Posted by shellie on July 26, 2000, at 19:33:00
I was so depressed today I couldn't move.(And it's not pms time). I feel like there's a split between my body and my head. My head is saying life is okay, my chest is so tight that I can hardly breathe. For me, depression is so physically painful.
It's times like today that I appreciate having a pdoc that is very responsive--I knew she'd call me back as soon as she was done seeing patients. She said to go ahead and fill the topomax It's a drug that I'm a bit scared of, but I will go up even slower than she said. I had been putting off trying it--because its a slow process, and I wanted to try the adrafinil first.
I'm so scared about feeling this depressed. I'm a portrait photographer and owe lots of people pictures (I do all my own printing). (I always come out of the depression when I shoot, but it's so hard for me to print when I'm depressed.) I have already taken three weeks off of printing when I tried provigil because I was too tired to move. Last time I told my customers, sorry I had a virus--what can I say this time? Wish I could say, sorry I'm REALLY depressed but as soon as a new med kicks in you'll have your pictures. But of course, I can't. I couldn't even call customers today whose pictures were ready, because I didn't want them to come over and pick them up. Depression is such a bitch. This is the worst it's been for me since I started Nardil (15 years ago), except for three months, about six years ago when I got off Nardil and tried ssris and ended up in the hospital.
This is just a bitching note. I know you've all been here. Shellie
poster:shellie
thread:41470
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41470.html