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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on June 12, 2000, at 20:47:13
I've been having periods of "zoning out" for about the past 3 weeks. A couple of times have been dangerous- I turned the wrong way on a one way street and came to the sounds of horns honking, another time I fell and cut my arm (I don't actually remember falling). My Internist felt it was the drugs I'm taking- depakote, neurontin, klonopin, and risperdal- but I have taken this combo before and at higher doses w/o any serious problems. My shrink thinks I'm dissociating- I have done that before. I had a seizure (grand mal) after a head injury 2 years ago, but the EEG was normal and I haven't had any seizures since. I spoke to my Neurologist on the phone today and he said to stop driving immediately, but says until he examines me he won't venture any diagnosis. Is there any relationship between bipolar disorder and epilepsy? Does this sound like a purely psych problem? I'm scared, and any input would help. Thank you.
Posted by Chris A. on June 13, 2000, at 0:04:26
In reply to seeing neuro on Friday- any advice?, posted by judy1 on June 12, 2000, at 20:47:13
Dear Judy,
Have you visited this link?
http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/isse.html
I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. It does sound scary. I must admit I get a little upset when "things" get blamed on my bipolar illness.Blessings,
Chris A.
Posted by judy1 on June 13, 2000, at 14:17:25
In reply to Re: seeing neuro on Friday- any advice?, posted by Chris A. on June 13, 2000, at 0:04:26
Dear Chris,
Thank you so much for this site, I did score very high in some areas. I plan on printing out the results and bringing them with me. How are you? I haven't been keeping up very well with the board, but I remember you were experimenting with omega? fish oils. Did you have success with that? Has your cycling slowed down? Take care and thank you for your thoughts- Judy
Posted by Chris A. on June 19, 2000, at 15:04:59
In reply to Re: seeing neuro on Friday- any advice?- Chris A, posted by judy1 on June 13, 2000, at 14:17:25
Dear Judy,
How was your appointment with your neurologist? I've been thinking about you and praying for you...Thanks for asking. The unstable moods are still taking 90% of my energy and attention. I spent a few days back on the psych unit to protect me from my self-destructive urges. I admit that I am tired (very) of going there. Actually, I am very tired of everything. We are stopping the ECT, at least for now. My TSH was supressed, but the T4 was super low - which we only discovered late Friday, so am waiting to see if my fill-in pDoc can catch up with my endo (who I haven't gone to for while). Either it is a lab error, or we need to make some major adjustments in my thyroid meds. I keep thinking that my long-standing Hashimoto's thyroiditis is wreaking havoc. Hopefully I am wrong, as in that case the treatment is Prednisone (which pDocs are scared of and so am I - for good reason). It could be a clue as to why all the mood stabilizing regimens in the world haven't worked. If I don't answer anyone it's because I am depressed and exhausted (with a capital E). There are so many kind, supportive and knowledgeable fellow sufferers on this board. I wish I could keep up and be more supportive.
Blessings,
Chris A.
Posted by judy1 on June 20, 2000, at 11:28:01
In reply to Re: seeing neuro on Friday -how did it go?, posted by Chris A. on June 19, 2000, at 15:04:59
Oh Chris I'm so so sorry you are having such a rough time. When you say self-destructive, do you cut or do you mean suicidal? I went to the neuro because of all this dissociation, probably psych but he kindly ordered an EEG anyway. I saw my neuropsych testing and that made me feel really bad, they probably were right to keep it away from me. We're talking a 40 point drop in IQ here, which makes me stupid and nuts. For some reason I can accept smart and nuts, but not that. My psychologist who saw me right after said depression has a lot to do with it in addition to the TBI, so I'm getting proactive and seeing someone soon about help for cognitive problems. But enough about me, why do you think you're feeling so bad right now, do you think it could have been the ECT- I hear that's a temporary effect, so hopefully you will soon be on the upswing. Scott gave me a new drug called Gabitril (sp?). Do you know about it yet? I truly know how discouraging this is, and how blessed we both are to have husbands and children. Try really hard to stay focused on that and know my prayers are with you.
Love, Judy
Posted by Chris A. on June 20, 2000, at 13:30:48
In reply to Re: seeing neuro on Friday -how did it go?, posted by judy1 on June 20, 2000, at 11:28:01
Thanks Judy,
Your support means a lot. I empathize with the cognitive difficulties, as I feel like a non-functional idiot at this point. What are you doing in the way of getting help for the cognitive problems?
Frankly, I have been feeling suicidal. When I go to carry it out I feel extremely guilty. I don't want to hurt my family, but the pain just continues on and on and on. Gabitril is one I haven't researched or tried. My docs don't have any answers and neither do I. My only hope is that getting this thyroid kink ironed out will help ease the desperation or that God will intervene miraculously.
Otherwise..suicide seems like the most sensible option.Chris A.
Posted by judy1 on June 20, 2000, at 19:53:53
In reply to judyl, posted by Chris A. on June 20, 2000, at 13:30:48
Dear Chris,
While suicide has seemed like a sensible option to some on this board, it is not. Having lost my dad to suicide, I can say with certainty that there is nothing sensible about it. It still hurts, and that is what has always stopped me- knowing the effect on my child. You sound like you are in a very painful place, and when we get there we forget that we always escape it- always. Please, please keep yourself safe, and allow the drs. to solve this. Have you started thyroid therapy yet? How long does it usually take before you see a change? Your priority now is to survive, and all my prayers are with you- Judy
Posted by Chris A. on June 22, 2000, at 23:59:06
In reply to judyl, posted by Chris A. on June 20, 2000, at 13:30:48
Dear Judy,
Please forgive me for not replying sooner. You are right about hanging in there because of the pain suicide causes to family, not to mention God. I am sorry about your Father and the suffering you have experienced as a result.
I have an appt. with my endo next week. In the meantime it's time to try and persevere, or at least try to. My pDoc is on vacation (well deserved).Thanks,
Chris A.
Posted by judy1 on June 25, 2000, at 2:30:25
In reply to To: judyl, posted by Chris A. on June 22, 2000, at 23:59:06
Dear Chris
I am so glad I stopped by today, you sound so much better and I was really worried about you. Thanks for taking the time to let me know how you are. Take care, Judy
Posted by SLS on June 25, 2000, at 8:56:33
In reply to seeing neuro on Friday- any advice?, posted by judy1 on June 12, 2000, at 20:47:13
> I've been having periods of "zoning out" for about the past 3 weeks. A couple of times have been dangerous- I turned the wrong way on a one way street and came to the sounds of horns honking, another time I fell and cut my arm (I don't actually remember falling). My Internist felt it was the drugs I'm taking- depakote, neurontin, klonopin, and risperdal- but I have taken this combo before and at higher doses w/o any serious problems. My shrink thinks I'm dissociating- I have done that before. I had a seizure (grand mal) after a head injury 2 years ago, but the EEG was normal and I haven't had any seizures since. I spoke to my Neurologist on the phone today and he said to stop driving immediately, but says until he examines me he won't venture any diagnosis. Is there any relationship between bipolar disorder and epilepsy? Does this sound like a purely psych problem? I'm scared, and any input would help. Thank you.
How long have you been taking Neurontin?
How much are you taking?
How quickly did you increase the dosage?
- Scott
Posted by SLS on June 25, 2000, at 9:37:29
In reply to judyl, posted by Chris A. on June 20, 2000, at 13:30:48
Dear Chris,
I felt well enough to post a few things today. I want to extend to you empathy and a sharing of extreme experiences. I don't know what else I can do.
I was feeling suicidal all last week. For me, suicidal ideations usually occur when there is a worsening of the biological depressive state itself. However, there always seems to be some pretty rational arguments for leaving such a painful existence. I can only tell you that this emotional state can disappear as quickly as it appears. It can also reappear quickly, which makes it even harder for me to gather strength to fight it again. I try to hold on to the idea that it will pass. However, while I am in the middle of it, I don't see how things can ever be better. One of my doctors described to me his impression of how one experiences severe depression. He said that there is a "timelessness" about it. It seems to have no beginning and no end.
Who can argue with you about how rational it is for *you* to commit suicide? To simply say that it makes no sense makes no sense. I would only encourage you to continue to search for your own reasons to stay alive. It appears that you have already found some good ones. I wish that I could guarantee to myself that I will always be strong enough and find my own reasons during my worst times. I am afraid to make such a commitment, for doing so may represent a commitment to endure more pain.
You see, you are not alone.
I am glad that you have found enough reason to live another day. Who else is going to help me through my severe and excruciating experiences? (I am selfish).
One thing I am now trying to keep in mind is that clinical researchers say that with every new drug that comes out, a percentage of previously treatment-resistent people get well.
Sincerely,
Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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