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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sweetmarie on August 20, 2001, at 5:45:45
Hi
Some of you will be aware of my situation - I left hospital after a long admission (4 months), and have done something of a nose-dive, having improved somewhat whilst I was in hospital.
I think that quite apart from the huge `wrench` from hospital to living alone, there are other factors helping to keep my mood low. None of the things that I had tried to get into place for post-discharge have worked out. The day-centre won`t take me on as a member until they have assessed me in 3 weeks time; the CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) has assessed me, but won`t be back to me with an `answer` for another 3 weeks, and the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) will not start til October. So, the structure that I knew to be so important has not materialised.
As a result I`ve become convinced that I have missed the boat, and will inevitably return to `before`. However, I`m really trying to challenge this ... Not easy.
The only self-help book that I`ve ever rated is called `Self Help For Your Nerves`, published in 1962, when the term `nervous breakdown` was still in use. It`s very dated in lots of ways, but is really `no-nonsense` and completely brilliant. It was written by an Australian doctor (Dr Claire Weekes), and sold loads and loads of copies. Anyway, this is a passage from it:
"The road to recovery is beset with many temporary failures. It is like travelling across the foothills toward the mountains. You travel downhill so often that it is difficult to realize that, in spite of this, you are still climbing. This up and down aspect of recovery is exhausting and frustrating ... It is true that just when you think you have turned the corner and are feeling well, you can have one of your worst setbacks. You can waste much energy trying to discover why this happens. It may have been some trivial event that drew (the sufferer) back, but is it so important to find out?
The slipping back process is easy to understand. The past holds so many fearful memories for the (sufferer), even a slight setback will find a host of them ready to engulf him. It takes time to dull these memories. But after (the sufferer) has pulled himself out of a few such reverses, he despairs less readily, and confidence grows from each experience ... When you have achieved confidence by your own effort ... No future defeat can quite destroy it."
Just thought I`d share that.
If anyone can give me some words of encouragement, I`d appreciate it - I freely admit to feeling very needy at the minute.
Anna.
Posted by susan C on August 20, 2001, at 13:34:30
In reply to Snail`s Pace, posted by sweetmarie on August 20, 2001, at 5:45:45
Hi Sweet pea,
just checking in and saw your note, I just put one on babbbble social. I appreciate you sharing the quote. I think there is a part of this illness, even when the meds and the medical professionals are working where we have to take over. It is so difficult, as my spouse commented, it is like asking someone with broken legs to walk two miles for help. But we ask our brains every day to help us. Medicine can help us get there, I am sure of it. But our perceptions can confuse us. I am still running in circles, but your post brought my head up, thanks
wind up mouse
(Susan C)
>
> Some of you will be aware of my situation - I left hospital after a long admission (4 months), and have done something of a nose-dive, having improved somewhat whilst I was in hospital.
>
> I think that quite apart from the huge `wrench` from hospital to living alone, there are other factors helping to keep my mood low. None of the things that I had tried to get into place for post-discharge have worked out. The day-centre won`t take me on as a member until they have assessed me in 3 weeks time; the CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) has assessed me, but won`t be back to me with an `answer` for another 3 weeks, and the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) will not start til October. So, the structure that I knew to be so important has not materialised.
>
> As a result I`ve become convinced that I have missed the boat, and will inevitably return to `before`. However, I`m really trying to challenge this ... Not easy.
>
> The only self-help book that I`ve ever rated is called `Self Help For Your Nerves`, published in 1962, when the term `nervous breakdown` was still in use. It`s very dated in lots of ways, but is really `no-nonsense` and completely brilliant. It was written by an Australian doctor (Dr Claire Weekes), and sold loads and loads of copies. Anyway, this is a passage from it:
>
> "The road to recovery is beset with many temporary failures. It is like travelling across the foothills toward the mountains. You travel downhill so often that it is difficult to realize that, in spite of this, you are still climbing. This up and down aspect of recovery is exhausting and frustrating ... It is true that just when you think you have turned the corner and are feeling well, you can have one of your worst setbacks. You can waste much energy trying to discover why this happens. It may have been some trivial event that drew (the sufferer) back, but is it so important to find out?
>
> The slipping back process is easy to understand. The past holds so many fearful memories for the (sufferer), even a slight setback will find a host of them ready to engulf him. It takes time to dull these memories. But after (the sufferer) has pulled himself out of a few such reverses, he despairs less readily, and confidence grows from each experience ... When you have achieved confidence by your own effort ... No future defeat can quite destroy it."
>
> Just thought I`d share that.
>
> If anyone can give me some words of encouragement, I`d appreciate it - I freely admit to feeling very needy at the minute.
>
> Anna.
Posted by shelliR on August 20, 2001, at 15:04:03
In reply to Snail`s Pace, posted by sweetmarie on August 20, 2001, at 5:45:45
Hi Anna,
I wish you lived on this side of the ocean, so I could help you paint your kitchen and bath.
Total bummer that the things you've planned are taking so long to materialize. The second time I decided to go into the hospital (the first being over ten years previously), I was totally petrified because my first experience was so so horrible. So of course, I after I finally made up my mind okay, I cannot stay alive any other way, they have no beds open. Then everyday for ten days they tell me they'll have a bed the next day, and the next day same thing. I went up from 20mg to 30mg of valium in just ten days because the waiting time made me so anxious. Then they wanted to work on valium addiction ! :-)
I think it's really bad that these things were not in place for you when you are making such a dramatic transition. But you will get through; they just never try to make things easier for you (maybe easier for them). Are you still going to be working with a doctor long distance from the hospital, or one in your community? The more contacts you have when you are waiting for things to fall into place, the better. But I'm sure, you will even out, and get at least to the place where you left the hospital, if not even further along. Ten days feels like a long time now, but probably only eight more to go. Distract, distract, distract.
I had a horrible time with depression last week and weekend and sleep a lot, only I love tennis, so I watched every tennis match on television. Maybe your dad can help you with painting. People can sometimes pull more energy out than you can yourself. But we gentle with yourself until the program is open. If you feel like watching television and sleeping, I think that is okay, because it is very hard to wait. Any other family members who could go to a movie with you, or take walks? Just do whatever you can and once you get into the program, I think things will look up.
Hang in there, Shelli
Posted by sweetmarie on August 21, 2001, at 9:25:51
In reply to wind up mouse, posted by susan C on August 20, 2001, at 13:34:30
> Hi Sweet pea,
>
> just checking in and saw your note, I just put one on babbbble social. I appreciate you sharing the quote. I think there is a part of this illness, even when the meds and the medical professionals are working where we have to take over. It is so difficult, as my spouse commented, it is like asking someone with broken legs to walk two miles for help. But we ask our brains every day to help us. Medicine can help us get there, I am sure of it. But our perceptions can confuse us. I am still running in circles, but your post brought my head up, thanks
>
> wind up mouse
>
> (Susan C)I think you`re right - medication can only do so much. This isn`t to dismiss it - on the contrary, I think it`s completely essential.
But over time, depression inevitably instills a very negative way of thinking. Obviously, the longer we are depressed, and the more treatment failures we experience, the more negative and hopeless we become. So, when we do have a good day (or days), or achieve something that we couldn`t previously do, we don`t tend to give ourselves any credit - we just think it`s what we *should* have been doing all along. Also, there is always more than one outcome of a situation, i.e. with depression, it can a)get worse, b) stay the same, or c) get better. On the whole, I`d be tempted to say that - rationally - it will always improve, it`s just the `when` that is unknown. But, given these alternatives, a depressed person (I`m generalising here, but I think it`s fairly typical) will choose the worst outcome. It`s like if you get into a car to make a journey - you pretty much assume that a) you won`t make any mistakes, b) the other drivers will not make any mistakes, and therefore c) you won`t have an accident. So, why do we assume the worst with depression? Well, it`s because of depression - but you know what I mean.
There you go - I`m great on theory, but ... not so good when it comes to putting it all into practice. Still, I haven`t given up yet, so I must have SOME hope.
Anyway, glad you liked the passage.
Love,
Anna.
Posted by sweetmarie on August 21, 2001, at 9:36:27
In reply to Re: Snail`s Pace » sweetmarie, posted by shelliR on August 20, 2001, at 15:04:03
> Hi Anna,
>
> I wish you lived on this side of the ocean, so I could help you paint your kitchen and bath.- I wish you did. I might get something done! >
> Total bummer that the things you've planned are taking so long to materialize. The second time I decided to go into the hospital (the first being over ten years previously), I was totally petrified because my first experience was so so horrible. So of course, I after I finally made up my mind okay, I cannot stay alive any other way, they have no beds open. Then everyday for ten days they tell me they'll have a bed the next day, and the next day same thing. I went up from 20mg to 30mg of valium in just ten days because the waiting time made me so anxious. Then they wanted to work on valium addiction ! :-)
What a nightmare! I assume that you got a bed in the end? How long was the stay? Did it help? >
> I think it's really bad that these things were not in place for you when you are making such a dramatic transition. But you will get through; they just never try to make things easier for you (maybe easier for them). Are you still going to be working with a doctor long distance from the hospital, or one in your community? The more contacts you have when you are waiting for things to fall into place, the better. But I'm sure, you will even out, and get at least to the place where you left the hospital, if not even further along. Ten days feels like a long time now, but probably only eight more to go. Distract, distract, distract.
I have an out-patient appointment with my psychiatrist at the end of Sept, and one with the prof in October. As for the other support, it`s a case of waiting. This is what I`m bothered about - the one time that I`ve actually accepted that I need to keep to routines and structure etc, it`s not there (despite my efforts). I suppose that I`m worried about losing what I`ve gained (not much, but it was some). >
> I had a horrible time with depression last week and weekend and sleep a lot, only I love tennis, so I watched every tennis match on television. Maybe your dad can help you with painting. People can sometimes pull more energy out than you can yourself. But we gentle with yourself until the program is open. If you feel like watching television and sleeping, I think that is okay, because it is very hard to wait. Any other family members who could go to a movie with you, or take walks? Just do whatever you can and once you get into the program, I think things will look up.
I`m sorry that you had a bad weekend. Did the tennis help? I actually watched Wimbledon this year, and found that I`d forgotten how good it can be. My dad said that he`ll help me with the decorating - which is just as well, as I don`t know one end of a paintbrush from another. Also, mum and I have agreed to walk round the lake in our local park once a day. I don`t really feel like doing either thing (painting or walking) - just feel like sleeping and feeling crappy. However, I know that activity is important - even if it is a chore at the minute.
Thanks again for replying to another of my posts. You`re a real diamond (as they say over here). >
Hang in yourself.
Love,
Anna.
Posted by susan C on August 21, 2001, at 11:16:09
In reply to Re: Snail`s Pace » shelliR, posted by sweetmarie on August 21, 2001, at 9:36:27
> > Hi Anna,
> >
> > I wish you lived on this side of the ocean, so I could help you paint your kitchen and bath.
>
> - I wish you did. I might get something done! >
>
> > Total bummer that the things you've planned are taking so long to materialize. The second time I decided to go into the hospital (the first being over ten years previously), I was totally petrified because my first experience was so so horrible. So of course, I after I finally made up my mind okay, I cannot stay alive any other way, they have no beds open. Then everyday for ten days they tell me they'll have a bed the next day, and the next day same thing. I went up from 20mg to 30mg of valium in just ten days because the waiting time made me so anxious. Then they wanted to work on valium addiction ! :-)
>
> What a nightmare! I assume that you got a bed in the end? How long was the stay? Did it help? >
>
> > I think it's really bad that these things were not in place for you when you are making such a dramatic transition. But you will get through; they just never try to make things easier for you (maybe easier for them). Are you still going to be working with a doctor long distance from the hospital, or one in your community? The more contacts you have when you are waiting for things to fall into place, the better. But I'm sure, you will even out, and get at least to the place where you left the hospital, if not even further along. Ten days feels like a long time now, but probably only eight more to go. Distract, distract, distract.
>
> I have an out-patient appointment with my psychiatrist at the end of Sept, and one with the prof in October. As for the other support, it`s a case of waiting. This is what I`m bothered about - the one time that I`ve actually accepted that I need to keep to routines and structure etc, it`s not there (despite my efforts). I suppose that I`m worried about losing what I`ve gained (not much, but it was some). >
>
> > I had a horrible time with depression last week and weekend and sleep a lot, only I love tennis, so I watched every tennis match on television. Maybe your dad can help you with painting. People can sometimes pull more energy out than you can yourself. But we gentle with yourself until the program is open. If you feel like watching television and sleeping, I think that is okay, because it is very hard to wait. Any other family members who could go to a movie with you, or take walks? Just do whatever you can and once you get into the program, I think things will look up.
>
> I`m sorry that you had a bad weekend. Did the tennis help? I actually watched Wimbledon this year, and found that I`d forgotten how good it can be. My dad said that he`ll help me with the decorating - which is just as well, as I don`t know one end of a paintbrush from another. Also, mum and I have agreed to walk round the lake in our local park once a day. I don`t really feel like doing either thing (painting or walking) - just feel like sleeping and feeling crappy. However, I know that activity is important - even if it is a chore at the minute.
>
> Thanks again for replying to another of my posts. You`re a real diamond (as they say over here). >
>
> Hang in yourself.
>
> Love,
>
> Anna.Sweet treat,
Remember, even though snails go slowly, the french say they are a gourmet treat and when they walk/slime, they leave a trail, that when it dries it is all sparkly and clear.
I have never had escargot, have you?
Just your train of thought resident mouse.
This is the end of the thread.
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