Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 41470

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax

Posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00

I was so depressed today I couldn't move.(And it's not pms time). I feel like there's a split between my body and my head. My head is saying life is okay, my chest is so tight that I can hardly breathe. For me, depression is so physically painful.

It's times like today that I appreciate having a pdoc that is very responsive--I knew she'd call me back as soon as she was done seeing patients. She said to go ahead and fill the topomax It's a drug that I'm a bit scared of, but I will go up even slower than she said. I had been putting off trying it--because its a slow process, and I wanted to try the adrafinil first.

I'm so scared about feeling this depressed. I'm a portrait photographer and owe lots of people pictures (I do all my own printing). (I always come out of the depression when I shoot, but it's so hard for me to print when I'm depressed.) I have already taken three weeks off of printing when I tried provigil because I was too tired to move. Last time I told my customers, sorry I had a virus--what can I say this time? Wish I could say, sorry I'm REALLY depressed but as soon as a new med kicks in you'll have your pictures. But of course, I can't. I couldn't even call customers today whose pictures were ready, because I didn't want them to come over and pick them up. Depression is such a bitch. This is the worst it's been for me since I started Nardil (15 years ago), except for three months, about six years ago when I got off Nardil and tried ssris and ended up in the hospital.

This is just a bitching note. I know you've all been here. Shellie

 

Re:Anyone on topomax?

Posted by shellie on July 27, 2000, at 16:22:20

In reply to Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax, posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00

Feeling really down and scared. Just wondered if anyone else on this board has tried topomax. (I did read the thread by Janice which was encouraging). Thanks, any support would be welcome. shellie

 

Customers

Posted by shar on July 27, 2000, at 22:11:23

In reply to Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax, posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00

Unless you've used these before, I recommend you have a friend call your customers who have prints, say they can come and pick them up between x and y time, and have the friend deal with the customers.

Your friend could say you are out of town.
Or, migraine. Or, allergic reaction to some medication. Or, family emergency. Or, hurt your back.

Friend can be at your house or elsewhere. Or even get a delivery service.

Bottom line: If you can't do it, you can't. If you have to have a white lie to do it, I think it is ok.

Shar
Good luck!

 

thanks for suggestion nm » shar

Posted by shellie on July 28, 2000, at 7:47:50

In reply to Customers, posted by shar on July 27, 2000, at 22:11:23

.

 

Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax » shellie

Posted by MichaelF on July 28, 2000, at 10:09:24

In reply to Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax, posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00

Shellie,

I take it the Dexedrine didn't work. What happened when you tried it?

MichaelF

 

Re:Anyone on topomax? long » shellie

Posted by tdaneen on July 28, 2000, at 11:44:08

In reply to Re:Anyone on topomax?, posted by shellie on July 27, 2000, at 16:22:20

Salutations!
I'm right there with you. I know just what it is like not to be able to get dressed, or do the dishes, or laundry, or face work of any kind, or responsibility of any kind.
I have been having a pretty rough time lately. A myriad of personal crisis and relationship problems. A separation, a start of a divorce, a loss of a job, a start of a new job, five or six different meds that didn't work for me. The latest one I have been on is Topamax. Here are my personal experiences.

I am on 60mg of Celexa, 25mcg Cytomel, 10mg Metheylphenid (bid),
The Topamax has been a very, very slow progression getting up to my current dose of 150mg per day. I take 50mg AM and 100mg PM. The AM dose was the harder of the two for me to work up to. If I boosted too fast I was very tired, drowsy, uncoordenated (sorry about the spelling-no spell check here! :^) ) I had some memory and concentration problmes. I did find that if I just lowered the dose by half of what the doctor recommended I didn't get the side effects. The only lasting side effect I have now is the typical dry mouth that I get with everything else. I do expect my doc to take me up to over 200mg per day. I haven't lost any weight yet, but I still have hope. I guess the only snippet of wisdom I can share is just this, if you are experiencing side effects (yucky ones) check with your doc (mine is really cool with me about this) and lower the dose. Go slower with the progression. Take it slower and you should have less side effects.

At least that is how it worked best for me. I seem to have this funky metabolism that I get all the weird side effects, the ones that only a few percent get, and the side effects are stronger. I wish you luck. If I can help answer any questions from my perspective. I'll try to help. I've been on Topamax for about three months now. My moods have been ok. Even with all the emotional upheavel. (geesh! there goes that spelling again!!)

Best of luck!

tdaneen

 

Re: Dexadrine » MichaelF

Posted by shellie on July 28, 2000, at 11:45:01

In reply to Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax » shellie, posted by MichaelF on July 28, 2000, at 10:09:24

> Shellie,
>
> I take it the Dexedrine didn't work. What happened when you tried it?
>
> MichaelF

Hi Michael. I went to the drug store with my prescription--10mg dexedrine. Turned out 10mg dex is only made in the long acting--I was upset, but I got it. Didn't like how I felt on it. I had called already called my pdoc to send me another prescription for 5mg which I didn't get til Tuesday. I was afraid to try it; I felt like I only had enough fortitude in me for one more stimulent trial so I was holding out for adrafinil. Then when that didn't come--I had totally crashed and went with my pdoc's suggestion, topomax.

So I didn't give the regular dexadrine a fair trial. (I still have the prescription). Did you ever receive your adrafinil? (I thought you had ordered it). Anyway, someone on the board was kind enough to e-mail me that she would send me some, but at this point I'm so afraid of any more side effects, that I'm going to wait a while and see if the topamax kicks in. I'm so low and so scared that we're thinking maybe hospitalization till the meds kick in, but I have so much work to do, and I want to go to New Mexico (I try to go every year) in early September. So I'm trying to get through this. Shellie

 

Re: topomax? » tdaneen

Posted by shellie on July 28, 2000, at 12:06:16

In reply to Re:Anyone on topomax? long » shellie, posted by tdaneen on July 28, 2000, at 11:44:08

Hi Tdaneen. Thanks for writing. Compared to the changes you are going through being merely suicidal feels downright punny. Yesterday I already cut the first dose of 25mg down to 12.5. I don't even tell my pdoc, I just do it. Today at 25mg I am experiencing stomach cramps which she had warned me about. Did you have that? I wonder if they go away after a bit. She wants me to go up in five days, but I may wait a week, mostly because I don't want it to fail because of side effects. I have read a lot to go slow slow slow. Are you taking this for bipolar, or for augmentation for depression?

I'm sorry about your separation and divorce. That must feel awful. And a new job. That's a lot of changes. My last big change was buying my house three years ago--which was less stressful than any of my prior moves for some reason. I think it was partly because I didn't have to put any work into this house for a change.

Well, thanks for writing, it helps me alot. And my thoughts are also with you and all your changes.

Shellie

 

Re: topomax? » shellie

Posted by tdaneen on July 28, 2000, at 12:46:03

In reply to Re: topomax? » tdaneen, posted by shellie on July 28, 2000, at 12:06:16

I am an up & downer. I augment with the cytomel (a thyroid med) and the methylphenid which is just another name for ritalin.
I was thinking about the 'ole dirt nap last week (bad BAD week), but I have a simply beautiful daughter which (and I know you will follow this weird train of thought) is a reason TO and TO NOT at the same time. But we know that when we are close to NORMAL, well, as close to normal as we are able to get, being as super cool and special as we are... I know, and YOU know that we do have things to live for.
You know what? And this isn't just fluf. I believe this (right now, I'm not depressed, remind me later, ok, when I am depressed because it is very VERY TRUE!!!) Any one of us here at PB is a person who has much more inner strength than most. We have to get up each day,every day. Knowing that we walk a tight rope. Can I balance today, or is the chasm going to get me today? How long before I can climb my way out this time? Do I have the strength do this again? You don't think you do.
But you do.
You are SO, SO STRONG!! You fight every day. You have a career that still gives you joy. You have a career that gives people lovely memories to pass through their families. What a treasure. You are a treasure. Never forget that.

You are doing the right thing. You are actively seeking and getting help. You are getting support. You are venting and confirming that NO you are NOT along, it is not just you. What you have is a mood disorder. It is a physical (not a mental) disease. It can be treated. It just takes time (sometimes a lot of time...this is said with a sly smile and a wink ;^)
Girl! Don't think of it as YOU failing the trial. I think the best thing you are doing is to research about your condition. Keep yourself informed about treatments, side effects, whatever. I hope that this works well for you. If not, then we keep up the search. REMEMBER: STRONG, EVERY DAY, That's you.
I hope I haven't yammered on WAYYYYYY too much.

Oh, yes I did have some tummy trouble, so I made sure to eat something starchy with it (no, that does NOT mean a whole plate of pasta, or a loaf of bread) KIDDING!!

Good lord! Can I talk or what??!!?!

 

Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil...Get SAM-e

Posted by JohnL on July 29, 2000, at 4:52:35

In reply to Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil; Next.. Topamax, posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00

Have you tried SAM-e?

I like SAM-e, and here's why. It works fast, like 2 days to a week (at 800mg, or 4 pills per day) for me. I respond well to Adrafinil, and also to SAM-e. But not well to more common things like SSRIs (partially effective, too many side effects, lack of motivation/pleasure). Side effects from SAM-e are practically nill.

In the past when I was on whatever prescription medication, I often bottomed out as you described while waiting for a med to kick in, or while tapering off one to start another. During those times I discovered SAM-e brought very quick relief. The only reason I never stayed with it was the high cost.

It's so easy to get. Wal*Mart is easy enough. Nature Made brand normal price $19.97. I've seen it on sale for $16.97.

SAM-e is outstanding for putting a quick end to that bottoming out. You might want to try it. Take two pills midmorning with water between meals, and again midafternoon the same way. Maybe start with half that dose the first two days, and then increase. I think you could be surprised how well it could work. In any case, I've found SAM-e on multiple trials to be a surefire way to end those bottoming out spells.
JohnL

 

Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil...Get SAM-e » JohnL

Posted by shellie on July 29, 2000, at 10:49:12

In reply to Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil...Get SAM-e, posted by JohnL on July 29, 2000, at 4:52:35

> Have you tried SAM-e?
>
>Hi JohnL. Yes, I did try sam-e. I did a full trial of it in February, but unfortunately it caused an agitated depression in me. I went slowly up to 1600 mg, then finally had to say, that I was one of the 30% it didn't work for. Dr. Brown, who wrote a book on it and supervised my trial, gives it about a 70% chance of working--just like other anti-depressants. If it works, its great. No side effects (except some people do feel increased anxiety which he doesn't talk about in this book). It was really disappointing to me, but I'm glad I tried--at least now I know. Shellie

 

Re: Topamax trial » shellie

Posted by KarenB on August 1, 2000, at 2:43:24

In reply to Re: Bottomed Out Waiting for Adrafinil...Get SAM-e » JohnL, posted by shellie on July 29, 2000, at 10:49:12

> > Have you tried SAM-e?
> >
> >Hi JohnL. Yes, I did try sam-e. I did a full trial of it in February, but unfortunately it caused an agitated depression in me. I went slowly up to 1600 mg, then finally had to say, that I was one of the 30% it didn't work for. Dr. Brown, who wrote a book on it and supervised my trial, gives it about a 70% chance of working--just like other anti-depressants. If it works, its great. No side effects (except some people do feel increased anxiety which he doesn't talk about in this book). It was really disappointing to me, but I'm glad I tried--at least now I know. Shellie

Shellie,

I know it's really soon to tell but how are you feeling so far on the Topamax? Better than a few days ago?

I'm hoping, right there with you, for the best.

Karen

 

Re: Topamax trial » KarenB

Posted by shellie on August 10, 2000, at 18:59:27

In reply to Re: Topamax trial » shellie, posted by KarenB on August 1, 2000, at 2:43:24

Hi Karen. Thanks for asking. I finally went into the hospital, I was feeling so badly, and they could up the topomax up much faster there. Now I'm up to 125mg and they want me to up it by 25mg every other day til, I can't remember, either 200 or 400. I am a zoombie, I am so tired. They say that will go away, but I don't know if its true. It did go away with lamictal. I need to start working but don't know how I'm going to do it. If it's too hard at home, I'll go back to the hospital. But I wanted to try to come home.

It's a very comfortable place for me. This is the fourth time in ten years that I've been there for a short time. There were only about 8 - 12 patients, you see your pdoc every day and your therapist 3 times a week and have group therapy every day. Then there are a lot of stupid groups also, which I tried to get through--educational groups, art therapy, journaling etc. But mostly it is nice because the staff is so respectful toward the patients. It's a center for people who have been abused.

Anyway, hope the medication is still holding up for you too. I was one mile from where Dr. Bob and crew met, but I was supposed to be out of town visiting my parents, then I was in the hospital until yesterday. shellie


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