![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 44 to 68 of 133. Go back in thread:
Posted by Lorraine on March 15, 2001, at 9:45:54
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression - Scott » sweetmarie, posted by SLS on March 14, 2001, at 22:44:38
I've been enjoying your dialog. I'm sure it's a flea on an elephant's ass, but I just finished reading a really good book on depression, actually two. The first is "The Brain Wellness Plan" by Lombard and the second is "The Antidepressant Survival Guide by Edaya. Both books are by physicians and both are well researched with extensive footnotes. The are about the nutritional weaknesses that may be contributing to our illness. They don't seek to replace the drugs that we need, they want to augment them with good dietary protocol and suggest various tests to tease out conditions that mimic depression. These books are great. I highly recommend them. (So you get the background I too have treatment resistant major depression and I have read roughly 40 books on my condition--these are the two I recommend.)
Scott, shouldn't you be in the world book of records or something?
Posted by sweetmarie on March 15, 2001, at 12:44:29
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression - Scott » sweetmarie, posted by SLS on March 14, 2001, at 22:44:38
Scott,
>
>
> > I`m glad to have been of some use. Like you, I can`t afford to rule anything out (if that`s what you were saying).
>
> Yup. That's the story.>
> > I`ve been very severely depressed for about 3 years, with all the stuff that goes with that (inability to work, have a social life, carry on any meaningful relationships with friends, etc.)>
> Yup. I know this story too. I am sorry that you had to tell it.
>> > Nobody in my family has ever been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and it has certainly never been suggested to me that I may have it.
>
> The reason I asked is because you having been taking two "mood-stabilizers", Lamictal (lamotrigine) and Epilim (valproate). This is a strategy that is generally associated with bipolar disorder rather than unipolar major depression. I am very interested to know how critical a role both play in getting you well.I know that both Epilim and Lamotragine are mood stabilisers, and to be quite honest, I`m not entirely sure why I am taking both. As I said, there has never been a hint from any doctor that my condition might be Bipolar. The Epilim replaced Lithium as an `augmentation`, and the Lamotragine was prescribed about 6 months later. The ony reason that I was prescribed Lamotragine was that another of my psychiatrist`s patients had read of it on the Net. She had tried it, and it had worked miracles. So, this is the only basis for me going onto Lamotragine (this previous patient was the first person that my psychiatrist had ever used Lamotragine with). Although my consultant psychiatrist is very good at her job (and I both like and trust her), she only has limited knowledge of resistant depression, and I have proved to be a very difficult case. I think basically, she was clutching at straws, and this combination (Epilim, Lamotragine, Trimipramine and Phenelzine) was more of a `mish-mash` than anything else. It was when this failed to work that she referred me to the specialist (who has subsequently assessed me, given me a diagnosis, and I will be under his care when I go into his hospital - not my local one - in about a months time. I guess that this answers your question about the Epilim/Lactimal combination (i.e. it didn`t help me at all, but a) I was on a very small dose of Lactimal (25 mg, which will now be going up to 250 mg), and b) these treatments are very individual (what didn`t work for me, may work for you).
>
> > The only other person I know of who suffers at all from depression is my sister, who gets mild depression for short periods, and are adequately treated with a short course of anti-depressants. Her low moods are `reactive` though, unlike my illness which is genetically based,
>
> Just for the sake of extending understanding, and not as an attempt at diagnosis, all of the features you described above can be symptoms of a "soft" bipolar presentation. My sister has followed exactly the same scenario, her bipolarity being evidenced by a hypomania induced by Nardil, an MAO-inhibitor antidepressant. Bipolar disorders are extremely heritable (genetic) and very often appear among siblings, although not necessarily to the same degree.
>
> > and I`ve suffered to differing degrees (from moderate to severe) most of my life.
>
> I get pissed whenever I have to read a story like yours. Damn it.Is that because you`ve had a similar experience? From what you`ve said, it sounds like it.
>
> > She has a very stressful job - she`s a psychiatric nurse (enough said, probably).
>
> Again, for the sake of understanding, stress can precipitate an episode of an otherwise dormant bipolar illness. This also true of many other mental illnesses. A mild episode can remit spontaneously if the stress is removed or mitigated. I have seen this happen with my sister over the last six months. Thus, episodic mild depressions are no less facilitated via a genetic terrain than are chronic and severe presentations.The problem here is that I know for a fact that my sister would in no way welcome any queries as to her mental health. I have asked in the past, but she keeps this kind of thing very much to herself. >
> > Re. discontinuing Nardil in order to start on Venlafaxine, you`re right - there should be a certain gap (about a week, I believe) before Venlafaxine can be commenced. Having said that, a friend of mine has just cganged from Nardil to Vanlafaxine, and her psychiatrist has overlapped the two. I don`t think that she`s suffered any side effects from this - apart from the severe depression she has been experiencing for slightly longer than me (we are quite a comfort to each other). This isn`t the `correct` way to do it, I`m sure though.
>
> All I can say is that I know of no way to confidently predict which people will experience a life-threatening reaction to such a combination and which will not. Once upon a time, in an act of desperation, I decided to take a nibble off a small piece of venlafaxine (Effexor) to see how it would react with the Parnate I was taking. Within ten or fifteen minutes, I experienced vertigo and I had to lay down. I couldn't get myself to sit up in bed. I became incoherent and hardly knew where I was. I made no sense at all when speaking to my parents. I told them not to worry about me, that I understood what I did wrong, and that I simply had to reboot the system. No problem.> > I can't emphasize enough what a tiny amount of Effexor I bit off. Because of its short half-life, I chose Effexor purposely to test for the potential of developing serotonin syndrome when combining a serotonin reuptake inhibitor with an MAOI. If something went wrong, it should dissipate relatively quickly. It did. So did my notions of trying it ever again.
>
> > Good luck with the Trimpramine (if you choose to take it).
>
> > How long have you been depressed?
>
> With the exception of a 6-month remission brought about by a combination of antidepressants, 24 years.What happened after the 6 month remission - did you discontinue the treatment, or did the effect simply wear off? 24 years is a long time - has it been severe ALL that time? How old are you? Mind you, I don`t really remember a time when I wasn`t depressed, and I`m 34 now.
>
> > Is it moderate/severe?
>
> Severe. (I have been accused of being overly proud of this).
>
> It was an honor to be assessed as being the most severely depressed research patient enrolled at the NIH during my nine-month stay there. Although there was this one guy who was an ultra rapid-cycler whose depressed state during the first three to six hours following a switch into his depressive phase seemed worse than mine. I envied him, though. After three days of depression, he would swing into a controllable hypomania that would last for eight. Gosh, what I could accomplish in eight days out of every eleven...What do your psych doctors say about your situation? Do they encourage you and say that there will be a `right medication` or `right` combination? Are they sympathetic? How long have you been on medication treatment? (I have been on different things for the past 10 years now. Only the very first anti-depressant I ever had worked; that was Dothiepin, which I took for a year and I was 100% well. So well in fact that I stopped taking it, and when the symptoms returned I went back onto it. It didn`t work 2nd time around, and I have been kicking myself ever since for coming off it in the first place). Have you tried ECT? I had 20 sessions during one hospital stay, and it did sod-all to improve my mood. What it did do though, was to totally wipe out my memory of the previous 18 months. Terrific. And what about a specialist - have you ever been referred? Have you asked?
>
> > Whatever, you have all my sympathy - it is truly a hideous illness.
>
> Yup.
>
Well, keep on keeping on (as they say),
>
Anna.
Posted by SLS on March 17, 2001, at 10:32:56
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression » SLS, posted by sweetmarie on March 15, 2001, at 12:44:29
Hi Anna.
> I know that both Epilim and Lamotragine are mood stabilisers, and to be quite honest, I`m not entirely sure why I am taking both. As I said, there has never been a hint from any doctor that my condition might be Bipolar. The Epilim replaced Lithium as an `augmentation`, and the Lamotragine was prescribed about 6 months later. The ony reason that I was prescribed Lamotragine was that another of my psychiatrist`s patients had read of it on the Net. She had tried it, and it had worked miracles. So, this is the only basis for me going onto Lamotragine
I am really interested to know to what extent doctors are having success using lamotrigine in true unipolar depression. I would also like to know if there are differences in the success rate among some of the depressive subtypes: melancholic, atypical, dysthymic, anergic, agitated, and psychotic.
> I think basically, she was clutching at straws, and this combination (Epilim, Lamotragine, Trimipramine and Phenelzine) was more of a `mish-mash` than anything else. It was when this failed to work that she referred me to the specialist (who has subsequently assessed me, given me a diagnosis, and I will be under his care when I go into his hospital - not my local one - in about a months time. I guess that this answers your question about the Epilim/Lactimal combination (i.e. it didn`t help me at all, but a) I was on a very small dose of Lactimal (25 mg, which will now be going up to 250 mg), and b) these treatments are very individual (what didn`t work for me, may work for you).
It is good that your doctors are willing to go to 200mg and higher with lamotrigine right away. Personally, I need 300mg to glean the mild improvement it gives me. Lamotrigine can produce an initial improvement with dosages as low as 25mg, but higher dosages are usually needed to make it stick.
> > > and I`ve suffered to differing degrees (from moderate to severe) most of my life.
> > I get pissed whenever I have to read a story like yours. Damn it.
> Is that because you`ve had a similar experience? From what you`ve said, it sounds like it.
Yes. I get upset whenever I see that someone has to suffer so much depression for so long as to completely destroy their lives in the manner it has destroyed mine. Your description of life with depression is so much like my own. I think I get more pissed reading of someone else's misery that I do for my own.
> > > How long have you been depressed?> > With the exception of a 6-month remission brought about by a combination of antidepressants, 24 years.
> What happened after the 6 month remission - did you discontinue the treatment, or did the effect simply wear off?
I was made well using a combination of antidepressents comprised of Parnate and desipramine (Norpramin). After six months or so of euthymia (good mood), I began to develop a hypomania that continued to develop into a mixed-state or dysphoric psychotic mania. As seems to be common sense, my doctor discontinued the antidepressants and gave me lithium and eventually Klonopin (clonazepam) to relieve the mania. After two months of continued remission without antidepressants, I relapsed. Unfortunately, Prozac had just been approved. I guess my doctor wanted to play with a new toy. It didn't work, although I doubt he would have exceeded a dosage of 20mg. After discontinuing Prozac, my doctor decided to return to Parnate, only without the desipramine. He had some notion that the "terrain" of the brain had changed, and that a combination was not necessary. I imagine he was also reluctant to restart the drug regiment that caused mania. He was too stubborn. He spent almost three months trying to force Parnate to work by changing the dosage up and down. To make a long story short, the original combination never worked again. And thus the continued odyssey...
> 24 years is a long time - has it been severe ALL that time?
Yes. I was a junior in highschool at age 17 when the severe depression swallowed me up. It came over me within an hour. It was as paroxsymal as the mood switches that occur with ultra rapid-cycling presentations. Actually, I displayed a robust ultra rapid cycle that comprised of 8 days of depression followed by 3 days of euthymia, followed by 8 days of depression, etc. The switch from one state to the other occurred over the course of 30 to 45 minutes. So too was my initial switch into severe depression. It is important to note that I experienced episodic mild to moderate depressive episodes beginning at age 10 or 11.
> How old are you?
41 years young.
> Mind you, I don`t really remember a time when I wasn`t depressed,
:-(
> and I`m 34 now.
All the more reason to persevere. You are plenty young enough to have a wonderful life once you find an effective treatment. I remember being told the same thing when I was 34. I thought this was nothing but placating crap. They were right, though. You might feel like you have tried every drug in every possible combination. However, I think you would be surprised at how many different drug combinations and treatment strategies you have left to try. I believe it is logical for you to have real hope. I wish I were able to always believe it for myself. You are not alone, Anna.
> > > Is it moderate/severe?
> > Severe. (I have been accused of being overly proud of this).
> What do your psych doctors say about your situation? Do they encourage you and say that there will be a `right medication` or `right` combination?
After investing 10 years with the same doctor with little success, he helped me find a doctor with more expertise in treatment resistant cases. This new doctor seems optimistic that a we will find combination drug treatment that will work. Unfortunately, he impressed upon me that it might still take quite a bit of time. He didn't characterize what he meant by "quite a bit", and I didn't want to ask. However, I think I have a good chance with this doctor, so long as I don't sabotage his algorithm by making drug changes on my own.
> Are they sympathetic?
My previous doctor was very sympathetic. My new doctor is very empathetic. I feel as if he genuinely understands the painful non-existence that is the depressed state. He called my condition horrendous and unacceptable. He described how I experience life as being sub-human. It feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to not have to convince a doctor just how bad things are for me. When he used the word "horrendous", I couldn't help but let out a huge sigh of relief and then cry.
> How long have you been on medication treatment?
I was first diagnosed in 1982 by a study team at Columbia-Presbyterian in New York. The three doctors with whom I dealt with directly were Michael Liebowitz, Wilma Harrison, and Frederick Quitkin. As they proceeded through different treatments, I responded for a few weeks to imipramine (a tricyclic like dothiepin) and a few days to Parnate. They were a bit surprised that amphetamine put me to sleep. After nine months, they pretty much gave up on me and told me that I should not look forward to getting well, as they believed that I had exhausted their treatment resources. They felt that my best hope was for psychotherapy, two years of which had already proved useless. Since I was a rapid-cycler at the time, and I experienced such amazing, although short lived, response to a few medications. Their conclusions did not make sense to me. I wish that I had knocked on Ronald Fieve's door on the same floor I was being treated to see what he had to say. After all, it was his book "Mood Swing" that allowed me to recognize my disorder in the first place.
****************
> I have been on different things for the past 10 years now. Only the very first anti-depressant I ever had worked; that was Dothiepin, which I took for a year and I was 100% well. So well in fact that I stopped taking it, and when the symptoms returned I went back onto it. It didn`t work 2nd time around, and I have been kicking myself ever since for coming off it in the first place.
You will find the Psycho-Babble board littered with this same scenario. Anyone thinking of discontinuing a successful treatment may want to take the time to evaluate to what degree the details of their case allow for discontinuation with a low risk for relapse. It is a difficult judgment to make, and 20/20 hindsight is enlightening, but not terribly helpful. Some of the factors that enter into making a decision toward long-term treatment are:
1. Early age of onset
2. Chronicity - an extended period of depression.
3. Recurrent - recurrent or multiple episodes of depression.
4. Bipolar disorder
5. Treatment resistance****************
> Have you tried ECT?
Yes. 6 unilateral left treatments followed by 6 to 8 of bilateral treatments. I experienced some relief after the sixth treatment, but that was about it. This was performed in 1991. I have been advised that there have been significant advances in the application of ECT since then, and that my lack of response cannot be extrapolated to the treatments currently used. I once wrote a letter to Dr. Max Fink, a doctor who has devoted much of his career to ECT. This was his opinion as well.
> I had 20 sessions during one hospital stay, and it did not-all to improve my mood. What it did do though, was to totally wipe out my memory of the previous 18 months. Terrific.
Sigh...
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I just don't know what to think about this whole ECT and memory thing.
> And what about a specialist - have you ever been referred? Have you asked?
If you are referring to a specialist in ECT, the answer is no. My current doctor says that he will bring up the issue from time to time, but will not apply any pressure in that direction.
If you are referring to treatment-resistant specialists, I have seen and have been referred to quite a few. I have seen people in New York, Princeton, Boston, and the NIH in Washington D.C. (Bethesda, Maryland). My doctors have also conferred with many of their colleagues along the way. I think I have been pretty lucky to have had my case considered by so many people. Hopefully, there will not be a need for any more. One thing I have been surprised at on Psycho-Babble is to learn just how many good psychiatrist-psychopharmacologists can be found everywhere. New York does not have a lock on expertise. Some really good doctors can be found just around the corner from McDonald's.
> - it is truly a hideous illness.
I figured it was worth printing your quote one more time.
Dear Anna,
I hope you have hope. Like I said before, it is logical that you should. There is so much to be had by just reading about all of the success stories here and the details of what treatments worked. For me, this is the most important function of Psycho-Babble because it shows me just how many possibilities I have not yet encountered or have given serious considration to. There are many, many bright and creative people here who care enough to be willing to share information and personal experiences. Thank you for being one of them.
- Scott
Posted by Lorraine on March 17, 2001, at 11:30:12
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression (long) » sweetmarie, posted by SLS on March 17, 2001, at 10:32:56
I can't tell you how much the message from SLS to sweetmarie touched me. I thank you both. I almost am tempted to print it out and give it to my sister in law who believes that this is all self-indulgence and with a new attitude anything is possible. Something about this exchange really captures what is going on with this disease.
Posted by phillybob on March 17, 2001, at 17:44:10
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by Lorraine on March 17, 2001, at 11:30:12
I agree with Lorraine. Thanks so much for the history, Scott.
How is the rash, Anna (Sweetmarie)?
[The only thing that I'm in disagreement with SLS on is this statement: "It is good that your doctors are willing to go to 200mg and higher with lamotrigine right away." I think considering the information available, as discussed above in this thread, taking such an increase slowly, especially when valproate is also in the body, is prudent.]
Posted by sweetmarie on March 17, 2001, at 18:59:30
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by phillybob on March 17, 2001, at 17:44:10
> I agree with Lorraine. Thanks so much for the history, Scott.
>
> How is the rash, Anna (Sweetmarie)?
>
> [The only thing that I'm in disagreement with SLS on is this statement: "It is good that your doctors are willing to go to 200mg and higher with lamotrigine right away." I think considering the information available, as discussed above in this thread, taking such an increase slowly, especially when valproate is also in the body, is prudent.]Scott,
I feel very deeply about what you said re. your history. Frankly, it`s a load of crap - I can`t say more than that. I know how indescribably awful it is, and you have done very well to have got through in one piece. It`s clear to me that you still have hope - something that is virtually impossible, as I well know.
I have `been there` as they say, and well ... it`s no joke. Thank you for sharing your experience, and also thanks to Lorraine. There are far too many people that see depression as some kind of self-indulgence. Would we be going through it by choice? The notion is absurd. I`ve had people suggest things like `have a holiday`, `have a change of scenery`, or `get out more`. Put me on a tropical island with Robbie Williams, and I`d still feel like s**t. I would really like some of these people to walk in my shoes; just for a short time. `Nightmare` is not a strong enough description.
Anna.
Posted by sweetmarie on March 17, 2001, at 19:02:36
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by phillybob on March 17, 2001, at 17:44:10
> I agree with Lorraine. Thanks so much for the history, Scott.
>
> How is the rash, Anna (Sweetmarie)?Phillybob,
The rash is still the same - no better and no worse. I have since found out that developing a rash can also be a side effect of Nardil (and not a dangerous one). It could be that; I guess I`ll find out when I`m finally off it (Nardil, that is).
Anna >
> [The only thing that I'm in disagreement with SLS on is this statement: "It is good that your doctors are willing to go to 200mg and higher with lamotrigine right away." I think considering the information available, as discussed above in this thread, taking such an increase slowly, especially when valproate is also in the body, is prudent.]
Posted by phillybob on March 18, 2001, at 13:43:18
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by sweetmarie on March 17, 2001, at 19:02:36
> > > The rash is still the same - no better and no worse. I have since found out that developing a rash can also be a side effect of Nardil (and not a dangerous one). It could be that; I guess I`ll find out when I`m finally off it (Nardil, that is).
>
> Anna >
>Hey, Anna, that's good to hear that it has not worsened. As far as the Nardil bein' the culprit, I think there was within the last month a discussion thread on "Nardil rash," so you may be right! (try the search feature, I suppose).
Best wishes.
[And, maybe I'm not the most emoting type of person, but Scott's post did move me and I, too, am amazed that he still troops on with such a positive attitude (which I'm sure, due to the nature of this illness, can waver, at times). I think we all can relate. I suppose that I really come to this board for a more scientific approach to medications which might benefit me. I guess I take it for granted that we all want each other to become euthymic (well, as Scott put it, I think). Scott, assuming you are reading this, it does seem that you WILL find euthymia and sooner than later, judging from your self-understanding of your situation and pairing with a pdoc who also is aware of the nuances of the problem with which you (we) are challenged. I kind of feel in the same boat and my biggest obstacle would be impatience.
And, Anna, I am glad you found this board to springboard yourself into a better understanding of what you might need. I think it is so important to be aware of one's situation and not only to feel a part of the "cure" but to be a part of it/control it (if I make any sense here).
Posted by sweetmarie on March 18, 2001, at 16:13:13
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by phillybob on March 18, 2001, at 13:43:18
> > > > The rash is still the same - no better and no worse. I have since found out that developing a rash can also be a side effect of Nardil (and not a dangerous one). It could be that; I guess I`ll find out when I`m finally off it (Nardil, that is).
> >
> > Anna >
> >
>
> Hey, Anna, that's good to hear that it has not worsened. As far as the Nardil bein' the culprit, I think there was within the last month a discussion thread on "Nardil rash," so you may be right! (try the search feature, I suppose).
>
> Best wishes.
>
> [And, maybe I'm not the most emoting type of person, but Scott's post did move me and I, too, am amazed that he still troops on with such a positive attitude (which I'm sure, due to the nature of this illness, can waver, at times). I think we all can relate. I suppose that I really come to this board for a more scientific approach to medications which might benefit me. I guess I take it for granted that we all want each other to become euthymic (well, as Scott put it, I think). Scott, assuming you are reading this, it does seem that you WILL find euthymia and sooner than later, judging from your self-understanding of your situation and pairing with a pdoc who also is aware of the nuances of the problem with which you (we) are challenged. I kind of feel in the same boat and my biggest obstacle would be impatience.Phillybob
I have, as you said, found a lot of comfort and support from this board. I think that I am lucky (as are all of the people who have responded to my original posting) to have such self-understanding, and ability to have an insight into our different situations/medications etc. When I say `lucky`, what I mean is that there are loads of people `out there` who don`t have this, and just accept unquestioningly any medication(s) given to them by their psychiatrists. It`s those people I feel for most as they are probably the worse off. This also includes those who are too ashamed of the illness to discuss it with their families/partners because they are ashamed and feel themselves `weak`. I think that much effort needs to be made in increasing awareness of mental illness, and removing the stigma attached to it.
Anna.
>
Posted by sweetmarie on March 19, 2001, at 15:50:23
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » phillybob, posted by sweetmarie on March 18, 2001, at 16:13:13
> > > > > The rash is still the same - no better and no worse. I have since found out that developing a rash can also be a side effect of Nardil (and not a dangerous one). It could be that; I guess I`ll find out when I`m finally off it (Nardil, that is).
> > >
> > > Anna >
> > >
> >
> > Hey, Anna, that's good to hear that it has not worsened. As far as the Nardil bein' the culprit, I think there was within the last month a discussion thread on "Nardil rash," so you may be right! (try the search feature, I suppose).
> >
> > Best wishes.Dear All,
I was recently in touch with one of the `experts` at the About.com depression site. I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination in severe resistant cases like mine. He told me that it was, and that it had been known to be successful. HOWEVER, he added that there are those people who unfortunately do no not respond to medication treatment. I have to say that I was shattered by this piece of news. Shattered and completely discouraged. I just feel like giving up now - I feel like I have been on all the medications under the sun already. I`m supposed to be going into hospital in a month in order to get my meds `right`; I just don`t see the point now. I was under the impression that there was something for everyone `out there`. It seems I was wrong.
Just thought I`d pass that on.
Anna.
> >
Posted by phillybob on March 19, 2001, at 18:29:07
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » sweetmarie, posted by sweetmarie on March 19, 2001, at 15:50:23
< < HOWEVER, he added that there are those people who unfortunately do no not respond to medication treatment. I have to say that I was shattered by this piece of news. Shattered and completely discouraged. I just feel like giving up now > >
Hey, Anna! That's no way to post. You have barely even been on this combo! You don't know if it's going to work or not yet. There are, as Scott, indicated (I believe) probably thousands of different combinations ("drug cocktails") which could help. So, if what you are trying does not work, there is always something to try.
BUT, the first thing you need to do is try to BE PATIENT with the combination that you are trying now. I've burned through too many meds and/or combinations too quickly due to my impatience. Follow your doctor's advice. As the About.com expert indicated, the combo that you are on could lead to success. Okay?! Go put some Dylan on and chill out. :)
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2001, at 19:42:11
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » sweetmarie, posted by sweetmarie on March 19, 2001, at 15:50:23
Hi Anna.
Smile.
Smile louder. I can't hear you.
:-)
> I was recently in touch with one of the `experts` at the About.com depression site.O.K...
> I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination in severe resistant cases like mine.
O.K...
> He told me that it was, and that it had been known to be successful.
O.K...
> HOWEVER, he added that there are those people who unfortunately do not respond to medication treatment.
Not O.K.
It is my observation that there is no logical basis to come to this conclusion. If I, or anyone else, can come up with even so much as *one* pharmacological treatment strategy that this expert has not known about or tried on his patients, then the statement "do not respond to medication treatment" cannot be made. Logic dictates this. Logic also dictates that you must exhaust all of the drugs and permutations of drug combinations (hundreds) using all of those that currently exist and will exist in your future before such a statement can be made. Don't forget about a great many drugs that currently exist but have not yet been recognized to be effective for treating depression. Don't forget about the impending discoveries and understandings to how these disorders come to be and how to better choose targets for treatment.
My own experiences, personal observations, and my readings of stories of people on this site are inconsistent with this one particular expert's stated opinion. Opinion.
My doctor has an opinion that differs substantially from the one you received from the About.com expert. It has renewed my hopes of finding a successful treatment.
> I have to say that I was shattered by this piece of news. Shattered and completely discouraged. I just feel like giving up now - I feel like I have been on all the medications under the sun already. I`m supposed to be going into hospital in a month in order to get my meds `right`; I just don`t see the point now.
Before you capitulate to the pessimistic opinion you were offered, try capitulating to the inspiring stories of real people on Psycho-Babble who have found success after so many years of disappointment; people who would have been considered untreatable my many doctors and their expert opinions.
> I was under the impression that there was something for everyone `out there`.
Me too.
> It seems I was wrong.
I am not so sure.
Of course, this is but one man's opinion, given without the recognized expertise to merit its serious consideration. God bless that I remain so mislead by myself.
> Just thought I`d pass that on.
It is good that you did. I am sure you are not the first innocent to be convinced that they have tried all of what modern medicine has to offer.
Continue forward. It will be hard. Your persistence will pay off. The odds are in your favor.
- Scott
Posted by sweetmarie on March 20, 2001, at 14:52:08
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » sweetmarie, posted by SLS on March 19, 2001, at 19:42:11
> Hi Anna.
>
> Smile.
>
> Smile louder. I can't hear you.
>
> :-)
>
>
> > I was recently in touch with one of the `experts` at the About.com depression site.
>
> O.K...
>
> > I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination in severe resistant cases like mine.
>
> O.K...
>
> > He told me that it was, and that it had been known to be successful.
>
> O.K...
>
> > HOWEVER, he added that there are those people who unfortunately do not respond to medication treatment.
>
> Not O.K.
>
> It is my observation that there is no logical basis to come to this conclusion. If I, or anyone else, can come up with even so much as *one* pharmacological treatment strategy that this expert has not known about or tried on his patients, then the statement "do not respond to medication treatment" cannot be made. Logic dictates this. Logic also dictates that you must exhaust all of the drugs and permutations of drug combinations (hundreds) using all of those that currently exist and will exist in your future before such a statement can be made. Don't forget about a great many drugs that currently exist but have not yet been recognized to be effective for treating depression. Don't forget about the impending discoveries and understandings to how these disorders come to be and how to better choose targets for treatment.
>
> My own experiences, personal observations, and my readings of stories of people on this site are inconsistent with this one particular expert's stated opinion. Opinion.
>
> My doctor has an opinion that differs substantially from the one you received from the About.com expert. It has renewed my hopes of finding a successful treatment.
>
> > I have to say that I was shattered by this piece of news. Shattered and completely discouraged. I just feel like giving up now - I feel like I have been on all the medications under the sun already. I`m supposed to be going into hospital in a month in order to get my meds `right`; I just don`t see the point now.
>
> Before you capitulate to the pessimistic opinion you were offered, try capitulating to the inspiring stories of real people on Psycho-Babble who have found success after so many years of disappointment; people who would have been considered untreatable my many doctors and their expert opinions.
>
> > I was under the impression that there was something for everyone `out there`.
>
> Me too.
>
> > It seems I was wrong.
>
> I am not so sure.
>
> Of course, this is but one man's opinion, given without the recognized expertise to merit its serious consideration. God bless that I remain so mislead by myself.
>
> > Just thought I`d pass that on.
>
> It is good that you did. I am sure you are not the first innocent to be convinced that they have tried all of what modern medicine has to offer.
>
> Continue forward. It will be hard. Your persistence will pay off. The odds are in your favor.
>
>
> - ScottDear Scott,
Thanks for your reply; it was really good of you to take the time to write back to me, especially as you probably feel as cruddy as I do. It`s good of you to offer encouragement when I`m sure you feel as much like giving up at times as I do.
I thought very seriously today about phoning my psychiatrist to ask her to cancel my place on the waiting list for this specialist unit. I actually did call her, but there was no reply. I spoke to my sister, who tried to talk me round. She used all the usual words like `optimistic`, `hopeful` etc., but I feel that I`ve heard them all before (and I have heard them all before during all three of my hospital visits). I know that there are no guarantees, and as my sister pointed out, there are no guarantees in life at all. I guess this sounds to me like `no chance, mate`. I do try and stay optimistic, but I also need to be realistic too. I just don`t feel that I can put myself through another failure. I suppose that I`m taking the `innocence is bliss` stance (although of course it most certainly isn`t bliss). There were a couple of people on the last ward I was in, who had been there over a year, and since his (specialist) plan is to keep me `in` until I`m better, I have visions of becoming one of those saddoes. I don`t know ... I know you`re right, but - I just feel like I`ve been kicked in the teeth too many times, and I`m frightened that if this doesn`t work, where next?
I`m sorry to go on and on about it. I expect that I`ll tough it out in the end. I just find it difficult to believe sometimes. Take no notice.
Once again, thanks for your kind and sympathetic message - it was very much appreciated. I hope that you are doing O.K. (or at least as well as can be expected).
Anna.
Posted by Lorraine on March 20, 2001, at 20:52:47
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » SLS, posted by sweetmarie on March 20, 2001, at 14:52:08
{There were a couple of people on the last ward I was in, who had been there over a year, and since his (specialist) plan is to keep me `in` until I`m better, I have visions of becoming one of those saddoes.}
How long does you pdoc tend to keep people in? What's the average? I suspect he wants this so that he can treat you aggressively, changing meds frequently and monitoring the side effects. When people suggest to me that I just "accept" my illness ("So, OK, you can't leave the house. Well, is there a way for you to get comfortable with that and just accept those limitations?") I grit my teeth, then I smile and say sweetly "that's not an option". My depression is hybernation and if I go there and just sit with it for a while it is brain death, slowly but surely all of the lights in my brain go out one by one. So for me there is no other option but to fight the disease everyday whether I feel "optimistic" or not. I fight because there is no other alternative.
Posted by dove on March 22, 2001, at 11:22:10
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie » SLS, posted by sweetmarie on March 20, 2001, at 14:52:08
>
>I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination >in severe resistant >cases like mine.
>There IS help, even if you are losing hope. There have been so many hurting people that have passed through the Psycho-babble door, entering... exiting... some leave well, some do not. We meet people and we share the strategies and the weaponry in order to fight the battle, and hopefully win the war.
Many of us have taken and/or are taking "med cocktails" that may include over 10 different medications. Currently, I'm taking six different meds per day, and yes it can be a pain, but at least I can get up in the morning, smile (and sometimes laugh) with my kids, and I can see a light--not piercingly bright like a searchlight--nevertheless, a light at the end of the tunnel.
I've been fighting depression for nearly 20 years, since childhood, and I've seen those dark corners and I've counted the bricks, waiting and waiting.... For what? For a break in the cycle, for a breath of life-imbuing air, for a victory. And I've won those victories, though they seem less of a victory than merely a reprieve in the glaring light of the bloody battle.
But with each victory I gain another medal, another "win", and I though I must keep fighting, there are respites, of rest and restoration (my own definition of R&R&R). Keep searching for the quickly passing moments of peace, joy or laughter, try not to forget them, they have the power to embolden you and the strength to smack the beast of depression across the side of the head, even if momentarily. The beast will not win. Keep looking for those little holes in beast's dark hide and try to pierce through that tough skin, even for a few minutes, every reprieve should be counted as a victory, really!!!
In no way am I trying to make your pain appear *less* than it is, we hold your journey back to life, love, liberty and health in highest regard. I'm not giving you any concrete advice meds-wise per se, and my message may better suit the Psycho-Social-board but I really want to express to you that there are many more lighthouses on the horizon. They are sounding their foghorns and their revolving beacon awaits your discovery. And if all else fails... Come back here and keep on talking, we are listening!
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers,
dove
Posted by sweetmarie on March 22, 2001, at 14:23:29
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre, Sweetmarie, posted by dove on March 22, 2001, at 11:22:10
> >
> >I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination >in severe resistant >cases like mine.
> >
>
> There IS help, even if you are losing hope. There have been so many hurting people that have passed through the Psycho-babble door, entering... exiting... some leave well, some do not. We meet people and we share the strategies and the weaponry in order to fight the battle, and hopefully win the war.
>
> Many of us have taken and/or are taking "med cocktails" that may include over 10 different medications. Currently, I'm taking six different meds per day, and yes it can be a pain, but at least I can get up in the morning, smile (and sometimes laugh) with my kids, and I can see a light--not piercingly bright like a searchlight--nevertheless, a light at the end of the tunnel.
>
> I've been fighting depression for nearly 20 years, since childhood, and I've seen those dark corners and I've counted the bricks, waiting and waiting.... For what? For a break in the cycle, for a breath of life-imbuing air, for a victory. And I've won those victories, though they seem less of a victory than merely a reprieve in the glaring light of the bloody battle.
>
> But with each victory I gain another medal, another "win", and I though I must keep fighting, there are respites, of rest and restoration (my own definition of R&R&R). Keep searching for the quickly passing moments of peace, joy or laughter, try not to forget them, they have the power to embolden you and the strength to smack the beast of depression across the side of the head, even if momentarily. The beast will not win. Keep looking for those little holes in beast's dark hide and try to pierce through that tough skin, even for a few minutes, every reprieve should be counted as a victory, really!!!
>
> In no way am I trying to make your pain appear *less* than it is, we hold your journey back to life, love, liberty and health in highest regard. I'm not giving you any concrete advice meds-wise per se, and my message may better suit the Psycho-Social-board but I really want to express to you that there are many more lighthouses on the horizon. They are sounding their foghorns and their revolving beacon awaits your discovery. And if all else fails... Come back here and keep on talking, we are listening!
>
> I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers,
>
> dove
Dear dove,Thank you for your response to my message. People on this board have been SO good to me ... I don`t really think that I merit such attention. But I certainly welcome it. I`m sorry to hear that you have been poorly for such a long time - I can definitely relate to that. I have been questioning whether or not I should go into hospital at all to receive treatment from this specialist. This is mainly because I don`t know whether I can cope with another knock-back; I`ve been in hospital 3 times already, and each time I was told that I would get better. This didn`t happen on any of the occasions, and I have been left with the same severe depression which totally debilitates and immobilises me. I`m afraid of finding out that I am `incurable` if you see what I mean. This probably sounds like warped logic, I know, but ... well I`m just frightened. I`ve been receiving medication treatment for 10 years now, and none except the first helped (I took this - Dothiepin - for a year, believed myself well, and I WAS well - I`d never felt like that before in my whole life. Having discontinued it, I immediately felt terrible, went back onto it and it failed to work). Since then, nothing has had any effect and my good times are just a few minutes every week (if that). I know that I will go into hospital, because what else is there for me? I just don`t want to reach the `end of the line` and find myself still as ill. Negative thinking, I know. I also know that you are right, this monster cannot win. The only other option is to `exit stage left`, and I know for a fact that I won`t do that.
How long have you been trying medications? Has this combination improved your life significantly (i.e. are you able to function/see friends/go out etc? That`s all I`m asking of a medication really. The rest I can tackle myself (relationships, work, whatever).
Anyway, thanks again for your kind words.
Anna.
Posted by sweetmarie on March 22, 2001, at 14:43:50
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre Scot, Sweetmarie, posted by Lorraine on March 20, 2001, at 20:52:47
> {There were a couple of people on the last ward I was in, who had been there over a year, and since his (specialist) plan is to keep me `in` until I`m better, I have visions of becoming one of those saddoes.}
>
> How long does you pdoc tend to keep people in? What's the average?I honestly don`t know, as I have never been treated by this geezer before. He isn`t my regular psychiatrist - he`s a specialist that I have been referred to by my regular psychiatrist.
I suspect he wants this so that he can treat you aggressively, changing meds frequently and monitoring the side effects.
Yes, I imagine you`re right. Also, experience has shown that major drug changes can leave me practically catatonic, which neither myself nor my family (esp my family) can cope with. They are my main carers, and find it very heavy going and stressful, especially as it` been going on for so long.
When people suggest to me that I just "accept" my illness ("So, OK, you can't leave the house. Well, is there a way for you to get comfortable with that and just accept those limitations?") I grit my teeth, then I smile and say sweetly "that's not an option". My depression is hybernation and if I go there and just sit with it for a while it is brain death, slowly but surely all of the lights in my brain go out one by one. So for me there is no other option but to fight the disease everyday whether I feel "optimistic" or not. I fight because there is no other alternative.I know exactly what you mean. People have suggested that I accept the way that I am, and live my life around it. As you said, this simply is not an option. I have virtually no contact with friends (and haven`t had for over 3 years), I have no social life, I rarely get out of the flat, and frankly this is not acceptable to me. Up until 3 years ago I worked, which was a daily struggle, but I managed it by the skin of my teeth. It`s been said to me `well, you used to work`, or `you used to get out and socialise`. This is certainly true, but it all felt like climbing Mount Everest in bare feet and carrying a 10 ton back-pack. I`d put on my `mask`, act as though I was perfectly O.K., and I pulled it off very well. Inside, however, I was totally crippled with pain and used to get home, fall on my bed and just cry and cry. The pain now is unbearable, and just hideous. But, like you, I keep on going (despite my protestations to the contrary), and will continue to do so. I must have some resolve there somewhere even though I don`t feel it. This specialist reckons on getting me well in about a `year or so` (quote). I only wish I could believe that. But I know that I`ll try, because as you said, there really is no alternative (well, there is one, but I`m certainly NOT going there).
All good things,
Anna.
Posted by sweetmarie on March 23, 2001, at 4:35:21
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression » sweetmarie, posted by JahL on March 9, 2001, at 13:03:13
> > I suffer from (severe chronic `double`) depression, which has proved VERY difficult to treat (I`ve had Tricyclics, SSRIs, an MAOI (Nardil), ECT, Maclobomide, Reboxetine, L-Tryptophan, Venlafaxine, and different permutations. I am currently on Nardil, Trimipramine, Lamotragine and Epilim to no effect). I`ve been referred to a specialist in `difficult to treat depression`, who plans to put me onto Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and increase the dose of Lamotragine. I don`t really know why I am posting this message; I guess that I was wondering whether anyone else out there has had similar difficulties (I have been going through a major depressive episode for the past 6/7 years now, which has been severe over the past 3. Has anyone `been` where I am now? Any success stories? Or even partial success stories? I am very ill at the minute, and feel extremely hopeless - something which grows more with every treatment failure. I have had different kinds of `talking` therapy over the past 9 years, and hope to be well enough at some stage to do CBT. Can anyone help?
>
> Hi there.
> Like yourself I'm UK with treatment-resistant double depression (+ADD+social phobia...). I've had high-dose trials of all the meds you mention, & many more besides. All w/out significant success...that was until I started Lamotrigine just over 2 wks ago. I'm only just up to 37.5mg but already the improvement has been dramatic (see 'BIPOLAR EXPERT' thread 4 details).
>
> At yr current 25mg dose I can almost *guarantee* (tho' definitely no expert) you won't feel significant remission of yr depression. The proposed 250mg will give Lamotrigine scope to work it's magic (I'm biased).
>
> You are fortunate to have found such a forward-thinking UK pdoc-I can't even find one to prescribe Lamotr. monotherapy, let alone such 'power combos'. I have to order mine from abroad (tut,tut,eh steve?). It's just a shame you have to reside in hospital.
>
> I have high hopes for the Lamotrigine (which has the most anti-depressive profile of the mood-stabilizers); you may even find the Venlafaxine+Mirtazapine become/are redundant! Your doc sounds like he knows what he's doing.
>
> Good Luck,
> Jah.Jah,
I`m sorry to bug you. You mentioned Lactimal working it`s `magic` - does this mean that it has had an effect, or just that you are expecting it to?
I am now on 200 mg (since March 18th - 6 days now), and so far I don`t feel a thing. Do you reckon it`s too early to know? The intended dose that I`m aiming for is 250 mg, but I`m leaving that until I go into Hospital in 3 weeks or so. Am I being impatient? (I expect I am, only I`m just so ill).
Again, sorry to hassle you (you don`t have to answer this if you don`t want to).
Cheers,
Anna.
Posted by JahL on March 23, 2001, at 11:47:53
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression » JahL, posted by sweetmarie on March 23, 2001, at 4:35:21
> > > I've had high-dose trials of all the meds you mention, & many more besides. All w/out significant success...that was until I started Lamotrigine just over 2 wks ago. I'm only just up to 37.5mg but already the improvement has been dramatic (see 'BIPOLAR EXPERT' thread 4 details).
> > >At yr current 25mg dose I can almost *guarantee* (tho' definitely no expert) you won't feel significant remission of yr depression. The proposed 250mg will give Lamotrigine scope to work it's magic (I'm biased).
> > >You are fortunate to have found such a forward-thinking UK pdoc-I can't even find one to prescribe Lamotr. monotherapy, let alone such 'power combos'. I have to order mine from abroad (tut,tut,eh steve?). It's just a shame you have to reside in hospital.
> > >I have high hopes for the Lamotrigine (which has the most anti-depressive profile of the mood-stabilizers); you may even find the Venlafaxine+Mirtazapine become/are redundant!
> I`m sorry to bug you. You mentioned Lactimal working it`s `magic` - does this mean that it has had an effect, or just that you are expecting it to?HI Anna.
The 'magic' I speak of refers to sporadic rpts I have read of Lamotrigine vanquishing resistant depression where all else had failed. Of course these give no guarantee.
I'm only on 67.5mg but already there are robust improvements in cognition, co-ordination & social phobia. No great improvement in mood but that generally requires higher doses (which I'm building up to).
> I am now on 200 mg (since March 18th - 6 days now), and so far I don`t feel a thing. Do you reckon it`s too early to know? The intended dose that I`m aiming for is 250 mg, but I`m leaving that until I go into Hospital in 3 weeks or so. Am I being impatient? (I expect I am, only I`m just so ill).If you're impatient then so am I; this cautious upwards titration goes against my nature.
250 sounds like a good dose if it's the only anti-convulsant you're taking. I have read that for some a *month+* @ therapeutic doses is required for a response. I think there's a lot of guesswork involved since Lamotrigine's use in mood disorders is a fairly recent development.
> Again, sorry to hassle you (you don`t have to answer this if you don`t want to).
No worries!
J.
Posted by judy1 on March 23, 2001, at 12:44:29
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression-Lamictal » sweetmarie, posted by JahL on March 23, 2001, at 11:47:53
I've probably written this before, if so please forgive me. The STEP-BD group I am working with have said they have had their greatest success with lamictal in the 200-400mg range (as monotherapy)in bipolar depression and stabilization for treatment resistant rapid cyclers. They are about to publish their findings. When I told the treating psychiatrist that I had a manic episode at 125mg- his response was I was not on a high enough dose. I am now on 100mg, still very depressed but agitated which we attributed to the risperdal I was taking. (Also on 5mg xanax and 6mg klonopin- you would think I'd be comatose). Anyway I am jumping at 25mg increments (no rashes but some dizziness- if that continues I'll drop to 12.5 increments. I hope all of you see some improvement soon. take care, judy
Posted by JahL on March 23, 2001, at 13:04:50
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depression-Lamictal » JahL, posted by judy1 on March 23, 2001, at 12:44:29
> >. I am now on 100mg, still very depressed but agitated
Me too.
> >which we attributed to the risperdal I was taking. (Also on 5mg xanax and 6mg klonopin- you would think I'd be comatose). Anyway I am jumping at 25mg increments (no rashes but some dizziness- if that continues I'll drop to 12.5 increments. I hope all of you see some improvement soon. take care, judy
Hi Judy.
Just a quickie-is that 25mg *per week* ?
Thanx,
J.
Posted by judy1 on March 23, 2001, at 15:09:40
In reply to Re: Lamictal » judy1, posted by JahL on March 23, 2001, at 13:04:50
Hi,
Yes, 25mg/week- but I see him every week. take care, judy
Posted by dove on March 24, 2001, at 15:26:18
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre, Sweetmarie » dove, posted by sweetmarie on March 22, 2001, at 14:23:29
>
How long have you been trying medications? Has this combination improved your life significantly (i.e. are you able to function/see friends/go out etc? That`s all I`m asking of a medication really. The rest I can tackle myself (relationships, work, whatever).
>I spent much of my childhood and teen-age years self-medicating, except for a stint on Tegretol (AED). I wasn't even prescribed the Tegretol for a mood-disorder but for my fainting/blackout episodes, labeling them seizures. I told doctors that I had depression, and they told me I needed more sunshine (which, looking back, was partially true), and I needed to eat better, needed to gain some weight (wish I had that problem still ;-) needed more vitamin C, more exercise, ect... I also had blinding migraines, still do; however, I now use preventative meds. And it was through my search for migraine relief (and making sure I wasn't having little strokes because I would "faint" or black-out before they came on) that I tried my first med that opened my eyes to an entirely new world that I had only dreamt of.
I was prescribed Verapamil, a calcium-channel blocker used for heart-disease and treating migraines. It was like an OD on beautiful shiny reality, and I was flying. When they felt it was effecting the way my heart beats and causing me to gain weight they moved me to Amitriptyline. The Ami does quell my migraines but I fell into a deep depression after the Verapamil was removed. I kept telling my Internal Medicine Doc, and my other non-specialist doc's that I was depressed and had lost that feeling of being "normal". They all said it would take some time to feel the effects of Amitriptyline and that it was "after-all" an antidepressant!
But I've never been that stable again, nor has the world been that beautiful, alive and real again. I finally received a referral and the permission to see a psych-doc, who dxed me with (in order of importance by his criteria): ADHD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and Rapid Cycling Bi-polar, and I may have forgotten a few. Over time, with different doc's and different dxes, multiple therapists and multiple med trials, I've come to the point where the meds are kind of like a life-preserver in a raging sea, and I have to do some legwork myself to push that life-preserver back to safety. I also know that some meds try to drown me, while others keep me afloat; and that it's really hard to distinguish between the two when you're taking multiple meds.
I have lost contact with all but my very best friend, who lives so far away that we rarely see each other but do talk on the phone every other month or so. I have been bound to the house for some time now, well over five years really. That is, until quite recently. A combination of events and med additions within the last 3-4 months have given me a little more strength, still not what my husband wants to see, but a major step for me.
The primary med that started a slow change and some improvement is Neurontin, and then the addition of Klonopin, and then the addition of low-dose Prozac.
The primary events are my Mom being dxed with Lymphoma and Thyroid cancer, missing my best friend's (who lives far away) marriage this past December and subsequently her Dad being dxed with Leukemia and throat cancer, my childhood and beloved Minister's sudden death at the age of 46, my Aunt's attempted suicide (resulting in hospitalization, ECT, and subsequent recovery); then my eldest son's Grandpa being dxed with cancer in the form of an inoperative and terminal brain tumor (who has a mere three weeks left even though there were no symptoms until last week.), and his Great Grandpa being dxed with Alzheimer's.
So, I still don't want to go outside, or anywhere else, but I do feel more alive. I believe I'm still in the detached-unreality part of real comprehension of the losses. I cried and cried after learning of all and each illness and death, then I became settled enough to speak about these events without falling apart, but deep down there's a lot of fear. I've been writing at P-Babble for over three (1998?) years now, and my presence has been sporadic for the last year or so. I fear writing because all these things and more are wrapped around each other in my heart, soul and mind; and I can't seem to open up without everything surfacing and baring just a little too much flesh, and I then feel vulnerable and overwhelmed resulting in withdrawal once again.
So, after my longgggg sob-story, I think there are meds that can help anyone and everyone at least a little, but it can be a tough journey finding them. Are you struggling with major (double?) depression and one of the anxiety/panic disorders (i.e. agoraphobia)? There are some extremely wise and intelligent, as well as beautiful and kind, people on this board; who share their med/chemical knowledge freely. Sometimes the meds that are "suppose to do the job" don't, and ones that aren't suppose to do the job do indeed do the job.
I'd also be afraid of being in-patient, I was almost committed against my will in December 1999 and I totally freaked. However, if there really wasn't anything but darkness inside of me, and I was really near the end of no turning back, and I had a family whom I loved and who loved me; I would probably check myself in. Remember, there are different strategies and different "experts" all over the world, and though you may feel *this* expert is your last hope, it isn't! I promise you it isn't.
My latest p-doc (also honored with the title "expert") has me taking Adderall, Serzone, Neurontin, Klonopin, Prozac, and Amitriptyline. The combo becomes a little complicated when trying to take 6-8 Neurontin Caplets, 4 Adderall tabs, 4 Serzone Tabs, 3 Klonopin miniature tabs, ect... but the combo is having some beneficial effect, a might bit slow, but better than no!
Don't lose hope, that is probably one of the most important things you need to hold onto, even though it's probably the hardest; after-all, isn't depression all about losing hope. My prayers, thoughts, and hope are with you. I may not post all that often, but I still read, and my eyes and ears will be vigilantly with you on your journey.
dove
Posted by sweetmarie on March 24, 2001, at 18:23:36
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre, [LONG] » sweetmarie, posted by dove on March 24, 2001, at 15:26:18
> >
> How long have you been trying medications? Has this combination improved your life significantly (i.e. are you able to function/see friends/go out etc? That`s all I`m asking of a medication really. The rest I can tackle myself (relationships, work, whatever).
> >
>
> I spent much of my childhood and teen-age years self-medicating, except for a stint on Tegretol (AED). I wasn't even prescribed the Tegretol for a mood-disorder but for my fainting/blackout episodes, labeling them seizures. I told doctors that I had depression, and they told me I needed more sunshine (which, looking back, was partially true), and I needed to eat better, needed to gain some weight (wish I had that problem still ;-) needed more vitamin C, more exercise, ect... I also had blinding migraines, still do; however, I now use preventative meds. And it was through my search for migraine relief (and making sure I wasn't having little strokes because I would "faint" or black-out before they came on) that I tried my first med that opened my eyes to an entirely new world that I had only dreamt of.
>
> I was prescribed Verapamil, a calcium-channel blocker used for heart-disease and treating migraines. It was like an OD on beautiful shiny reality, and I was flying. When they felt it was effecting the way my heart beats and causing me to gain weight they moved me to Amitriptyline. The Ami does quell my migraines but I fell into a deep depression after the Verapamil was removed. I kept telling my Internal Medicine Doc, and my other non-specialist doc's that I was depressed and had lost that feeling of being "normal". They all said it would take some time to feel the effects of Amitriptyline and that it was "after-all" an antidepressant!
>
> But I've never been that stable again, nor has the world been that beautiful, alive and real again. I finally received a referral and the permission to see a psych-doc, who dxed me with (in order of importance by his criteria): ADHD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and Rapid Cycling Bi-polar, and I may have forgotten a few. Over time, with different doc's and different dxes, multiple therapists and multiple med trials, I've come to the point where the meds are kind of like a life-preserver in a raging sea, and I have to do some legwork myself to push that life-preserver back to safety. I also know that some meds try to drown me, while others keep me afloat; and that it's really hard to distinguish between the two when you're taking multiple meds.
>
> I have lost contact with all but my very best friend, who lives so far away that we rarely see each other but do talk on the phone every other month or so. I have been bound to the house for some time now, well over five years really. That is, until quite recently. A combination of events and med additions within the last 3-4 months have given me a little more strength, still not what my husband wants to see, but a major step for me.
>
> The primary med that started a slow change and some improvement is Neurontin, and then the addition of Klonopin, and then the addition of low-dose Prozac.
>
> The primary events are my Mom being dxed with Lymphoma and Thyroid cancer, missing my best friend's (who lives far away) marriage this past December and subsequently her Dad being dxed with Leukemia and throat cancer, my childhood and beloved Minister's sudden death at the age of 46, my Aunt's attempted suicide (resulting in hospitalization, ECT, and subsequent recovery); then my eldest son's Grandpa being dxed with cancer in the form of an inoperative and terminal brain tumor (who has a mere three weeks left even though there were no symptoms until last week.), and his Great Grandpa being dxed with Alzheimer's.
>
> So, I still don't want to go outside, or anywhere else, but I do feel more alive. I believe I'm still in the detached-unreality part of real comprehension of the losses. I cried and cried after learning of all and each illness and death, then I became settled enough to speak about these events without falling apart, but deep down there's a lot of fear. I've been writing at P-Babble for over three (1998?) years now, and my presence has been sporadic for the last year or so. I fear writing because all these things and more are wrapped around each other in my heart, soul and mind; and I can't seem to open up without everything surfacing and baring just a little too much flesh, and I then feel vulnerable and overwhelmed resulting in withdrawal once again.
>
> So, after my longgggg sob-story, I think there are meds that can help anyone and everyone at least a little, but it can be a tough journey finding them. Are you struggling with major (double?) depression and one of the anxiety/panic disorders (i.e. agoraphobia)? There are some extremely wise and intelligent, as well as beautiful and kind, people on this board; who share their med/chemical knowledge freely. Sometimes the meds that are "suppose to do the job" don't, and ones that aren't suppose to do the job do indeed do the job.
>
> I'd also be afraid of being in-patient, I was almost committed against my will in December 1999 and I totally freaked. However, if there really wasn't anything but darkness inside of me, and I was really near the end of no turning back, and I had a family whom I loved and who loved me; I would probably check myself in. Remember, there are different strategies and different "experts" all over the world, and though you may feel *this* expert is your last hope, it isn't! I promise you it isn't.
>
> My latest p-doc (also honored with the title "expert") has me taking Adderall, Serzone, Neurontin, Klonopin, Prozac, and Amitriptyline. The combo becomes a little complicated when trying to take 6-8 Neurontin Caplets, 4 Adderall tabs, 4 Serzone Tabs, 3 Klonopin miniature tabs, ect... but the combo is having some beneficial effect, a might bit slow, but better than no!
>
> Don't lose hope, that is probably one of the most important things you need to hold onto, even though it's probably the hardest; after-all, isn't depression all about losing hope. My prayers, thoughts, and hope are with you. I may not post all that often, but I still read, and my eyes and ears will be vigilantly with you on your journey.
>
> dove
Dear dove,Thank you for sharing all that - you have certainly `been through it` big-time. What are the chances of all those terrible things happening? You`ve certainly been very unlucky (and so have all the people you mention, of course). You`ve shown a lot of strength. I think that is where others (non sufferers) are wrong. I`m referring to those who believe that depression is a weakness, and something that results from too much self-indulgence. Why would we put ourselves through this hell?? We are very very strong people to be able to keep fighting. It`s easy to forget that. I woudn`t wish depression on anyone, but I would like the people who `dis` the illness as some kind of self pity to just spend a couple of days going through it. That would soon change their minds.
I`m sorry that you have lost friends because of you illness; I haven`t lost any of my important friends, although I haven`t seen them for ages (7 years in a couple of cases). The fact that they remain my friends is of constant astonishment to me, considering the input thay receive from me (practically none). I guess I`m lucky. I have, however, broken up with boyfriends as a direct result of my illness, which is hard to take. I know now that I can`t even entertain the idea of another one until such a time as I am well enough to. Like you, I very rarely leave my flat (and haven`t done for the past 3 years more or less). Just feel too ill, and the constant pretence to others that I`m O.K. is a nightmare which leaves me absolutely exhausted.
You have been diagnosed with a lot of things. Which one? Or don`t they know exactly? Or do you actually have all these conditions? I guess I`m `lucky` that I only suffer from severe depression. I imagine that is easier to treat (albeit very difficult in my case). When I say `lucky`, I mean the complete opposite in terms of suffering, but you see what I mean (I hope!).
I don`t know where you live, but in the UK there are only 2 clinics that deal in `treatment resistant depression`. The one I`m going to has been referred to as a `centre of excellence`, and the Pressor is known to be one of the best in this field. I have to wait and see, I guess. I suppose that he has up to the minute info on anti-depressant medications, and even when I leave the hospital he will be advising my regular psychiatrist (that is unless he gets it right whilst I`m an in-patient. I`m hoping he does).
Thanks again for your support and prayers, they are very much appreciated.
Love,
Anna.
Posted by sweetmarie on March 25, 2001, at 6:33:41
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre, [LONG] » sweetmarie, posted by dove on March 24, 2001, at 15:26:18
> >
> How long have you been trying medications? Has this combination improved your life significantly (i.e. are you able to function/see friends/go out etc? That`s all I`m asking of a medication really. The rest I can tackle myself (relationships, work, whatever).
> >
>
> I spent much of my childhood and teen-age years self-medicating, except for a stint on Tegretol (AED). I wasn't even prescribed the Tegretol for a mood-disorder but for my fainting/blackout episodes, labeling them seizures. I told doctors that I had depression, and they told me I needed more sunshine (which, looking back, was partially true), and I needed to eat better, needed to gain some weight (wish I had that problem still ;-) needed more vitamin C, more exercise, ect... I also had blinding migraines, still do; however, I now use preventative meds. And it was through my search for migraine relief (and making sure I wasn't having little strokes because I would "faint" or black-out before they came on) that I tried my first med that opened my eyes to an entirely new world that I had only dreamt of.
>
> I was prescribed Verapamil, a calcium-channel blocker used for heart-disease and treating migraines. It was like an OD on beautiful shiny reality, and I was flying. When they felt it was effecting the way my heart beats and causing me to gain weight they moved me to Amitriptyline. The Ami does quell my migraines but I fell into a deep depression after the Verapamil was removed. I kept telling my Internal Medicine Doc, and my other non-specialist doc's that I was depressed and had lost that feeling of being "normal". They all said it would take some time to feel the effects of Amitriptyline and that it was "after-all" an antidepressant!
>
> But I've never been that stable again, nor has the world been that beautiful, alive and real again. I finally received a referral and the permission to see a psych-doc, who dxed me with (in order of importance by his criteria): ADHD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and Rapid Cycling Bi-polar, and I may have forgotten a few. Over time, with different doc's and different dxes, multiple therapists and multiple med trials, I've come to the point where the meds are kind of like a life-preserver in a raging sea, and I have to do some legwork myself to push that life-preserver back to safety. I also know that some meds try to drown me, while others keep me afloat; and that it's really hard to distinguish between the two when you're taking multiple meds.
>
> I have lost contact with all but my very best friend, who lives so far away that we rarely see each other but do talk on the phone every other month or so. I have been bound to the house for some time now, well over five years really. That is, until quite recently. A combination of events and med additions within the last 3-4 months have given me a little more strength, still not what my husband wants to see, but a major step for me.
>
> The primary med that started a slow change and some improvement is Neurontin, and then the addition of Klonopin, and then the addition of low-dose Prozac.
>
> The primary events are my Mom being dxed with Lymphoma and Thyroid cancer, missing my best friend's (who lives far away) marriage this past December and subsequently her Dad being dxed with Leukemia and throat cancer, my childhood and beloved Minister's sudden death at the age of 46, my Aunt's attempted suicide (resulting in hospitalization, ECT, and subsequent recovery); then my eldest son's Grandpa being dxed with cancer in the form of an inoperative and terminal brain tumor (who has a mere three weeks left even though there were no symptoms until last week.), and his Great Grandpa being dxed with Alzheimer's.
>
> So, I still don't want to go outside, or anywhere else, but I do feel more alive. I believe I'm still in the detached-unreality part of real comprehension of the losses. I cried and cried after learning of all and each illness and death, then I became settled enough to speak about these events without falling apart, but deep down there's a lot of fear. I've been writing at P-Babble for over three (1998?) years now, and my presence has been sporadic for the last year or so. I fear writing because all these things and more are wrapped around each other in my heart, soul and mind; and I can't seem to open up without everything surfacing and baring just a little too much flesh, and I then feel vulnerable and overwhelmed resulting in withdrawal once again.
>
> So, after my longgggg sob-story, I think there are meds that can help anyone and everyone at least a little, but it can be a tough journey finding them. Are you struggling with major (double?) depression and one of the anxiety/panic disorders (i.e. agoraphobia)? There are some extremely wise and intelligent, as well as beautiful and kind, people on this board; who share their med/chemical knowledge freely. Sometimes the meds that are "suppose to do the job" don't, and ones that aren't suppose to do the job do indeed do the job.
>
> I'd also be afraid of being in-patient, I was almost committed against my will in December 1999 and I totally freaked. However, if there really wasn't anything but darkness inside of me, and I was really near the end of no turning back, and I had a family whom I loved and who loved me; I would probably check myself in. Remember, there are different strategies and different "experts" all over the world, and though you may feel *this* expert is your last hope, it isn't! I promise you it isn't.
>
> My latest p-doc (also honored with the title "expert") has me taking Adderall, Serzone, Neurontin, Klonopin, Prozac, and Amitriptyline. The combo becomes a little complicated when trying to take 6-8 Neurontin Caplets, 4 Adderall tabs, 4 Serzone Tabs, 3 Klonopin miniature tabs, ect... but the combo is having some beneficial effect, a might bit slow, but better than no!
>
> Don't lose hope, that is probably one of the most important things you need to hold onto, even though it's probably the hardest; after-all, isn't depression all about losing hope. My prayers, thoughts, and hope are with you. I may not post all that often, but I still read, and my eyes and ears will be vigilantly with you on your journey.
>
> dovedove,
P.S. to my previous posting.
You say that you responded well to one med combo; as I`m sure I mentioned, I responded very well with Dothiepin (and saw the world in a way I`d never seen it before, it was incredible). Surely, having responded to a medication (or medications), then it shows that this is possible and the odds are in our favour in finding another. This may be convaluted logic, but it seems kind of reasonable to me.
Anna.
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