want to comment on that, but i don't know what to say. It was beautiful. Beautifully expressive. The truth is always repulsive but expressing it is almost always beautiful. i'm so sorry you lost so many years. i know it's not worth anything, but i am.
> Are you really?..Man, that hits home so hard..Thankyou.i'm glad; youre welcome. And i really am.
> >"A thousand hours just thrown away, just to feel my heart for a second" (The Cure).> Ahh.., Music..How would we cope without it..All those emotions we crave, good and bad, are borne of music..Whenever were alone with music, we get our emotions jabbed, beyond control..Melody just blows me away..I just heard "The Scientist" off Coldplays new c/d..Such a wonderful addiction, this melody stuff..
Yeah, seriously. The one thing that most of "us" can usually get some pleasure from.
> So I got 20 yrs. on ya? Great..Cause when I was 23 I didn't know shit about what was happening to me..I went about my manic way spending 15 years in the music business as a recording engineer..I thought I would be the best someday..So much confidence!!..Nothing could stop me..IT WAS MY CALLING!!...I thought..I thought..I thought I would get life right..RaZZ Mf'er!!
>
> Next stop Wall St...4 yrs of hell..But..I passed the Series 7/63 exam..Math?..Couldn't add in H.S..But now, I'm super bipolar man!!..I'll pass anything!..Where's the books?..Gotta get to the top, make that life of mine..
>
> I passed w/ 4 weeks solid studying EVERY day..We'll forget the next 2 yrs..Interesting.
> After leaving Mannyhatty from sheer burnout and 5 more job titles later, I find myself behind a cash register selling vitamins..I should be SO thankful for what I have..I'm physically healthy, have many good attributes and still have a side that wants to succeed..I race bikes and go VERY fast..I crack 30 yr olds..I feel for other people..I am low maintenance and your basic creature of habit..
>
> But my heart ACHES so bad I wish I could vanish at any given moment..I am miserable every day as soon as I open my eyes..It's just there..It won't go away..I am not grateful and thankful..I am SO NOT grateful and thankful, I sit in my room waiting for the knockdown blow to show me why I should be so..HAPPY TO BE ALIVE!!..It ain't comin'..i know what you mean. i'm sorry.
> So there it is, my nutshell life (HaHa?) that you will never follow BECAUSE I just made you aware..
> Get it?i hope. i'm not bipolar though, and am never manic (though when i'm on a stimulant i can get the disgustingly naive overconfidence and unrealistic hope that i have come to detest). But... yeah. Hopefully being aware of my problems & sh** will help me get over some of this wretched disease, eventually. Hopefully.
> Questionmark, at 23 you have your whole life ahead of you..Roll with it cause you know what's ahead..Dig down deep and fight very hard..I promise it will work..Keep learning about depression..Never lose track..Keep it on the back burner..Just keep it off the front..Use the meds..They sometimes bring you where you need to be, if only fleeting..Just don't let them get ahead of you..
> I also wish you well..And it will be!!i really like that advice-- useful and smart & doesn't just sound like BS. Thanks. Seriously.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.