![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 187 to 211 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 8:27:19
In reply to Verbal and emotional abuse, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 8:06:25
I reject seperate but equal!!!!!
I object also to hateful humor directed against men!!!!
Comment about not hurting others to cheer ourselves up was generic.
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 8:38:05
In reply to Welcome To The Monkey House!, posted by B Day on November 8, 2000, at 15:15:25
Dear Mr. Ambassador,
Does Lumptonia have an Electoral College? If so, what is the curriculum?
Do we have a Director or Directoress of Education?
CPE
Posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Electoral College, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 8:38:05
All,
I wish to apologize for my earlier tasteless and thoughtless post. I hope that most of you realize that it was not an attempt to offend any of the ladies here, but was meant to to be a light-hearted joke. I realize now it was something I should have never done. It is unfortunetly something I cannot take back.
My wife and I joke about these issues and she knows I never mean them with any seriousness. But she is very close to me and knows my sense of humor. You don't. I meant it when I said that hold women in the highest regard and I will always feel that way.
Out of respect for those who I have offended I will withdraw my participation from this site. I wish all of you health, happiness and peace of mind.
Greg
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:02:06
In reply to Re:Designation of the Mascot, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 6:59:54
Ah, yes, I omitted the Turtle. I am sorry. Thank you for adding it to the list. Consider it a candidates.
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:11:31
In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53
Greg,
The apology is eloquent, and I hope appreciated by the people who found the humor uncomfortable, but I do not see a need to withdraw your SELF from this site. Withdraw further comments that others might find offensive, yes. But withdraw all of you? Absolutely not necessary.
I took the humor for what it was, in the context of this silly play-acting thread that has been a fun diversion for us. I am very sure (and suspect there are many others who agree) that the impression of you that some people got through the humor in question---that you are insensitive or mysoginistic (Sp?), or something like that, is inaccurate.
If it offends someone, it is their right to say so, although perhaps with less vehement language), but that does not mean that the impression that post gave them of who you are is correct, and it certainly does not mean that you should leave.
I respect your offering the apology.
I want you to stick around.
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 10:31:22
In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached--LOL » B Day, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 6:33:45
Clever Noa,
While spending the best part of recent days in his new residence, one thought kept popping into the Ambassador's mind: "Where the hell's the Havenmaster?". He was nowhere to be found. When the Ambassador was finally able to locate him, he observed the Havenmaster laying back, choosing his words to the Lumptonian femininery with great care and self-confidence.
The Ambassador considered the HM's well-crafted correspondence, compared it to his own less refined offerings and thought to himself, "Why should I have all the fun?" Understanding men as he does, the Ambassador realized that if he could but only beseech enough words from the Havenmaster, he would surely get his share! So when the Ambassador solicited the Havenmaster for The List Of Words To Be Avoided, he knew he was luring him into spooky, fun-filled waters.
However, the Ambassador had no way of knowing, that with his first step, the Havenmaster was about to plunge into the most bottomless part of the murky depths. The Ambassador was pleased to see the Havenmaster able to share his good times so much and so quickly. Enjoying the Havenmaster's drenching immensely and not wishing to interfere with the special occasion, the Ambassador thought, "I believe I'll just step out of the way for a while!"
Surely the bond between the Havenmaster and the Ambassador will be strengthened now that we have a new experience in common.
Speaking on behalf of the Havenmaster and myself; let me say we appreciate the patience shown by Lumptonia's majority sector with our clumsy diplomatic efforts and would pray for your continued forbearance until which time, with your help, the Havenmaster and I are properly trained.
Your loving Ambassador,
B
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 10:37:03
In reply to Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Greg on November 8, 2000, at 18:40:58
As the Historical Curator I see the immediate need for a constable, as the Havenmaster must be stopped before he crosses the border of Lumptonia! His assault by two tourists have made him run for his life, and the Right Honorable Historical Curator insists he is much safer in Lumptonia, where he is mostly beloved, than in the world at large. Plus, Lumptonian females/ladies/women/xx's would be left with only one male/gentleman/man/xy who spends the majority of his time on his official couch in his official dog house.
As Historical Curator, I have failed Lumptonians by not insisting that we elect a constable sooner. Or, that the Labassador appoint a constable. As our Havenmaster nears the edge...er, I mean border, we risk losing him and must act post-haste.
I personally (although the Historical Curator hates to step out of role) thought the "things not to say" were pretty astute. And funny. I think the only item missing was one about weight, or "does this make me look fat?" which he might have lost his head over.
The Right Honorable Historical Curator and High Priestess of Research
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 10:42:24
In reply to Re:Designation of the Mascot » coral, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:02:06
The Historical Curator casts her vote for the Tortoise because she has always liked the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, and how the Tortoise wins in the end. This may give Lumptonians some false hope, which is better than no hope at all.
As High Priestess of Research I will be available to monitor what may appear to be any discrepancies in the voting.
The Right Honorable HERstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> Ah, yes, I omitted the Turtle. I am sorry. Thank you for adding it to the list. Consider it a candidates.
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 10:46:21
In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Racer on November 8, 2000, at 20:39:43
> Racer says:
> I think it was nice of Greg to step in and draw the flak so that you could run back to the embassy.
>
> We should give him the Lumptonian Metal of Valor. Not a medal, you know. A metal. We'll have to discover a new one, first...
>Our Beloved Messiah,
Rest assured; no one appreciates the Havenmaster's noble gesture more than the Ambassador.
I agree, for his good will, good intent, good humor and good heart; the Havenmaster deserves honor in such fashion.
Your Ambassador,
B
Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:10:49
In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53
Thanks. Apology accepted. You have no idea how hard it was for me to stand up and object. I appreciate your reply and have no wish for you to leave the site.
> All,
>
> I wish to apologize for my earlier tasteless and thoughtless post. I hope that most of you realize that it was not an attempt to offend any of the ladies here, but was meant to to be a light-hearted joke. I realize now it was something I should have never done. It is unfortunetly something I cannot take back.
>
> My wife and I joke about these issues and she knows I never mean them with any seriousness. But she is very close to me and knows my sense of humor. You don't. I meant it when I said that hold women in the highest regard and I will always feel that way.
>
> Out of respect for those who I have offended I will withdraw my participation from this site. I wish all of you health, happiness and peace of mind.
>
> Greg
Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:22:38
In reply to Re: An Apology-Thanks Greg » Greg, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:10:49
HI Shar If you're a feminist you'll probably recognize me as one of those uppity women who doesn't know her place :o)
I think it's important to confront abuse in the place where it is happening. It's not something to sweep under the rug (or onto another thread).
I don't have any distaste or offense against Greg as a person. It was against the things he posted. I admire his sensitivity for recognizing that he was offending someone and hurting someone and taking responsibility for it.
> I agree this should stay a separate thread, and let us ignernt other females/ladies/women/xx's have a little fun in Lumptonia.
>
> When I read Greg's post, it never occurred to me that he was being insulting, because these are some of the things that have happened in relationships of mine. Ie, the PMS thing, the grey hair, not so much the misunderstanding.
>
> Having been in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship for too many years (divorced about 4 years ago and haven't dated since) I know what hurts me, I know the grinding hatred that the true misogynist uses whether in jest or while being serious. I know the shame associated with trying to live up to impossible "standards" that change in case you meet them. I know what it's like to hate myself because of the constant daily battering of verbal abuse.
>
> I believe Greg is a Good Guy, he has become a good friend (one of the only males I've ever felt safe with). If all or part of what he says offends you, you are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions, and I hope you will discuss them in this thread instead of bringing your distaste and offense for Greg into a thread where people are actually playing. Very rare for (insert diagnosis) to do; having fun.
>
> BTW, I have been a Raging Feminist since the 70's and I take no prisoners, shoot straight, with no bull. Over the years, I've mellowed some, but will not stand for openly misogynistic statements here or anywhere else in my life.
>
> Shar
>
>
>
> > I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 11:46:43
In reply to Re: Where angels fear to tread . . ., posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 4:00:38
Oh!! Most Wonderful Sterling Couch Person Extradinaire,
Once again I lay in utter amazement of the like-mindedness between us. It is as if we were one, but with two heads. I'm sure it is clear to all Lumptonia why I chose you as my Vice-Ambassador and Chief Executive Assistant.
On another tender note...
ONCE AGAIN, the Ambassador would like to apologize FOR HIS UNFORTUNATE CHOICE OF WORDS! When he identified the Sterling CPE as a "hillbilly" he was referring not to Tennessee, but Michigan. He thought that is what they call those people up there. I apologize for my error.
You see, the Ambassador himself is a southerner. He was born and raised in Kentucky, lived two years in Augusta, Georgia and has spent the most part of the last twenty-five+ years in Nashville, Tennessee. He doesn't consider himself a hillbilly either and although he does quite often go barefooted, there is no shit between his toes from having kicked some.
Apology aside, this still seems worth mentioning in light of some of our nation's current matters. We are discussing words, particularly ones like sensitivity, content, intent and rights. As an example, the Ambassador probably feels the right to call someone a hillbilly in either jest or not since he himself is one. Depending on the circumstance, the word could be either used or taken different ways. However, even though being a hillbilly himself has not made the Ambassador sensitive to it, that might not be true for some others. In contrast, the Ambassador would like to share something that he is very proud of.
The Ambassador has quite a number of African-American friends in his life and has had since he was a teenager in the sixties. In those turbulent Kentucky days he took a few ass-whippings as the result of his having affection for black people. Black people stood up for him on his behalf and he no longer had to defend himself alone. But even more they bestowed on me an honor he has worn like a badge for over thirty years. They and many others still call him "that crazy nigger".
I would hope the good people of Lumptonia understand why this is such an honor.
With affection and good intentions,
Your Ambassador,
B
Posted by S. Howard on November 9, 2000, at 12:05:28
In reply to To Greg, posted by Hannah on November 8, 2000, at 22:04:17
> > how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES)
>
> I agree. It is very offensive. I hope you reconsider posting this sort of "humor". I don't think I can change your mind but could you just respect those of us who are offended by not posting it? Perhaps you could use private e-mail for this sort of thing?
**************************************************
Sounds like somebody needs a hug!!
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:11:10
In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53
Good Havenmaster,
I hope that you will reconsider your departure from from our forum. Our nation's recent difficulties have been, well...difficult. However, the rich contributions you've made not only to Lumtonia, but other regions as well more than compensates for your faux paw.
Besides that, PUHHLLEEEEUHHZZZZZ DON'T GO,!!! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED YOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is obvious to the Ambassador, rather than an inner child, the he possesses a "little inner bastard" who takes devilish delight in messin' with people and who squeals with impish glee when it's successful.
The Ambassador promises to try to be good from now on. Please return to us.
Warmly and humbly yours,
B
Posted by S. Howard on November 9, 2000, at 12:11:16
In reply to Re: Where angels fear to tread . . ., posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 4:00:38
Coral-
Well said.
-Gracie
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:15:35
In reply to Re Reply to Hannah #2, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:22:38
Hello, Hannah.
As the Herstorical Curator of Lumptonia and High Priestess of Research, I would like to welcome you to this thread which is about Lumps, Lumptonians, Blobs, Sticky Brown Lips, the Official Walk, and all other humorous things Lumptonian. This thread consists of people playing and having fun; I'm sure you know how rare that is for us (insert diagnosis). I hope you will be able to join us.
I will warn you that not every word written here is politically or otherwise correct, The Herstorical Curator being one of the worst offenders. I can assure you, though, that every word I've read has been written in the spirit of fun, lightheartedness, playfulness, humor, and a lack of malintent, and a lack of attacks on others. I hope you can join us in this endeavor toward keeping Lumptonia safe for everyone.
Should you not be able to join us, I hope you will be able to state your negative feelings elsewhere. (The Herstorical Curator is confused about why you have insisted on continuing to post here since you have made your point in your first post.)
You've said what you needed or wanted to say about your opinion of the Havenmaster's post, and received an apology. Is there more of particular import that you wish to add? Is there anything different that you wish to say? The Herstorical Curator is confused about what should go into the Official Archives; repetition of the same position will make the archives far too voluminous.
And, the Herstorical Curator reiterates that she does not see the abuse in the post in question. Ism's don't necessarily equal abuse, in the HC's esteemed opinion. "Ism" means that one group is treated in a distinctly separate way from another, usually to their detriment. Here in Lumptonia, when writing with humor, I venture to say that the particular ism (sexism) to which you refer was barely even that. A parody of relationships, yes; but a serious denigration or discrimination against women? The HC would need to make a lonnnggg stretch to get to that point.
If you wish to stay in Lumptonia, you are welcome. If you wish to draw the HC (and perhaps others who share the HC's position) into your reality and experience, and into the hatred of misogyny and abuse, that is not as welcome.
However, the HC realizes by your insistence in posting on this thread, you may not care about what impact you are having on the others here, since you continue to post here. The HC would not expect that to change in the future, but desperately hopes that, having stated your position fully and in more than one post here, you can join us in fun or leave us to our fun.
The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> HI Shar If you're a feminist you'll probably recognize me as one of those uppity women who doesn't know her place :o)
>
> I think it's important to confront abuse in the place where it is happening. It's not something to sweep under the rug (or onto another thread).
>
> I don't have any distaste or offense against Greg as a person. It was against the things he posted. I admire his sensitivity for recognizing that he was offending someone and hurting someone and taking responsibility for it.
>
>
>
>
> > I agree this should stay a separate thread, and let us ignernt other females/ladies/women/xx's have a little fun in Lumptonia.
> >
> > When I read Greg's post, it never occurred to me that he was being insulting, because these are some of the things that have happened in relationships of mine. Ie, the PMS thing, the grey hair, not so much the misunderstanding.
> >
> > Having been in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship for too many years (divorced about 4 years ago and haven't dated since) I know what hurts me, I know the grinding hatred that the true misogynist uses whether in jest or while being serious. I know the shame associated with trying to live up to impossible "standards" that change in case you meet them. I know what it's like to hate myself because of the constant daily battering of verbal abuse.
> >
> > I believe Greg is a Good Guy, he has become a good friend (one of the only males I've ever felt safe with). If all or part of what he says offends you, you are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions, and I hope you will discuss them in this thread instead of bringing your distaste and offense for Greg into a thread where people are actually playing. Very rare for (insert diagnosis) to do; having fun.
> >
> > BTW, I have been a Raging Feminist since the 70's and I take no prisoners, shoot straight, with no bull. Over the years, I've mellowed some, but will not stand for openly misogynistic statements here or anywhere else in my life.
> >
> > Shar
> >
> >
> >
> > > I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.
>
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 12:20:59
In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53
Dear Greg,
As a highly educated, extremely intelligent female who likes to think of herself as a lady as well as a feminist, I found your post not in the least offensive. I took it in the spirit it was intended and found great humor in it.
PLEASE do not leave Lumptonia. Please!!!!
Couch Person Extraordinaire (CPE) now sobbing hysterically at the thought of your departure....
:::are the tears working??? Another feminine wile, especially of the southern species of females....::::: Please don't make me resort to the vapors on the fainting couch! It's all the way in the front of the house in the parlor!!!
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:25:58
In reply to Re: An Apology » Greg, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:11:10
Good Havenmaster,
I too beseech you not to go away. However, I warn you that it will be a cold day in h_ll before our "Esteemed" Ambassador will be good. He is a tricky one, and just admitted (in a separate proclamation) that he is a crazy hillbilly as well.Please return to us.
The Right Honorable Historical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> Good Havenmaster,
>
> I hope that you will reconsider your departure from from our forum. Our nation's recent difficulties have been, well...difficult. However, the rich contributions you've made not only to Lumtonia, but other regions as well more than compensates for your faux paw.
>
> Besides that, PUHHLLEEEEUHHZZZZZ DON'T GO,!!! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED YOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> It is obvious to the Ambassador, rather than an inner child, the he possesses a "little inner bastard" who takes devilish delight in messin' with people and who squeals with impish glee when it's successful.
>
> The Ambassador promises to try to be good from now on. Please return to us.
>
> Warmly and humbly yours,
>
> B
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 12:27:23
In reply to HC yells: Arrest that man!, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 10:37:03
Dear HC,
I volunteer! I even have the appropriate whip!It's a gorgeous, ivory-handed fox-hunting whip and it can be effective in capturing the fleeing HM without having to leave my saddle . . .ehh...couch... COUCH!!!!
CPE Couch Person Equestrian
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 12:31:21
In reply to New Citizen of Lumptonia » Hannah, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:15:35
> Hello, Hannah.
>
> As the Herstorical Curator of Lumptonia and High Priestess of Research, I would like to welcome you to this thread which is about Lumps, Lumptonians, Blobs, Sticky Brown Lips, the Official Walk, and all other humorous things Lumptonian. This thread consists of people playing and having fun; I'm sure you know how rare that is for us (insert diagnosis). I hope you will be able to join us.
>
> I will warn you that not every word written here is politically or otherwise correct, The Herstorical Curator being one of the worst offenders. I can assure you, though, that every word I've read has been written in the spirit of fun, lightheartedness, playfulness, humor, and a lack of malintent, and a lack of attacks on others. I hope you can join us in this endeavor toward keeping Lumptonia safe for everyone.
>
> Should you not be able to join us, I hope you will be able to state your negative feelings elsewhere. (The Herstorical Curator is confused about why you have insisted on continuing to post here since you have made your point in your first post.)
>
> You've said what you needed or wanted to say about your opinion of the Havenmaster's post, and received an apology. Is there more of particular import that you wish to add? Is there anything different that you wish to say? The Herstorical Curator is confused about what should go into the Official Archives; repetition of the same position will make the archives far too voluminous.
>
> And, the Herstorical Curator reiterates that she does not see the abuse in the post in question. Ism's don't necessarily equal abuse, in the HC's esteemed opinion. "Ism" means that one group is treated in a distinctly separate way from another, usually to their detriment. Here in Lumptonia, when writing with humor, I venture to say that the particular ism (sexism) to which you refer was barely even that. A parody of relationships, yes; but a serious denigration or discrimination against women? The HC would need to make a lonnnggg stretch to get to that point.
>
> If you wish to stay in Lumptonia, you are welcome. If you wish to draw the HC (and perhaps others who share the HC's position) into your reality and experience, and into the hatred of misogyny and abuse, that is not as welcome.
>
> However, the HC realizes by your insistence in posting on this thread, you may not care about what impact you are having on the others here, since you continue to post here. The HC would not expect that to change in the future, but desperately hopes that, having stated your position fully and in more than one post here, you can join us in fun or leave us to our fun.
>
> The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
>
>
>
>
> > HI Shar If you're a feminist you'll probably recognize me as one of those uppity women who doesn't know her place :o)
> >
> > I think it's important to confront abuse in the place where it is happening. It's not something to sweep under the rug (or onto another thread).
> >
> > I don't have any distaste or offense against Greg as a person. It was against the things he posted. I admire his sensitivity for recognizing that he was offending someone and hurting someone and taking responsibility for it.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > I agree this should stay a separate thread, and let us ignernt other females/ladies/women/xx's have a little fun in Lumptonia.
> > >
> > > When I read Greg's post, it never occurred to me that he was being insulting, because these are some of the things that have happened in relationships of mine. Ie, the PMS thing, the grey hair, not so much the misunderstanding.
> > >
> > > Having been in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship for too many years (divorced about 4 years ago and haven't dated since) I know what hurts me, I know the grinding hatred that the true misogynist uses whether in jest or while being serious. I know the shame associated with trying to live up to impossible "standards" that change in case you meet them. I know what it's like to hate myself because of the constant daily battering of verbal abuse.
> > >
> > > I believe Greg is a Good Guy, he has become a good friend (one of the only males I've ever felt safe with). If all or part of what he says offends you, you are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions, and I hope you will discuss them in this thread instead of bringing your distaste and offense for Greg into a thread where people are actually playing. Very rare for (insert diagnosis) to do; having fun.
> > >
> > > BTW, I have been a Raging Feminist since the 70's and I take no prisoners, shoot straight, with no bull. Over the years, I've mellowed some, but will not stand for openly misogynistic statements here or anywhere else in my life.
> > >
> > > Shar
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.
> >
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:46:40
In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia, posted by Emmanuela on November 8, 2000, at 22:49:30
> As Prime Ministress, but more importantly, National Choreographer, we're considering whether our esteemed Ambassador needs a Spell Checker (a position needing to be filled), or needs to simply pantomime his thoughts and words. Being politically astute, the Prime Ministress is finding it more and more difficult to believe that our esteemed Ambassador would inadvertently transpose words.
> We may be asking for a recount.
>Dearest Prime Ministeress Emmanuela,
The Ambassador's eyeballs stared in horror and disbelief at the implication of the confused sentence which his new fingers wrote. His eyeballs then glared at his new fingers, but the fingers only pointed back accusingly. Concerned with these strange manifestations the Ambassador contacted The Personal Medical Council To The Ambassador.
The three council members quickly diagnosed the problem which, as it turns out, emanates from two of the lower regions of the Ambassador's private area. They assured the Ambassador that the condition was easily remediable, but preferred he take the matter in his own hands. By doing so they believe his condition and it's associated discoloration will soon disappear.
On a positive note they all agreed that particular shade of blue matches the Ambassador's eyes very well.
Your loving Labrassator,
B
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:58:59
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man!, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 12:27:23
Yes, quickly, catch a fast one that looks like it can run and out to the borders of Lumptonia please ride. Fast as the west Texas wind!
Now, I am writing as fast as I can in the Official Archives, ...ivory handed...fox hunting...whip. Whip? (A side of the CPE I'm sure none but her WH knew existed!) I will be contacting you later for more detailed information on the various uses of your whip. I assume it's a long one so you can flick it from your couch and get someone's attention.
Have you knee-high boots as well? Leather vest? Leather dog collar with spikes? It seems so unlikely......
The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> Dear HC,
>
> I volunteer! I even have the appropriate whip!It's a gorgeous, ivory-handed fox-hunting whip and it can be effective in capturing the fleeing HM without having to leave my saddle . . .ehh...couch... COUCH!!!!
>
> CPE Couch Person Equestrian
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 13:08:44
In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:46:40
Esteemed Labassator,
I hate to beat a dead horse (so to speak), but must I remind you once again that you need to be ready to salute the single Lumptonian females on demand? Should you insist upon relieving yourself of this responsibility (so to speak) you might find yourself in the midst of an uprising, or in midst of an angry group if no uprising occurs. Ssssiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I am amazed how often I must remind you of your responsibility, and still you take things into your own hands!
To the Doghouse!
The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> > As Prime Ministress, but more importantly, National Choreographer, we're considering whether our esteemed Ambassador needs a Spell Checker (a position needing to be filled), or needs to simply pantomime his thoughts and words. Being politically astute, the Prime Ministress is finding it more and more difficult to believe that our esteemed Ambassador would inadvertently transpose words.
> > We may be asking for a recount.
> >
>
> Dearest Prime Ministeress Emmanuela,
>
> The Ambassador's eyeballs stared in horror and disbelief at the implication of the confused sentence which his new fingers wrote. His eyeballs then glared at his new fingers, but the fingers only pointed back accusingly. Concerned with these strange manifestations the Ambassador contacted The Personal Medical Council To The Ambassador.
>
> The three council members quickly diagnosed the problem which, as it turns out, emanates from two of the lower regions of the Ambassador's private area. They assured the Ambassador that the condition was easily remediable, but preferred he take the matter in his own hands. By doing so they believe his condition and it's associated discoloration will soon disappear.
>
> On a positive note they all agreed that particular shade of blue matches the Ambassador's eyes very well.
>
> Your loving Labrassator,
>
> B
Posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 13:29:18
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man! » coral, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:58:59
Secondly, this was posted with a new subjectline, and thus stuck far far away from our Circle of Lumptoniasticists.
Choreographic Blessings
Upon Noa - Having slimed my way to the computer, the Official Stance exaggerated so that the loose limbed
useless arms were hanging even lower, being unable to fight (what a silly anti-Lumptoniastic concept!) off the
crawling anxiety and depression, noa's Voting in Butterflies brought a loud guffaw to my normally demure
demeanor. Blessings on you noa. Thank you.
Your National Choreographer.Firstly, And this for all the Citizenry: I am at this very moment Choreographing a Re-entry Shuffle for Greg. There has been a Recount, and lo! and behold, Greg is deeply esteemed and deeply wanted and deeply out of the doo-doo in which he was mistakenly placed. If Greg continues in this vein of leaving, I shall need to (just the thought of it makes a nap imperative now) choreograph yet another dance in which Shar, Coral, Labadassador, noa, and S.Howard will need to learn the movements to a 'Come Hither' Dance. Would you actually put us all through this? We beg you, stand up and make your Acceptance Speech and come back to The Fold - we need you. It is simply too hard of a burden for the Ambassador to bear the nether shades of blue all by Himself. We shall provide succor and even ice cream to the hurting heart of our Havenmaster.
Being the Prime Ministress, you'll need to do what I say, or be, and we ain't just whistling Dixie, truly Politically Incorrect.Respectfully as always, your Prima Ministrette and Knashunul Koreogrupher (and tell me, really, you can be honest, do I look fat in this tutu?)
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 13:36:06
In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:46:40
Calmer now, the Ambassador is VERY encouraged by the results of his first self-administered treatment as was suggested by his physicians and as we speak, issuhh beguhinn-ning his s-second wunn.
Heeee uh, w-w-wooooooehhhhld like to ummmmmmmmmmmmhhfff ...thank the good people uuuuhhhhvvvvv ...Lumptonzia for theirt5 sssshhhheeeeewwwwweeeeeee!!!! p[ati8ent under bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh! ...st6andingb and ho-o-o-o-opes-s-s-sooooooon to beeeeeeoooOOOOWWWWHH!...hisssssssshit! o;ldx selfffffffffffffh azgain.
Guh-guh-guuuhotttttaaa go0p-[=.
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