Posted by musil on September 14, 2002, at 5:29:59
In reply to Re: TIA, pitiful life form's request for feedback, posted by Seamus2 on September 12, 2002, at 21:31:27
The neurologist was puzzled, decried benzodiazepines as addictive and sedating, surmised that my physical symptoms were the result of "emotional problems" and ordered a PET scan. If the PET scan is inconclusive, he will not "spend any more money" to determine the cause of unilateral symptoms. But he assured me that my symptoms were "awful" and that we all have some cross to bear, though he insisted that as "his patient" he wanted me to know that he was a "damn good neurologist".
I have a strong need to be listened to and understood, and perhaps I transferred way too much power to this guy, but I was left quite befuddled and more anxious than usual, such that fallen leaves and grains of dirt began to captivate me, I languished for 45 minutes in a gas station restroom on the way home though I can't remember what I did in there, only leaving the restroom...I don't remember entering.
Every time I take a diazepam I think I'm abusing them, and the anxiety trebles. I want to take a valium and move through, but I get hung up somewhere.
I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me: I bore myself and you.
> My, you certainly are not man with without qualities!
>
> You can see past your navel to the bigger picture. Perhaps even beyond your role in it, as the Stoics did.
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> I once used BZDs (xanax in particular) regularly and to excess; but the excess is my own definition: relying on a drug to evade the reality principle. (okay, it's Freud's, but who remember him anymore? <g>)
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> With some psychological help; augmented by the xanax itself and Nardil, I eventually gained enough ego strength to dispense w/ the xanax.
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> I still insist this unilateral weakness et al. be checked out. It is in no way a normal side effect from ANY drug.
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> Any results from the neurologist yet?
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> Seamus
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poster:musil
thread:119447
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020914/msgs/119827.html