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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by musil on September 10, 2002, at 7:11:03
Well, here goes.
3 years on 20mg Celexa, 150mg Trazadone, 1.5mg clonazepam (Klonopin) for the following symptoms:
Major Depression with a psychotic flair, including aural and visual hallucinations
Early waking at 2AM
PTSD & PADSymptoms were controlled with this cocktail as well as they ever have been. Clonazepam dose never increased.
I fell for anti-benzo, anti-ssri rhetoric and began a rapid taper. Understandable, since I was raised in a religious cult. I stopped psychotherapy. My symptoms returned in greater intensity than ever and anti-benzo folks applauded me like adolescent cheerleaders.
I've resumed Celexa and PID diazepam along with psychotherapy, to the jeers of the now ugly anti-benzo pep squad. Therapist is also pdoc, didn't encourage or discourage taper, has never refused me meds, though is a "reluctant psychopharmacologist" and a trained analyst.
I'm left with numbness on my left side (face, arm and leg), a limp and an appt. with a neurologist. I hear a voice that calls out my name and loud bangs. Pdoc wonders if conversion disorder, which makes me extremely upset (more than usual. ha.) I'm 36, hold down a full time job, have a mortgage and two great children and a supported but tired wife.
I'm more than angry with anti-med factions. I'm mad at myself for falling once again for black and white reasoning, and feel like a horrible person for failing without meds, and feel that my current condition must also somehow be my fault.
I'm not taking diazepam as prescribed (PID) because I'm still have anti-benzo lingo in my head, because I apparently like to deprive myself of relief or my external audience is oppressive, I started smoking again as an anxiolytic (!) and suicical ideation is always with me, including a method.
I want to hear from people who have used benzodiazepines for a long time, without tolerance or withdrawal. I want to put the anti-benzo thing to rest because klonopin helped me. Pardon me, but in conclusion, SHIT.
Posted by Essence on September 10, 2002, at 11:26:20
In reply to TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by musil on September 10, 2002, at 7:11:03
I used Xanax, .50 QID for 7 yrs, never had to increase and it never pooped out on me. It kept me functioning and sane. A 'new' psydoc decided that I had been on it long enough and two years ago took me off it. To replace that, he put me on a antipsycotic, unknown to me what it was, which left me on the sofa for 18 mos but did alleviate the anxiety. Needless to say I wasn't functioning and told him this, he then took me off the Risperdal and put me on Wellbutrin in Dec, BAD move, it totally exacerbated my anxiety and panic disorder and after two weeks I came off of it. In January he put me on Remeron, which helped greatly with my depression but did nothing for the anxiety, in March, he started me on Clonazepam, .50 BID. It helps, but I still have some lingering anxiety I fight with daily, but I'm functioning and working again. My benzo of choice would be Xanax again but he won't prescribe it again. Don't listen to those anti-benzo groups, this medication was made for a reason and it has helped millions get their lives back with minimal side affects. Sure withdrawal is hellish, but it's short lived and is far less hellish than living daily with debilitating anxiety and panic disorders that keeps a person from living life.
Just my two cents worth.
Ess
Posted by jay on September 10, 2002, at 15:51:02
In reply to TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by musil on September 10, 2002, at 7:11:03
Hi:Well, let me say, I can speak for two instances, my father and myself. We have both used benzodiazepines for over 10 years, with NO problems with tolerance, addiction, or needing to raise the dose. The same dose that helped me 10 years ago, helps me today.
Along with antidepressants, they HAVE saved myself and my father's life. I am *damn* tired of all the anti-med, anti-benzo, anti-this..blah blah.
Medications, with some guidance in therapy, WORK, and yes no med will 'cure' you, but they WILL provide relief. All's you need to do is use some of the insight from therapy, and the combo WILL work.
Your best bet:
Distance...CUT OFF the 'anti-med' people...they are toxic to your well being. You are a grown man..it's NONE of their business! If you had a heart condition, would you not take your medications as prescribed? Fight it (the anti-med rhetoric)...fight AGAINST them. You are much much much worth it...and others NEED you.Take all of your meds as prescribed....and Vallium is MUCH better for you then smoking..of course you know...but it goes to show how stupid THEIR 'anti-med' rhetoric is.
My father and I are quite possibly alive today because of these great meds, and our lives have improved leaps and bounds because of them. That's not just a few months or even a year or so...that is 10 years!
There are many others on here with a similar experience. You *deserve* the best...and the technology of excellent, safe meds WILL help.
Please post for support whenever you need it...heck I'll give you my email addy if you just need to talk. Take your meds and take the healing road...the time has come!Best..and all the strength...
Jay :-)
Posted by Seamus2 on September 10, 2002, at 23:35:31
In reply to TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by musil on September 10, 2002, at 7:11:03
Have you ever had a workup for the weird epilepsies? An EEG?
This unilateral weakness and numbness seems neurological to me.
You have the quality of being succinct and non-dramatic, if that's any boost to a man's ego. <g>
Seamus
Posted by musil on September 11, 2002, at 6:36:22
In reply to Re: TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback » musil, posted by Seamus2 on September 10, 2002, at 23:35:31
A heartfelt thanks to Essence, Jay and Seamus2.
Are not we all survivors to this point; after all the folks I know (knew) that ended their lives, the fact that we are reading and typing on this forum is something to admire.Again, thank you. The posts in this forum are made by valuable people (at the moment, I include myself) and don't any of you let go without granting yourselves relief with the resources that are available.
Posted by IsoM on September 12, 2002, at 1:08:44
In reply to Re: TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by musil on September 11, 2002, at 6:36:22
I missed your post before. I didn't use BZD as long as some have, but I was on alprazolam (Xanax) for four years & never increased the dose either. Nothing bad with it at all. It helped me feel more normal & not surprisingly, helped me apply methods for lowering my anxiety & hyper-sensitive reactions to stimuli. I wish I could still get it prescribed to use when needed (not that often now) but my doctor thinks BZDs aren't good for longer than a month at most. He's a great doctor in every other way & I can function without them so I won't change docs.
Posted by Seamus2 on September 12, 2002, at 21:31:27
In reply to Re: TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by musil on September 11, 2002, at 6:36:22
My, you certainly are not man with without qualities!
You can see past your navel to the bigger picture. Perhaps even beyond your role in it, as the Stoics did.
I once used BZDs (xanax in particular) regularly and to excess; but the excess is my own definition: relying on a drug to evade the reality principle. (okay, it's Freud's, but who remember him anymore? <g>)
With some psychological help; augmented by the xanax itself and Nardil, I eventually gained enough ego strength to dispense w/ the xanax.
I still insist this unilateral weakness et al. be checked out. It is in no way a normal side effect from ANY drug.
Any results from the neurologist yet?
Seamus
Posted by musil on September 14, 2002, at 5:29:59
In reply to Re: TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by Seamus2 on September 12, 2002, at 21:31:27
The neurologist was puzzled, decried benzodiazepines as addictive and sedating, surmised that my physical symptoms were the result of "emotional problems" and ordered a PET scan. If the PET scan is inconclusive, he will not "spend any more money" to determine the cause of unilateral symptoms. But he assured me that my symptoms were "awful" and that we all have some cross to bear, though he insisted that as "his patient" he wanted me to know that he was a "damn good neurologist".
I have a strong need to be listened to and understood, and perhaps I transferred way too much power to this guy, but I was left quite befuddled and more anxious than usual, such that fallen leaves and grains of dirt began to captivate me, I languished for 45 minutes in a gas station restroom on the way home though I can't remember what I did in there, only leaving the restroom...I don't remember entering.
Every time I take a diazepam I think I'm abusing them, and the anxiety trebles. I want to take a valium and move through, but I get hung up somewhere.
I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me: I bore myself and you.
> My, you certainly are not man with without qualities!
>
> You can see past your navel to the bigger picture. Perhaps even beyond your role in it, as the Stoics did.
>
> I once used BZDs (xanax in particular) regularly and to excess; but the excess is my own definition: relying on a drug to evade the reality principle. (okay, it's Freud's, but who remember him anymore? <g>)
>
> With some psychological help; augmented by the xanax itself and Nardil, I eventually gained enough ego strength to dispense w/ the xanax.
>
> I still insist this unilateral weakness et al. be checked out. It is in no way a normal side effect from ANY drug.
>
> Any results from the neurologist yet?
>
> Seamus
>
>
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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