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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sheryl on October 19, 2000, at 9:05:53
I write sometimes to express how I feel and I would like to share one of my writings with you. Some of you might relate to this. This is one of many of my passages............
A Statement of feeling
The pain feels devastating. I feel the knives
being stuck in through my chest and right into my
heart. Thy stomach quenches and curls tighter into
knotts. My sole feels empty as I lost my mirror image.
An image so close to mine it could have been me in another body. I've only known this image for a short time,but feels forever.
Little do I know why Im scared,nor do I know that I feel lost. So much beauty within causes a strong liking. The enormous amount of beauty on the outside causes a strong attraction.
It was as if I had found myself,got scared,and threw it away. Why does my evil side always come out? Why must it torture me until I die?
I feel anger and hatred all to myself. The pain never stops. It just moves from place to place. I rage in anger of my past. I rage to the way I am haunted. Life betrays my every move. It feels like a game of chess that can never be won. I look into the mirror and see the devil he lurks in my soul as he see's through my eyes,speaks through my mouth, and hears through my ears. I am possesed and hate it.
My brain no longer functions normal. I can't think, eat, or sleep. Im messed up and can't help it.Nobody wants a nobody,not even my family. As the violent Femms would say, "how can I explain my personal pain?" I can't explain, only feel the pain.
I guess this is bye to my mirror image for I know what thee is thinking and I know what thee feels. Bye-Bye image.....................
Posted by laural on October 19, 2000, at 9:38:49
In reply to Something I want to share with you, posted by Sheryl on October 19, 2000, at 9:05:53
thank you for posting that--
it struck me as i was reading this that a lot of people with mental illnesses who write creative expressions refer to being posessed by demons or the devil. and why the interest in blood? i'm not sure if you mentioned blood--but i sure did when i wrote pain poems--you know i think there is a hell on earth and that hell is psychological, even for "normal" people, dysfunction of any kind (dysfuction to the point of impairment or dissatisfaction) is hell.
i don't know if i'm making any sense, its 9:30 am and i havn't slept yet
but mental illness is just plain evil. of course you learn a lot about yourself--strengths, weaknesses, how you cope--so there is always a duality. i think that evil is often linked with knowledge--adam and eve story, pandora and her box, and interestingly often blames the woman as the catalyst--hmm
Posted by laural on October 19, 2000, at 18:03:36
In reply to Re: Something I want to share with you, posted by laural on October 19, 2000, at 9:38:49
> thank you for posting that--
> it struck me as i was reading this that a lot of people with mental illnesses who write creative expressions refer to being posessed by demons or the devil. and why the interest in blood? i'm not sure if you mentioned blood--but i sure did when i wrote pain poems--you know i think there is a hell on earth and that hell is psychological, even for "normal" people, dysfunction of any kind (dysfuction to the point of impairment or dissatisfaction) is hell.
> i don't know if i'm making any sense, its 9:30 am and i havn't slept yet
> but mental illness is just plain evil. of course you learn a lot about yourself--strengths, weaknesses, how you cope--so there is always a duality. i think that evil is often linked with knowledge--adam and eve story, pandora and her box, and interestingly often blames the woman as the catalyst--hmmI know most of what i wrote sounds incoherant but i didn't know what i was getting at, after thinking some more and sleep (finally!) maybe i can make more sense:
From Carl Jung's perspective, creation myths around the world follow patterns or archetypes that perhaps symbolize ideas harder to put into words at the time. Or this is my interpretation. the idea that knowledge creates evil or pain and is brought about through carnation (ie when eve feels the pains of childbirth after she was expelled from innocence) or when eve (mother of evil?) was created from aesexual reproduction (adam's rib) and then when adam and eve reproduced sexually (ie knowledge--to "know" someone biblically means to have sex with someone) created cain--evil. This creation myth (please--no offense) i take to be a paribol of how the universe was created. before we were carnate, we were engergy, part of a huge collective unconcious, the libido. then ?somehow? eve came into being (maybe as a single celled organism maybe as photons--light particles that are at once EM waves) that gave rise to the evolution of sentient life or even just physical matter or both, maybe eve is a process maybe eve is evelution itself 1st energy to matter then aesexual to sexual reproduction (ie, the creation of DNA mixing, the possiblity for mutation the possibility of CHOICE good or evil? sentience! self awareness! I think therefore I am . . .ANYway, this is all well and good but how does it fit with reality?
Maybe as nonsentient energy (angels?) we needed to learn a lesson about knowledge, maybe we became carnate humans to learn how to deal with the pain of sickness, disease, pain. maybe we relive our lives until we learn that lesson or relive some kind of life--maybe evil and hell lies within ourselves and its our job to learn to live with or deal with or rise above it somehow, maybe when we finally do this we become some of the great people like Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed and the prophets maybe we can spontaneously turn back into energy and "ascend" to heaven or have control over our own reality--we already do to some extent. I know that positive thoughts generate positive situations and responses and the oppositeI hope i don't sound like a quack but this has helped me through suicide many times as well as thinking about my impact on those around me--well, my mom laural
Posted by noa on October 19, 2000, at 18:14:17
In reply to fallen angels, posted by laural on October 19, 2000, at 18:03:36
Thought this book might interest you---it is an exploration of some of the issues you raise, and it also uses the biblical creation story , as you do, to explore this.
here is the blurb that Dr. bob put on his "read" page:
Making Loss Matter : Creating Meaning in Difficult Times
by David J. Wolpe, Mitch Albom
Recommended by noa:
I just read a book, that I have somewhat mixed feelings about, but it was interesting, so I will pass the info on. It is written by a Rabbi, and draws a lot on traditional Jewish sources (Biblical characters, ancient rabbinic stories, and Hasidic stories), but it is quite universal in its approach. It is not unlike Harold Kushner's When Bad Things Happen to Good People in its intents, but is written in a very different style. Wolpe writes beautifully, but where Kushner writes in a more straightforward manner, Wolpe's prose has a distinctly spiritual/poetic flair. Sometimes, I found his psychological analysis of Biblical stories unsatisfying, simply because his poetic flair seems at times to add to a sort of looseness in how he explains what he is able to draw from the stories. But I was never bored, and it was not repetitive in the way that the typical inspirational/self-help book is. One of the main points of the book relates to letting go of the idea of going back to the way it was or should have been, that we all long for when struggling to cope with life's difficulties. It was also interesting that his treatment of the concept of loss covers "real" and tangible losses, as well as psychological losses. In addition to drawing upon traditional sources, Wolpe shares his pastoral counseling experiences (sometimes these fall into the trap of seem a bit too slick, the way many authors relate their "magically" successful case examples), as well as some of his personal struggles.
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