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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dubya on March 25, 2001, at 20:35:50
Just thought I'd mention that... I ramble in this message board, tying it up, I want attention for some unknown reason to me.
Usually I take my prescribed dose of medication as prescribed but, out of the 3.5 months I've been taking it, I've doubled the dose on 4 occasions spanning over a 100 day period, and just this evening I tripled it. Why, I don't know, I've never ever abused a substance before and I put a light 2" scratch on my wrist w/an wallpaper knife.
Posted by phillybob on March 26, 2001, at 7:02:54
In reply to I SUCK, posted by Dubya on March 25, 2001, at 20:35:50
Hey, Dubya, hope you slept well, at least. :)
Guess, the regulars (which I suppose I am now, too) were all asleepin' when you posted.
Anyway, you know the drill. Smack yourself in the face and call your pdoc and/or a hotline.
You see, we do care. It's okay to want attention for no apparent reason. Heck, we all do ... and that is what, quite frankly, I'm doing by posting probably most times, as well. It's only natural. We just have different ways of calling out and different writing skills, styles and ideas for proper content of posts. But, the differences are a good thing and that's what makes this board just right ... rambling posts and all!
Gee, I hope someone else posts soon but...
Why don't you just post back with an update that, we hope, is not quite so SUCKY. Thanks you, Mr. (?) Dubya.
Posted by Christina on March 26, 2001, at 10:17:10
In reply to I SUCK, posted by Dubya on March 25, 2001, at 20:35:50
> Just thought I'd mention that... I ramble in this message board, tying it up, I want attention for some unknown reason to me.
I'm sorry your gripped by a period of self-hatred. That happens to me sometimes too. A few weeks ago, I posted with the headline.. "I hate myself today."
I was looking for attention too, and I got some responses that validated that it's OK to feel crappy, and that this too shall pass.I have made superficial "cuts" on my wrist before. It's physical respsonse to mental anquish, but not necessarily a need to kill myself. I'ts strange and difficult to explain, but it usually passes after I get involved in some distracting activity.
But if the feeling becomes overwhelming and you feel the need to really hurt your self, please seek emergency care.
We all care about on this board. So seek all the attention you need, we'll be here.
Posted by Noa on March 26, 2001, at 12:00:29
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by Christina on March 26, 2001, at 10:17:10
Just want to chime in to agree that you should call your pdoc.
If you are needing attention, that is ok!
I hope that you can feel ok asking for it, instead of taking risks that could hurt you.
Be honest with your pdoc about the scratching, and about the extra meds. Maybe these behaviors are trying to speak out for you that you need more support.
Hang in there.
Posted by Dubya on March 26, 2001, at 14:22:21
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by Noa on March 26, 2001, at 12:00:29
Actually, I am embarrassed to ask for help because, I know that I will say something stupid so I'd rather keep to myself or speak ambiguously.
Posted by Dubya on March 26, 2001, at 14:30:08
In reply to I SUCK, posted by Dubya on March 25, 2001, at 20:35:50
I JUST SUCK because, I am different, I say really stupid things for someone who is mature or for that matter immature. People think I suck, I get used to being used or at least feeling that way, I can't stick up for myself and so on. I took 6 pills (60mg) instead of the prescribed 20mg and I've never felt so good in ages, I am quiet (even more shy) but more in control of myself. I don't know what am I supposed to say to my doc or pdoc that 60mg is actually helping me w/my anxiety. 60mg on that 1 night and, today I have had no side effects so far. I just feel today that I should be left alone and don't want anyone around me today. I don't know how long this 'isolation' thing will last but whatever works.
Posted by jcrayon on March 28, 2001, at 12:22:58
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by Dubya on March 26, 2001, at 14:22:21
I must have missed something...
what is it you are taking?
Posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 15:22:11
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by jcrayon on March 28, 2001, at 12:22:58
> I must have missed something...
>
> what is it you are taking?I am taking Clomipramine (Anafranil) 20mg nightly.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on March 28, 2001, at 16:09:00
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 15:22:11
20 mg is a very low dose of clomipramine, I'm pretty sure.
> I must have missed something...
> >
> > what is it you are taking?
>
> I am taking Clomipramine (Anafranil) 20mg nightly.
Posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 23:29:46
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by PhoenixGirl on March 28, 2001, at 16:09:00
I OD'd on Sat. by taking 6pills. I am so tempted to do it again b/c, I am frustrated w/myself or my progress in life or whatever. I know I am not the only person out there suffering from mental illness but, to have to cope w/it is unbearably tiring. I am at the point where, I don't ever remembering being GOOD at ANYTHING and that I AM BLAMING myself for everything without excuse, I don't know how to deal with myself b/c, I always say stupid things or rather, I am afraid to say stupid things. > 20 mg is a very low dose of clomipramine, I'm pretty sure.
Posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 23:32:32
In reply to Re: I SUCK, posted by PhoenixGirl on March 28, 2001, at 16:09:00
I still don't realize how valuable my existence is, people really like me left, right and centre yet, I think I am a JOKE. I may be SMART or STUPID but, I RARELY seem to BE ABLE to APPLY MYSELF TO ANYTHING REQUIRING EFFORT/FOCUS. ARGH, I am complaining like a SPOILED BRAT but, I don't UNDERSTAND why I AM NEVER SUCCESSFUL in ANY WAY. SUCCESS not meaning money but rather, PROGRESS. I am screwed, I can't tell my doc that I am trying to hurt myself by hurting my wrists or taking more meds but yet, I want to get better, I don't know what I AM doing to myself. I bet you that NOBODY is the MESSAGE BOARD wants to be me. I have a family living in a nice home, driving really nice cars, me living like a "BRAT" and I don't want to have that image so I work my but off to tell myself that I can do things for myself yet, I am SCREWED IN THE HEAD.
Posted by blackjack on March 29, 2001, at 18:01:22
In reply to Re:low dose? How do I tell my Doc ? 2/2 sorry-long, posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 23:32:32
You don't suck and you're not a joke. You're just very obviously suffering from depression. So are most of us. Welcome aboard!
You need to talk to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with saying, "This dose isn't alleviating my depression. Can we try more, or something else?" In fact, you HAVE to. Your doctor is never going to know whether you are getting better or not unless you tell him. If the Anafranil at that dose isn't helping after 3 months, you NEED to adjust the dose or try another drug. But talk to your doctor. That's what they're there for.
It does get better. I know you probably can't wrap your brain around it right now, but it does.
Posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 0:16:05
In reply to Re:low dose? How do I tell my Doc ? 2/2 sorry-long, posted by blackjack on March 29, 2001, at 18:01:22
Thanks Blackjack, I hope u are right! I or this illness is 'killing' me.
Plz wish me luck.
> You don't suck and you're not a joke. You're just very obviously suffering from depression. So are most of us. Welcome aboard!
>
> You need to talk to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with saying, "This dose isn't alleviating my depression. Can we try more, or something else?" In fact, you HAVE to. Your doctor is never going to know whether you are getting better or not unless you tell him. If the Anafranil at that dose isn't helping after 3 months, you NEED to adjust the dose or try another drug. But talk to your doctor. That's what they're there for.
>
> It does get better. I know you probably can't wrap your brain around it right now, but it does.
This is the end of the thread.
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