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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
Well, lasted almost 2 months on no meds, but really crashed this week. Lots of binge eating on cookies, cakes, fried foods, (like a caveman or something), crying, sleeping and this from someone trying to get ready for a marathon. What a freakin' joke. I'm a pathetic looser. Always have been. Always will. No pills ain't gonna cure me, especially all the supplements. I was taking so much (supplements) I couldn't keep track of everything or cart them around, plus they weren't working and they cost a lot of money.
Left sick early yesterday after eating a whole cake in the break room and called in sick today. Have no clothes to wear 'cause I can't get into any of my office clothes which are nice. Look old and am old. Tired of this sh** year after year after year, esp. this time of year.
Anyway, went back some meds this morning. May or may not get a temporary boast but it won't last. NOt calling PDoc 'cause it will the same 'ole same 'ole. Sick of it all: The docs, the therapists, the pills, the "feel-good" books, and all the rest of the useless crap that just drains one's wallet and adds to someone else's.
Posted by Bill L on January 7, 2003, at 12:44:27
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
Maybe you should change docs and get some fresh advice. It's true that therapists are expensive and it sounds like you have already tried therapy. Pdocs are also expensive and usually not as well covered by insurance as an internist. Try seeing a regular internist. About 70% of antidepressants in the US are prescribed by primary care doctors (internists, general practitioners, family docs, pediatricians, OG/GYN's). The other 30% by psychiatrists.
Don't give up. There are a lot of effective drug alternatives.
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 7, 2003, at 12:56:04
In reply to Re: Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by Bill L on January 7, 2003, at 12:44:27
sjb,
sorry yuo are having a hard time of it.
my meds are not working and i too want to throw in the towel of this vicious cycle.
i hope you have someone to talk this through with-
your gp?especially with all the pressure of the big race!
good luck sjb
jyl
Posted by rayww on January 7, 2003, at 13:24:53
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
January is always a rough month regardless. Rather than pay for a pdoc, I hire a housekeeper. Now, that's a dumb idea I know, but when I can't see through the clutter, I can't see through the clutter. Now, that was a dumb comment. It's hard to know with supplements. I lowered my dosage just after Christmas, and I'm paying for it this week, but yesterday I increased it and today I feel fine, BUT, my housekeeper just left too, so how are we supposed to know what's really going on? When I get off, I feel like the dumbest person on earth. When I'm on it's all okay. Why are we so connected to ourselves? A dumb question.
Posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 15:27:51
In reply to Re: Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps » sjb, posted by rayww on January 7, 2003, at 13:24:53
Thanks, all, for the replies. I really appreciate it. I guess I will try to change PDocs and as much as I whine about the cost, my insurance is excellent and covers PDocs as well as internists, etc. I am grateful for this as I realize many others are not as fortuante in this regard. I guess I just don't want to pick a name out of the phone book, nor do I have a lot of patience at this point.
Yeah, wish I wasn't so intuned, etc. Depression can be incredibly selfish and I hate that. But when everything little thing is a chore and you just want to throw in the towel, life really sucks like that. I have friends who actually have FUN going out, or going to the gym, or going on vacation. These things are all CHORES for me. EVERYTHING is a chore, dammit, and I'm sick of it.
Posted by Nala on January 7, 2003, at 16:25:19
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
I agree with you. I also am fed up with the meds and such. I've tried most supplements related to mood known to man without sucess. I exercise (although breathless sometimes due to meds) religiously. I'm sure there will be a light at the end of our tunnels. I really understand what your going though. It gets old, huh?
Nala
Posted by Guy on January 7, 2003, at 23:49:36
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
I know exactly what you are going through... feeling sick when everyone around you is enjoying life and totally oblivious to your suffering. The only think that keeps me going is my kids and the odd day when I feel half human. I agree that you should find a doctor who really empathizes with people like us. (I don't think any normal person can ever understand what we are going through.)My heart goes out to you...in my darkest moments I always turn to nature for reassurance and comfort. We are part of the Earth.
Posted by Noa on January 8, 2003, at 16:48:14
In reply to Re: Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 15:27:51
You are not selfish. Just frustrated. I've been through the frustration, too. If you have the luxury of good insurance, get some reccommendations from folks of good pdocs, and interview two or three--look for one who is competent and interested in hard-to-treat depression, one who has a lot of intellectual curiosity, who will go the extra mile to investigate what might work.
Posted by MarathonMom on January 8, 2003, at 21:16:17
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
Hang in there and the meds will kick in soon. I too tried to taper off of all meds last year and relapsed 2 months later. I have completed 2 marathons, but I am still struggling with depression and many days I just don't have the energy, desire or motivation to run. I didn't even sign up for a marathon this year and did horrible in a 1/2 I ran last fall.
So, I know how you feel. Perhaps you aren't sleeping well and this is draining your energy levels. If you can bring yourself to lace up your shoes and run most days of the week, your overeating and weight issue combined with sensible eating will rememdy itself. A marathon takes an enormous amount of mental strength as well as physical endurance. You owe it to yourself to train properly. I think all of us who run marathons are just a bit nuts anyway. :-)
Good Luck in the months ahead.
Posted by BlackSheep on January 9, 2003, at 12:30:09
In reply to Re: Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by Guy on January 7, 2003, at 23:49:36
Guy,
Boy, isn't that the truth. Nature, most times, is the only thing that keeps me going and why I fight so hard on environmental causes. You worded it beautifully.
Posted by Ponder on January 10, 2003, at 17:03:35
In reply to Crash and burn, back on meds - had it with supps, posted by sjb on January 7, 2003, at 12:28:57
sjb,
I won't tell you all the stuff you already know, like how the hopelessness and cynicism are symptoms of the depression and NOT to be construed as accurate interpretations of reality, but I couldn't keep myself from commenting on this one thing--you say you feel and look old. That, too, is a depression thing. I can't believe how depression warps the mirror!! I am embarrassed to admit this, but I have had cosmetic surgery more than once during depressive episodes because I was sure I was unacceptably ugly. Talk about draining money from my wallet into somebody else's for ineffective treatment! Somehow we must learn to distinguish the voice of depression from our more rational selves and refuse to listen to those deranged and self-depricating remarks. Hope you're feeling better already. Please know that YOU WILL FEEL BETTER and YOU LOOK BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU DO and YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!!!!Managing life is hard enough, managing life with a chronic illness is harder still, managing life with a chronic illness and holding down a job and training for a marathon....well, come on, that's amazing!
This is the end of the thread.
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