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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Elysium9 on November 15, 2002, at 12:58:16
The information that I have received, has led me to beleive that I may indeed be; bipolar1, 2, or 3?, maybe a rapid-cycler?. As I was apprehensive, ambivilant to start taking antidepressant's, I am equally apprehensive, ambivilant to start with a new menagerie of medication's, ie: antipsychotic's, mood stabilizer's, ect.
A friend of mine wrote me yesterday, and said, "I think it's time for you to stop your self-diagnosis. Go see a doctor."
Perhaps he is right. Perhaps I am procrastinating.
Perhaps not. I am sure at this time, when I walk into the doctors office, slap down on his desk, the research, the information that I have collected, on the effect's that SSRI's alone have on the bipolar person. The effect's that every SSRI that has been prescribed to myself; Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Wellbutrin, and the anti-anxiety medication, Buspar. He will agree, and say, hey, perhaps you are bipolar. Start me on a new regimen of medication.
This terrorfies me. I am an artist. What I do for a living, when I'm able to work. It is what I am best at. The purpose of my being. The purpose of my being here on the planet.
Will these medication's have an effect on my creative imagination? When euphoria kicks-in, this is when I am at my most creative, and productive. When I loose myself, go wild, create.
I know that many painter's have been mentally-ill, Van Gogh, Pollack, many more. I have also read, heard theory's, that there is a connection between sanity, and creativity.
Will these other medication's, lithium, Zyprexa, Depekote, ect., make me fall off of my magic carpet-ride?
Posted by catmint on November 15, 2002, at 14:29:24
In reply to magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by Elysium9 on November 15, 2002, at 12:58:16
>I know that many painter's have been mentally-ill, Van Gogh, Pollack, many more. I have also read, heard theory's, that there is a connection between sanity, and creativity.
>Will these other medication's, lithium, Zyprexa, Depekote, ect., make me fall off of my magic carpet-ride?Van Gogh produced up to 30 canvases in a month. This was during his lucid, more manic moods. He was also highly irritable and argumentative and had a problem with coffee and alcohol. HE suffered deeply as we all know, being institutinalized due to seizures of an unknown origin and severe depression. He still produced art during his stay at the institutions in Saint-Remy and Arles. He stated he was filled with "a certain undercurrent of vague sadness difficult to define."
He was able to produce art continuisly due to a passion for expressing the beauty around him. This passion resulted from the work that he put into his art in the beginning. I believe this passion never really leaves us; if the work was done, the artist will continue to paint or draw despite moods.
I am reminded of another artist, Art Pepper, one of the top five saxaphone players there ever was. HE once said that all great talent comes from hard work. Some may think that drugs are a rationalization for great music, but all the great musicians with drug addictions were great musicians BEFORE they became junkies.
I guess what I'm getting at is, even if we need to be on mood stabilzers or even anti-psychotics, we are just trying to relieve our suffering. Passion for anything we do in life can come and go, due to moods but when the artist reaches a satisfactory level according to their standards, then one can produce great work depite moods, despite drugs and despite medications.I know for myself that I have not put in the amount of hard work it takes to be a great artist yet. And when this depression lifts, and I start to work again, I am sure that once the work is done, then the passion slowly but surely comes back. Producing a good painting for me, will happen due to many many bad paintngs of trial and error. Being on Depakote, why would that change anything? If I have done the work, then the end result will be good.
If I believe that the only way to produce great works of art is during lucid,manic periods and madness, then I am in a real bind because I will have traded in a quality of life that mood stabilizers provide: improved relationships, positive outlook, eating and sleeping normally, and even-temperament. What I do believe is is that great art and stable moods can go together if, and I repeat, the work was done.
I just wish I knew what medication cures laziness:)
Take good care,
Amy
Posted by dreamerz on November 17, 2002, at 6:53:59
In reply to Re: magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by catmint on November 15, 2002, at 14:29:24
With mood stabilisers I find no impairment on creativity except for writing..just the sedation can make me lazy...
As for anti-psychotics(even low dose) I've found it can dampen the imagination and I have hardly any interest/motivation...
More work can get done with stabilisers but with BIG self disipline and I find the quality has improved..less head noise and indecision.
Just my xperience..
Posted by Elysium9 on November 17, 2002, at 14:12:11
In reply to Re: magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by dreamerz on November 17, 2002, at 6:53:59
>
> With mood stabilisers I find no impairment on creativity except for writing..just the sedation can make me lazy...
> As for anti-psychotics(even low dose) I've found it can dampen the imagination and I have hardly any interest/motivation...
> More work can get done with stabilisers but with BIG self disipline and I find the quality has improved..less head noise and indecision.
> Just my xperience..I am finding it more, and more difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time. My thought's run, race rampantly. I am reading somewhere around 12 book's at the same time. I find, 'outside', noise to be extremely distracting. 'Outside', sound that is not in my own mind, or intentionally placed in my envirement, ie. the stereo, television, ect. However, the television drives me crazy. My hearing is extremely sensative. I am living with my father, who is very, hard-of-hearing. He watches the television at top-volume. I find it difficult to think, read, concentrate on anything when my dad is watching t.v.
"Head-noise", is inside me at all time's. Do mood-stabilizer's reduce the noise, static? Make it easier to concentrate?
The anti-psychotic medication dulls your imagination?
As I have mentioned, I am not on any medication, for my mental-illness at this time.
Posted by dreamerz on November 17, 2002, at 15:26:18
In reply to Re: magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by Elysium9 on November 17, 2002, at 14:12:11
I wouldn't be afraid of trying anything that a doc would suggest..you can always try something else.
I would explain to the doc what you said in the post.
I'm still in mid treatment and find it difficult to read , concentrate finishing tasks..
I'm finding it easier to deal with noise sensitivity --
Whatever you decide you'll still have bad days/and good days just adds a protective filter...gives you time to think before acting on something.Anti-pychotics may work wonders for you..we're all so different.
Hope this makes sense..take care.
Posted by oracle on November 18, 2002, at 0:48:26
In reply to magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by Elysium9 on November 15, 2002, at 12:58:16
No one knows how meds will effects them till they try. And if they do not suit you, you can stop.
One think is sure, mental illness get worse, if not treated.
Posted by Elysium9 on November 18, 2002, at 12:36:05
In reply to Re: magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by oracle on November 18, 2002, at 0:48:26
> No one knows how meds will effects them till they try. And if they do not suit you, you can stop.
> One think is sure, mental illness get worse, if not treated.You are right. I am going to make a call either today, or tommorow, to see someone new. If the meds prescribed to me effect me poorly, I can always stop taking them. Maybe they will help.
Thanks.
Posted by oracle on November 18, 2002, at 13:10:31
In reply to Re: magic carpet-ride: creativity and antipsychotic's, posted by Elysium9 on November 18, 2002, at 12:36:05
> You are right. I am going to make a call either today, or tommorow, to see someone new. If the meds prescribed to me effect me poorly, I can always stop taking them. Maybe they will help.
> Thanks.
I do wish finding the right med is not so much hunt and peck. It is frustrating. I just remember that I cannot function if my illness is not treated, so the choice to continue trying meds is the only option.
This is the end of the thread.
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