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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Abby on May 2, 2000, at 0:56:22
I e-mailed Vesper asking that s/he consider staying around. I also suggested that s/he ask for a consult from one of the other psychiatrists at UCLA.
This is the message I got back:
"Actually, I'm not being seen at ucla, which is a big part of the problem.
Thank you for writing, and I'm sorry, but I think I have to disappear."'Disappear' doesn't sound good.
Posted by tina on May 2, 2000, at 10:21:41
In reply to Very worried about Vesper, Janice, Noa?, posted by Abby on May 2, 2000, at 0:56:22
I don't even know you but I think I'm a little worried about you too. You have a great support system right here, we've all been through stuff but right here, we help eachother out. Please don't disappear, keep talking. >
I e-mailed Vesper asking that s/he consider staying around. I also suggested that s/he ask for a consult from one of the other psychiatrists at UCLA.
>
> This is the message I got back:
>
>
> "Actually, I'm not being seen at ucla, which is a big part of the problem.
> Thank you for writing, and I'm sorry, but I think I have to disappear."
>
> 'Disappear' doesn't sound good.
Posted by JudithC on May 2, 2000, at 11:43:42
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by tina on May 2, 2000, at 10:21:41
> I don't even know you but I think I'm a little worried about you too. You have a great support system right here, we've all been through stuff but right here, we help eachother out. Please don't disappear, keep talking. >
>
>
>
> I e-mailed Vesper asking that s/he consider staying around. I also suggested that s/he ask for a consult from one of the other psychiatrists at UCLA.
> >
> > This is the message I got back:
> >
> >
> > "Actually, I'm not being seen at ucla, which is a big part of the problem.
> > Thank you for writing, and I'm sorry, but I think I have to disappear."
> >
> > 'Disappear' doesn't sound good.Vesper,I am also concerned,because this is such a caring and supportive group of people that you really should stay and simply not fade away.
JudithC
Posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:56:24
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by JudithC on May 2, 2000, at 11:43:42
Did any of you read my message under the thread about bob, ie, where is he?
I told Vesper about why I had been ignoring him for the past 2 months or so. I did not mean to hurt him, just to explain my ignoring him. But now I think I probably did hurt him and that might be the reason he left. I know maybe it seems a bit heartless to not read his posts or respond, but I had to for myself, because of how upsetting the incident in February was, when he was suicidal.
The UCLA thing is that they stopped providing services because he didn't keep to all aspects of his contract with them. I don't remember the details. Janice will know, probably.
Or does his departure have something to do with registration?
Either way, I am worried about him, too. I never stopped worrying about him, but I just don't know if I can deal with the worrying.
Posted by JudithC on May 2, 2000, at 15:03:35
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:56:24
> Did any of you read my message under the thread about bob, ie, where is he?
>
> I told Vesper about why I had been ignoring him for the past 2 months or so. I did not mean to hurt him, just to explain my ignoring him. But now I think I probably did hurt him and that might be the reason he left. I know maybe it seems a bit heartless to not read his posts or respond, but I had to for myself, because of how upsetting the incident in February was, when he was suicidal.
>
> The UCLA thing is that they stopped providing services because he didn't keep to all aspects of his contract with them. I don't remember the details. Janice will know, probably.
>
> Or does his departure have something to do with registration?
>
> Either way, I am worried about him, too. I never stopped worrying about him, but I just don't know if I can deal with the worrying.Noa,you obviously do care about Vesper's emotional health very much;however,it seems that you have a lot on your plate right now coping with issues which need to be addressed so let the others in this "group" give Vesper the support he needs for now and you take a "breather"....we all need to step back at times in life and sort things out for ourselves which means that Vesper must understand that you are strapped at present.
Vesper,you do have so much support and care from these people....I am deeply touched by all of this love,yes,love. I don't know your problems;I don't judge your problems;I just know that from all that I have read,you are supported in gracious and tender form.
JudithC
Posted by dove on May 2, 2000, at 15:08:46
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:56:24
On the last archived board Vesper wrote about their visit to the ER and waiting forever and it all being a waste of time. Vesper also concluded or hypothesized that the only way to get some real help was to do some kind of damage to herself.
Noa, you have also been in the dark pit, and your priority to stay alive yourself reflects wisdom not callousness. There are plenty of able beings on this board to take up the support end of the rope for a few weeks. Everything should not being weighing upon your shoulders.
Sometimes we have to be wise enough to pull-back to keep from falling over the cliff ourselves.
Vesper, if you're out there, we're sending our thoughts and prayers your direction. Please do not give up hope, you are not alone, and though your burden is heavy, there are many here willing to help carry it.
dove
Posted by Cass on May 2, 2000, at 16:22:32
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by dove on May 2, 2000, at 15:08:46
I agree with the rest of the group. We all cry out for help sometimes, and if that disqualified us from posting, there would be few persons left here. Vesper, as far as I'm concerned you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're just human like the rest of us. Keep babbling!!!
Posted by harry b. on May 2, 2000, at 17:41:11
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by Cass on May 2, 2000, at 16:22:32
> I agree with the rest of the group. We all cry out for help sometimes, and if that disqualified us from posting, there would be few persons left here.
Boy, ain't that the truth. I've been crying here
for months. C'mon back Vesper.
Posted by Janice on May 2, 2000, at 22:35:17
In reply to Re: Very worried about Vesper too!, posted by Noa on May 2, 2000, at 13:56:24
hello, From what I can tell, it seems that vesper misinterpreted what Noa had written. I didn't interpret vesper's note as any kind of suicide note but rather he doesn't want to post at psychobabble any more. My interpretation is that his feelings are hurt and, of course, he is very depressed and vulnerable.
I've had no contact with vesper other than on this board since his suicide attempt.
Vesper, I hope you're okay, and please feel free to come back.
Noa, you are doing the right thing. Please keep taking care of yourself. That makes me happy.
This is all just my guess, Janice
Posted by Mark H. on May 3, 2000, at 2:10:29
In reply to Very worried about Vesper, Janice, Noa?, posted by Abby on May 2, 2000, at 0:56:22
How do you help someone who does not want your help? (See Vesper's "Clarification of my goodbye" 5/3/00, new post below.)
Posted by grrrilla on May 3, 2000, at 12:21:33
In reply to Re: Responsibility, Consequences, Compassion, posted by Mark H. on May 3, 2000, at 2:10:29
> How do you help someone who does not want your help? (See Vesper's "Clarification of my goodbye" 5/3/00, new post below.)
I think Vesper said that he doesn't think anyone can help which is different from not wanting help. I think depression that is severe enough to cause suicidal thoughts is most likely causing irrational thoughts anyway. So not wanting help may be part of the depression as is the hopelessness.
That still leaves the very good question, CAN anyone help, especially strangers in cyberspace?
Sometimes I add a post to somebody's "suicidal thread" more to add numbers than substance. I don't have any confidence that anything I say will make any difference. It's more a little moral support on the side of life. I know it's not much but sometimes every little bit helps.
I wonder what IS the best way to help someone who is suicidal in a place like this? Or I guess in any place at all? Has anyone ever been suicidal and helped through it by others? What helps?
{:o)
Posted by tina on May 3, 2000, at 12:27:20
In reply to Re: How can anyone help??, posted by grrrilla on May 3, 2000, at 12:21:33
> >I think just knowing how many people care about you helps a little. Vesper can't look at this board without seeing how many people will be affected by her decision, strangers in cyberspace or not. Any support is good I think.--Just a thought.
How do you help someone who does not want your help? (See Vesper's "Clarification of my goodbye" 5/3/00, new post below.)
>
> I think Vesper said that he doesn't think anyone can help which is different from not wanting help. I think depression that is severe enough to cause suicidal thoughts is most likely causing irrational thoughts anyway. So not wanting help may be part of the depression as is the hopelessness.
>
> That still leaves the very good question, CAN anyone help, especially strangers in cyberspace?
>
> Sometimes I add a post to somebody's "suicidal thread" more to add numbers than substance. I don't have any confidence that anything I say will make any difference. It's more a little moral support on the side of life. I know it's not much but sometimes every little bit helps.
>
> I wonder what IS the best way to help someone who is suicidal in a place like this? Or I guess in any place at all? Has anyone ever been suicidal and helped through it by others? What helps?
>
> {:o)
Posted by Greg on May 3, 2000, at 19:52:52
In reply to Re: Responsibility, Consequences, Compassion, posted by Mark H. on May 3, 2000, at 2:10:29
Maybe by trying to be there when they finally realize that they do need you after all? All in good time....
> How do you help someone who does not want your help? (See Vesper's "Clarification of my goodbye" 5/3/00, new post below.)
This is the end of the thread.
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