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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mike123 on February 5, 2001, at 10:47:01
Hello,
I am 25 and for the past 10yrs I have always felt a sense of lonelyness or sadness. I had gone through my highschool and college years always being alone, and never dating or feeling like I fit in. I have a few friends and when we goto bars or other social situations I always feel out of place and rarely talk to anyone, and feel very unconfortable approaching people. In recently I have done a lot of reflecting and when I am in a situation seeing other couples or listening people discuss past experiences that I never encountered is very upsepting/depressing. It seems most people look back at the times they had in Highschool and College as the best times of there life, unfortunately I feel the complete opposite and everytime I hear people talk about it I only get more sad.
Recently (3weeks ago) after spending the winter break alone at school (i returned to school for my masters), I became very depressed and this term I am doing extremely poor. My mind is constantly filled with thoughts of lonelyness and missed experiences. After almost being fired from work, and doing extremely poor in classes, i saw a doctor. He put me on Effexor, I so far I have done the 37mg for a week then now i'm up to 75mg. I have noticed nothing from the drug other than side effects, which have all gone away.
I basicly am wondering what I can expect from antidepressants, deep down inside I am praying that it will be a magic pill that will change my outlook on life, and rid me of the sense of not fitting in, and possibly lead me to meeting a person that I can share my feelings with, and no longer be alone. On the other hand, in the past 10yrs I've learn to accept the posibility that I dont fit in and i'm destin to be a bachlor/alone the rest of my life.
Please advise, getting very discouraged.
Posted by Racer on February 6, 2001, at 19:02:20
In reply to New to Effexor and depression, what to expect?, posted by mike123 on February 5, 2001, at 10:47:01
Oh my! What a terrible situation to be in! I'm glad you've started something to help, and hope that this board helps you as much as it has helped me and others over time.
As for anti-depressants in general, they aren't magic. They can help you focus on what you need to change in your behavior, by clearing the waters muddied by depression, but they're not a magic bullet to fix whatever ails you. That's the bad news.
The good news is that often it's only that clearing that you need in order to see what's really going on. For example, I always think that I'm somehow so horrendously damaged that anyone can see at first sight how 'weird' or 'crazy' or 'mentally ill' I am. Then the depression lifts, and I see that people aren't looking so closely at me as all that, largly because they're much more concerned about how I see them! Does that make any sense?
Good luck with the Effexor, and keep us posted. Feel free to email me if you'd like, for any questions you may have that you'd rather not post in public, or here or at Psycho-social-babble.
Now for my unsolicited advice: Depression tends to draw us into ourselves, and focus our attention away from other people. Nothing you can do now will make your high school or college years anything other than what they were, so don't waste energy on them. The energy you use up wishing that you'd had those fabulous years of your youth could be put to better use. Pay attention to the people around you. Go out with friends and watch how they interact with others. See if you can see something that makes a difference. Take a good look at your friends: what do you do differently with them from what you do with others? Maybe you speak more quickly, or express deeper thoughts, or show a weird sense of humor. Maybe you laugh more, or disagree more. There's probably something you do differently with them.
Don't tell us that your friends are different from the people you're trying to meet, that only says that you're not trying to meet people you are likely to like! Meet new people by going to book signings, joining special interest groups, anything that puts you in contact with other people who share an interest with you.
And since all that takes a lot of energy, don't try to do it all at once. Give yourself time to get some relief from depression and then give yourself a goal you can achieve: go to one event every six weeks, for instance. Something that won't be too much to handle. You can always do more if you like.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Posted by Elly on February 7, 2001, at 20:22:46
In reply to New to Effexor and depression, what to expect?, posted by mike123 on February 5, 2001, at 10:47:01
Oh Mike
First of all 25 is very young. You never know when your life will unfold and you will blossom.
There are those that have great high school years and then fade!!
Keep talkling to a Dr.
You sound as though you may have a social phobia (very common). Paxil is a good medication for that. Just look at all the threads on Effoxor - I'd be afraid of that one!
Believe that you are important in this world - we all are! (There are times of course when we can quite see what it is)! But if positive thinking doesn't work, it could very well be a chemical imbalance!
Keep at it, good luck and do not give up!
Let us know of your progress
Posted by mike123 on February 7, 2001, at 23:03:54
In reply to Re: New to Effexor and depression, what to expect?, posted by Elly on February 7, 2001, at 20:22:46
Are you saying paxil and effexor are different? From what I have gathered they are both sorta the same.
> Oh Mike
> First of all 25 is very young. You never know when your life will unfold and you will blossom.
> There are those that have great high school years and then fade!!
> Keep talkling to a Dr.
> You sound as though you may have a social phobia (very common). Paxil is a good medication for that. Just look at all the threads on Effoxor - I'd be afraid of that one!
> Believe that you are important in this world - we all are! (There are times of course when we can quite see what it is)! But if positive thinking doesn't work, it could very well be a chemical imbalance!
> Keep at it, good luck and do not give up!
> Let us know of your progress
Posted by Racer on February 9, 2001, at 0:42:23
In reply to Re: New to Effexor and depression, what to expect?, posted by mike123 on February 7, 2001, at 23:03:54
> Are you saying paxil and effexor are different? From what I have gathered they are both sorta the same.
Paxil is an SSRI: selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Effexor is not. Effexor is a different sort of an animal all together, effecting other neurotransmitters.
Someone else will tell you the details, but they're different classes of drugs, with different effects and different side effects.
Effexor can be great, or it can be awful. Just depends on your chemistry.
Take care, good luck and keep us posted.
This is the end of the thread.
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