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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 376 to 400 of 545. Go back in thread:
Posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 9:20:55
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by Zena on May 31, 2004, at 9:06:12
How we react to Sandy posting or not posting is OUR issue. We can imagine she is happy, or we can imagine the worst. We can get angry at her or we can pray for her. But that's our issue to deal with...not to dump in public on Sandy. She's got enough to deal with in her own life.
People come here for support. It's their right to post or not post. It's up to us to deal with that however we can. Lean on each, pray, come to Open and vent, etc.
But here, where Sandy is reading this, gosh,...please do as my mother told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on May 31, 2004, at 12:02:41
In reply to Re: Let's Close This Thread, posted by mystic on May 31, 2004, at 0:17:58
Guys,
You just don't get it. Whether I'm talking or being silent, it seems I don't do anything but upset you. This should never have happened in the first place.
I am not looking for HELP. I am not looking to be RESCUED. I am not looking for ATTENTION. I am not looking for SOLUTIONS.
I am already DEAD. The only thing left is to follow through on the details. I do NOT want to stay here. All I do is SLEEP and SLEEP and SLEEP. And when I'm awake, all I do is DRINK and POP PILLS. Do you know my daughter got up the other night and found me "asleep" in the livingroom chair, holding onto a pill bottle?? I don't even remember that! I've lost hours and days....I can't remember what I've done. And when my mind IS working, the only thoughts I have are to finish it NOW.
The last straw is OVER. I've been dead for the past week. It makes me MAD that you won't leave me alone. What do I have to do to get you to walk away?? Yell at me...I don't care. I'm used to that. You can't hurt me. I'm already DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!! Just go back to your own business.
I am so TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is falling apart. And I can't do this for one more day. I feel like I'm walking around in the Twilight Zone.
Close the thread...PLEASE. My choice, my thread. Sorry I hurt and upset you all. I never was who you thought I was.
Sandra
Posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 12:21:57
In reply to Re: Let's Close This Thread, posted by SandyWeb on May 31, 2004, at 12:02:41
1) There is no such thing as a thread belonging to one person. All threads are open to all people. Like it or not, people can post their love and support to you. Ignore the grumps. They've got their own issues.
2) It's not possible to close a thread. They have a life of their own as long as me, and partlycloudy, and your other pals keep posting. And you can't stop us...nyah nyah. :-)
3) For the sake of your children, please call your cop friends, or any crisis number, or walk to the hospital. One too many pills and your daughter would have found you dead. She'd live with that memory forever, PTSD flashbacks forever.
Do something to shed light on your situation. It IS possible to find a shard of light in darkness.
Emmy
Posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2004, at 12:27:47
In reply to Re: Let's Close This Thread, posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 12:21:57
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 31, 2004, at 22:49:34
In reply to Re: Let's Close This Thread, posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 12:21:57
> you want to jerk us around ... i want to suceed and you dont
>
> mystic> Sandy failed Sandy. Sometimes I think she does it for attention.
>
> Zena> Ignore the grumps. They've got their own issues.
>
> EmmySI know that these are tough situtations, but I still need to ask you all not to jump to conclusions about others or to post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down.
If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by SandyWeb on May 31, 2004, at 22:58:07
In reply to Re: please be civil » mystic » Zena » EmmyS, posted by Dr. Bob on May 31, 2004, at 22:49:34
It's okay.
I came on here tonight, and it's okay. Everyone is entitled. It's okay.
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 23:47:22
In reply to Re: please be civil » mystic » Zena » EmmyS, posted by Dr. Bob on May 31, 2004, at 22:49:34
Sorry - my feathers got ruffled. Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 23:47:22
I appreciate it.
I don't do well for sticking up for myself. Thanks.
I love the ocean. I'm going to take a trek to the coastline tonight.
I want to be so far away from here. From me.
And if others think I'm a fraud....look at yourselves in the mirror tomorrow. I've been legit all along.
I lost the battle. But that's okay. Because it doesn't seem like I've lost.
Sorry for having hung around for so long. We don't die easily. But we do die.
Sandra
Posted by lonelygirl on June 1, 2004, at 0:26:21
In reply to Emmy, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
Sandy,
A few of us are in open right now... Please come on in if you want to chat. Hope to "talk" to you soon.
Posted by octopusprime on June 1, 2004, at 0:33:47
In reply to Emmy, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
Sandy,
I've not been keeping up on this thread but I've been hoping you were doing better.
There was a time in my life when I would have done exactly what you are thinking of doing.
There was a time in my life when I was the living dead, nothing but a f*cked up shell of myself in a puddle of booze and chemicals and I wanted to die. I thought I was a waste of resources, waste of space.
But even though I thought I wanted to be dead, I was wrong. I just *** didn't want to be the living dead any more ***
Sandy, do you see and understand the difference?
There are a lot of wonderful people here on this board that care about you, that will help you through this. Think about your kids.
There are options to getting through. You have to choose them.
Sandy I too was unemployed and in debt and thought I was never going to get out. I crawled out. But I made the choice.
Take somebody with you to the ocean tonight, ok?
Posted by EmmyS on June 1, 2004, at 0:38:18
In reply to Emmy, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
I think the sound of the ocean is cleansing, rejuvenating. For me, it washes away the past. It's like God gave us oceans to cleanse our minds of the past, to let us begin again. The ocean is a place of life, and new beginnings, Sandy. Go there if you need to be close to nature, to the feel the power and beauty of the gift of Life. It's a gift Sandy.
With love, Emmy
Posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 9:03:24
In reply to Emmy, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
The sound of the sea and the sight of the waves, ever changing and adapting, just flowing with whatever obstacles they find - that's how I wish all our lives could be. Just to be able to morph whenever something comes up to alter our hopes and dreams, to be able to change our expectations and not feel defeated by it.
(((Sandy))) you have not let anyone down, Sandy. Please go get help if you're close to doing something irreversible.
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 10:08:41
In reply to Re: Sandy » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on May 30, 2004, at 23:41:07
Hi girlfriend . . . I'm so happy to hear from you and that you're still among the living :-) I'm trying to get caught up after being away from my computer all weekend - lots of posts! I am totally okay with your situation and talking to you regularly or irregularly doesn't bother me. I was quite nervous not hearing from you, of course, but I understand how that goes because I'm the same way.
How are you???? Are you able to deal with whatever's happened this week? Please take it step by step, day by day okay?
You're not a bad person and not everything you do turns out badly. Not committing suicide is not a failing . . . quite the opposite, it's your spirit and will to live coming through.
Please just worry about yourself sweetie, that's enough for you to take on right now :-).
I'm not ready to give up on you. I saw this wall hanging this weekend that said "Don't return a kindness, pass it along." That's why I'm fine with you just "taking" as you say. IT IS OKAY!!!!! You'll be able to pass it along some other time in your life.
Please don't end your life. Why won't you try meds or herbs again? I have a whole bottle of 5htp I bought before I went on Lexapro so didn't take much of it. I can send it to you if you want to try it. If you could just get a little relief from your depression, it could make a huge difference.
Please call me if you want, I really don't mind talking to you in person if you think it would help, okay? 1-800-222-8215 x9507.
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm sorry I hurt you, Mystic.
>
> I'm surprised that you all didn't kick me before this point. I really, really deserve it. I am a very callous, unfeeling, self-absorbed person for not having been more attentive to your needs.
>
> This past week has been enormously draining on me. And it just is too much to share because all I do is take and take.....and never give back to you. And I'm not very pleased with the type of person I am.
>
> It's just too much. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I NEVER EVER meant to hurt any of you. I was overwhelmed that anyone even wanted to walk this course with me!!! And I thank you for sticking with me for so long.
>
> I'm not a good person, I know that. I'm very selfish, and I took you all for granted. It just was too much to keep writing to you all about "poor little me"....and I never had the energy to actually give back anything in return. I feel like a louse.
>
> I feel sick to my stomach. I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was sparing you all by not sending messages anymore. I didn't expect to still be here today. I thought it would have been over last week. And I really can't stand being such a failure. And I'm sorry for hurting you.
>
> So I guess we should close up shop now. I know you all need support, and I'm dragging you down. I can't seem to do it right...whether I talk or remain silent...I end up causing problems for you all.
>
> I *am* sorry. But this is what I do....I mess up. All my life. Forever more.
>
> Time to go to bed. I wish you all the best!! I really do.
>
> Hugs,
> Sandy
>
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 10:08:41
Linda - Nice of you to set up an 800 help line for all of us ;-)
You are SO sweet to put that out there for Sandy. You are good people. I wanted you and Sandy and JLynne etc. to see my new name in case you don't notice it below. Take care! Hugs.
Emmy...the tofu one.
emilysimon2003 at yahoo dot com
Posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » LynneDa, posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
Got drunk and passed out.
Nothing happened.
Just getting up now.
I'm just a fool. Sorry. This is too much for you guys.
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 11:23:25
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
It's not too much. We're here if you need us!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Got drunk and passed out.
>
> Nothing happened.
>
> Just getting up now.
>
> I'm just a fool. Sorry. This is too much for you guys.
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 11:30:20
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » LynneDa, posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
Hi Emmy -
I know, it's a risk to put my phone number on a website :-). I really don't mind talking to anyone who is about to burst and needs to hear a voice, though! I'm a recruiter and my number is in about 15 newspaper ads or web postings each week anyway! Thanks for letting us know your new name & email address!Your posts have been great - very sensible and to-the-point! You said some things that needed to be said. Everyone goes through these crises in their own way and can use or not use this site - there should be no obligation or guilt involved!
Sandy - so many of us have been where you've been (to a greater or lesser degree perhaps) and have lived to tell the tale. As low as you are right now you have nowhere to go but up!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Linda - Nice of you to set up an 800 help line for all of us ;-)
>
> You are SO sweet to put that out there for Sandy. You are good people. I wanted you and Sandy and JLynne etc. to see my new name in case you don't notice it below. Take care! Hugs.
>
> Emmy...the tofu one.
> emilysimon2003 at yahoo dot com
>
Posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 12:24:29
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
Sandy, you know we're still here for you. Please be kind to yourself.
pc
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 3:15:32
In reply to Never too much » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 12:24:29
Gosh, Sandy . . . I hope you don't think that I have desserted you. I have been away from the boards for awhile because of some personal family issues that needed my attention. I just got home from taking my grandsons back to my daughter and it is 1:00 a.m. on Wed. This is the first I've even peeked in since last Friday. Looks like the thread has been hopping, eh?
My mind is kind of mush right now - long hard weekend, but I will try to think of something profound to post that will put everyone in awe tomorrow after work, ok? (LOL)
For what it is worth, sweetie . . . and I haven't had time to read all the posts from the weekend . . . this is your life, and you need to remember that there is no set way to do this; we all have to discover our own answers and it all has to be done at our own pace and in our own time.
As I said, I will be profound tomorrow.
God bless you, Sandy
((((HUGS)))) ((((Sandy))))
...jlynne
Posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 9:33:38
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 3:15:32
Hi Jlynne - glad to see you back! I missed your posts, profound or not :-) Hang on tight to your surf board lady!!! I hope the anniversary passes by without too many big waves. Those dates are hard, but having feelings about them and then processing them the best you can is all a part of your healing. You are such a wise woman and I know you're on the right track!
~ Lynne
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
In reply to Re: Jlynne » jlynne, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 9:33:38
Hi jlynne,
It's good to hear from you again. Yes, you were missed. Here's hoping that you're weathering your storm fairly well. ((jlynne))
You needn't bother reading through all the messages that you missed. It basically comes down to me still being up the creek without a paddle. Lol. Nothing new about that.
I'm just getting out of bed at 2pm here. I don't do anything but sleep now. I'm going to try and take a shower now, but I feel so weak. Ugh.
Almost phoned the Mobile Crisis Line last night, but I couldn't. I would have to think that I was worth their time to bother them, and right now I don't feel worth diddly. I don't even know how to stick up for myself against my 15-year old son. I'm so tired.
Anyways, welcome back. Always good to have you around.
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Hey Sandy - Just a thought that came to me while reading your note to Jlynne:
If it weren't for people who felt so down that they didn't feel they were worth anybody's trouble, there would be no need for a mobile crisis unit . . . think on that for a minute :-).
Love ya,
Lynne
{{{{Sandra}}} {{{Jlynne}}}
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
In reply to Re: Jlynne » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
Hey girlie,
I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
Sandy
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:11:54
In reply to LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
> Hey girlie,
>
> I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
>
> SandyLynne - "Yeah, what she said!" (*smile*)
...jlynne
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Sorry, kid . . . the profundity I promised hasn't ignited the ol' synapses yet; hard to be brilliant on three hours of sleep.
Good luck with your son - I was the single mother of a 15-yr old son, too (argh!). I really think Adam and Eve must have screwed up more than what we are aware of, because NO ONE deserves the kind of punishment we get as parents of adolescents!! (yes, I like to shift blame whenever possible *smile*)
((((Sandy)))) ((((mothers))))
...jlynne
P.S. My son is now 34 yrs old and has a 10yr old son of his own (heh heh).
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