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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Chloe on September 1, 2002, at 17:17:28
Hi All
I have had 5 treatments of ECT, and I think I am worse off than I started. After the first three, I was feeling pretty good, giddy, silly, happy. Then treatment #4 I had a really uncontrolled seizure that lasted 114 seconds. I woke up really confused and my memory felt like it was erased. It's rather disconcerting to lose your memory, but in the beginning it was fun. Now I feel scared and lost and more suicidal than ever. I have nothing left to loose. Everything that can be done for me has been tried. Maybe I just wasn't meant to live on this Earth.
I am off the Depakote and Neurontin. That is a big relief to me. But the small amount to of Li, doxepin, Celexa and valium just isn't cutting it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? When the treatment of last resort didn't even work...
I am scared. And I am not sure who I am anymore...Chloe
Posted by JonW on September 1, 2002, at 19:12:27
In reply to ECT-I am feeling worse..., posted by Chloe on September 1, 2002, at 17:17:28
Have you seen this website:
http://www.ksl.com/dump/news/cc/series/blues.htm
Somebody else here originally posted this and it looks very promising.
Hang in there,
Jon
Posted by Ritch on September 2, 2002, at 10:03:22
In reply to ECT-I am feeling worse..., posted by Chloe on September 1, 2002, at 17:17:28
> Hi All
> I have had 5 treatments of ECT, and I think I am worse off than I started. After the first three, I was feeling pretty good, giddy, silly, happy. Then treatment #4 I had a really uncontrolled seizure that lasted 114 seconds. I woke up really confused and my memory felt like it was erased. It's rather disconcerting to lose your memory, but in the beginning it was fun. Now I feel scared and lost and more suicidal than ever. I have nothing left to loose. Everything that can be done for me has been tried. Maybe I just wasn't meant to live on this Earth.
> I am off the Depakote and Neurontin. That is a big relief to me. But the small amount to of Li, doxepin, Celexa and valium just isn't cutting it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? When the treatment of last resort didn't even work...
> I am scared. And I am not sure who I am anymore...
>
> Chloe
Chloe,Some of your current symptoms may be the 'hangover' from the ECT treatments. From what I understand it takes a few weeks after ECT before your memory can start to become accessible again. It sounds like some depersonalization experience to me, anyhow. Try not to let your thoughts get stuck about (treatment of last resort). There are some other options that you haven't tried, MAOI's, thyroid augmentation, etc.
sorry you are having such
a harsh time,Mitch
Posted by Roo on September 2, 2002, at 12:11:04
In reply to Re: ECT-I am feeling worse... » Chloe, posted by JonW on September 1, 2002, at 19:12:27
Thanks Jon! That _is_ really hopeful. How come I
can't find any information about this on the web?Where can I find the thread where it was discussed within psycho babble?
Posted by JonW on September 2, 2002, at 13:23:12
In reply to Re: ECT-I am feeling worse...Jon W., posted by Roo on September 2, 2002, at 12:11:04
Hi roo,
Here's the post where I got it from:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020124/msgs/91649.html
And here's a link to the website for nemifitide:
http://www.innapharma.com/lead_compound.htm
Jon
Posted by Chloe on September 2, 2002, at 16:46:19
In reply to Re: ECT-I am feeling worse... » Chloe, posted by Ritch on September 2, 2002, at 10:03:22
> > Hi All
> > I have had 5 treatments of ECT, and I think I am worse off than I started. After the first three, I was feeling pretty good, giddy, silly, happy. Then treatment #4 I had a really uncontrolled seizure that lasted 114 seconds. I woke up really confused and my memory felt like it was erased. It's rather disconcerting to lose your memory, but in the beginning it was fun. Now I feel scared and lost and more suicidal than ever. I have nothing left to loose. Everything that can be done for me has been tried. Maybe I just wasn't meant to live on this Earth.
> > I am off the Depakote and Neurontin. That is a big relief to me. But the small amount to of Li, doxepin, Celexa and valium just isn't cutting it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? When the treatment of last resort didn't even work...
> > I am scared. And I am not sure who I am anymore...
> >
> > Chloe
>
>
> Chloe,
>
> Some of your current symptoms may be the 'hangover' from the ECT treatments. From what I understand it takes a few weeks after ECT before your memory can start to become accessible again. It sounds like some depersonalization experience to me, anyhow. Try not to let your thoughts get stuck about (treatment of last resort). There are some other options that you haven't tried, MAOI's, thyroid augmentation, etc.
>
> sorry you are having such
> a harsh time,
>
> Mitch
>Hi Mitch,
Thanks so much for writing. It is really scary to feel so confused. I think I am remembering things, then I find I forgot what I was trying to remember.
My pdoc finally called my back last night. She thought I was having some type of dissociative (or depersonalization, like you said) episode and I should take more valium or and AP. So I took more valium, and did feel a little better. I just don't understand why this would happen to me. I wish I understood better how ECT worked. Do you know why it impairs memory, and why it takes time to be able to make new memories again?Thank heavens for you people out here on the net. I am not supposed to be living alone while having ECT. But I really don't have a choice. I don't have anyone who can stay with me...So you all have been a real life line for me. Hopefully I won't forget that!
Thanks again, Mitch for reaching out to me.
Chloe
Posted by Ritch on September 3, 2002, at 9:05:56
In reply to Re: ECT-I am feeling worse... » Ritch, posted by Chloe on September 2, 2002, at 16:46:19
> > > Hi All
> > > I have had 5 treatments of ECT, and I think I am worse off than I started. After the first three, I was feeling pretty good, giddy, silly, happy. Then treatment #4 I had a really uncontrolled seizure that lasted 114 seconds. I woke up really confused and my memory felt like it was erased. It's rather disconcerting to lose your memory, but in the beginning it was fun. Now I feel scared and lost and more suicidal than ever. I have nothing left to loose. Everything that can be done for me has been tried. Maybe I just wasn't meant to live on this Earth.
> > > I am off the Depakote and Neurontin. That is a big relief to me. But the small amount to of Li, doxepin, Celexa and valium just isn't cutting it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? When the treatment of last resort didn't even work...
> > > I am scared. And I am not sure who I am anymore...
> > >
> > > Chloe
> >
> >
> > Chloe,
> >
> > Some of your current symptoms may be the 'hangover' from the ECT treatments. From what I understand it takes a few weeks after ECT before your memory can start to become accessible again. It sounds like some depersonalization experience to me, anyhow. Try not to let your thoughts get stuck about (treatment of last resort). There are some other options that you haven't tried, MAOI's, thyroid augmentation, etc.
> >
> > sorry you are having such
> > a harsh time,
> >
> > Mitch
> >
>
> Hi Mitch,
> Thanks so much for writing. It is really scary to feel so confused. I think I am remembering things, then I find I forgot what I was trying to remember.
> My pdoc finally called my back last night. She thought I was having some type of dissociative (or depersonalization, like you said) episode and I should take more valium or and AP. So I took more valium, and did feel a little better. I just don't understand why this would happen to me. I wish I understood better how ECT worked. Do you know why it impairs memory, and why it takes time to be able to make new memories again?
>
> Thank heavens for you people out here on the net. I am not supposed to be living alone while having ECT. But I really don't have a choice. I don't have anyone who can stay with me...So you all have been a real life line for me. Hopefully I won't forget that!
> Thanks again, Mitch for reaching out to me.
> Chloe
>
>Hey no problem! I was reading something somewhere the other day about how ECT "wipes out" your ability to access memories that were formed just previous to the ECT session. Then after some time they start to become accessible again. It's like they aren't erased, the "accessibility" is what gets temporarily wiped. Oddly enough, it is probably this broken accessibility of recent memories that seems to be therapeutic. I suppose it breaks ruminative depressive "loops" in your thinking. You mentioned feeling a lot better after one session. It is obviously effecting some sort of positive changes.
hang in there,
Mitch
Posted by reese1 on September 3, 2002, at 10:07:19
In reply to Re: dissociative reaction » Chloe, posted by Ritch on September 3, 2002, at 9:05:56
hello chloe,
i came hours away from having ect. i was inpatient waiting for the treatment and got to scared and was luckily able to get out.
what i know is this. the problem with the understanding from the public point of view on ect is awful. if you get beyond the barbaric thoughts most have you have the one thought that is rarely mentioned.
ect can work. ect sometimes work. ect takes time to work. etc etc etc
i don't know who the author is but they wrote a book about there expierence and said it took them six months to feel the full results of the ect. not only is there the healing period for the mental aspect there are other things as well. plus changin your med's etc. i don't know if you are bi-polar, depressed, a combination, but it's all very hard.
but i think people go into ect thinking this is the last resort and it will work if i can get through the fear of hell. but i think that sometimes it's much like one's early responses when they begin there ssri spin down the hole. start with zoloft, move to wellbutrin, then effexor, and nardil, parnate bla bla bla
but ect takes time and i think that is the one thing that can lead to horrible sadness after the treatments. i was under the impression that if i had gone through 6-12 treatments than the results would be seen immediately. it wasn't till later that i learned this usually isn't the case.
i think it takes a lot of guts to do what you did. i didn't have those guts. and i'm suffering more for it possibly.
i hope it goes okay. i was just wondering that if you were bi-polar, i think i saw that you were taken off some of the mood stabalizers. also it's hard being alone because all you have around is the echo of everything you don't want to hear in your thoughts and the people and places around you. if anything give yourself a prescription to not fucking care. if anybody deserves a break, a true break from concern, doubt, fear, etc it's you. though this is hard or impossible to do when one is in the darkness of clouds i hope you are able to at least give yourself some comfort and watch movies, rent rent rent movies if you can. i'm never able to do that. no matter what state i'm in. i can't sit still. or if i sit still i can't look outward enought to get out of myself.
please take care
doug
Posted by Jerrympls on September 5, 2002, at 22:41:41
In reply to ECT-I am feeling worse..., posted by Chloe on September 1, 2002, at 17:17:28
Chloe -
ECT is far from the last resort . Your recent memories will return in time - have your friends help jolt your memory by talking alot about events surrounding your ECT.
I hope you are feeling better and that the ECT proves helpful.
Jerry
Posted by Chloe on September 6, 2002, at 18:34:20
In reply to Re: ECT-I am feeling worse... » Chloe, posted by Jerrympls on September 5, 2002, at 22:41:41
Thanks everyone for your support. I have had 7 treatments, and things are starting to improve. My body seems to be getting used to going under anesthesia and waking up without too much difficulty. And I always sleep so soundly the night after a treatment. That's really nice. I am also glad to be off so many medications.
Jerry, if ECT is far from the treatment of last resort, what else is there??? I can't even imagine. Thanks again for the well wishes...
Chloe
Posted by Ritch on September 6, 2002, at 23:57:06
In reply to Re: ECT-I am starting to feel better..., posted by Chloe on September 6, 2002, at 18:34:20
This is the end of the thread.
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