![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 34 to 58 of 91. Go back in thread:
Posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 7:35:00
In reply to Re: Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ..., posted by Jost on August 17, 2006, at 23:25:33
Well Jost, this exercise may improve your self-esteem if you can allow it to.
Rather than bemoan the fact that you "laziness consumes all available time", why don't you celebrate the fact that you have been taking it easy, relaxing in the Summertime?
Rather than wish that you "would read some", take heart in the fact that you have been reading Babble. Perhaps tomorrow you can add something that has more fiction and fantasy. In fact, turn off the computer RIGHT NOW, and go find something worthwhile to read.
And, it seems that you got in bed around midnight, central standard time (which is Babble's best hour of the day, by the way). Wasn't that one of your goals a few days ago?
I'm so glad that the Daily Show brought back enough faith in the TV as medium and entertainment that you were able to keep it on an additional half hour. That's wonderful.
All in all, a pretty good day. I envy you for having Cable. Can you do your exercises before you do anything else in the morning? Get it out of your way, so that the rest of the day will start off on the right (left?) foot?
ta ta,
-llOh yeah-- one of your goals, hypothetically, could be a resolution to set more affirming and attainable goals. Just a thought...
Posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 8:57:22
In reply to But Failure **is** a profession » Poet, posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 21:53:04
Posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 9:03:17
In reply to Re: But Failure **is** a profession (nm), posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 8:57:22
So I don't have to be ashamed for thinking my career is failure? I'm not in the scientific field, but I suppose the same philosophy could apply elsewhere. Interesting.
Poet
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 11:28:09
In reply to Re: Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ... » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 7:35:00
> Well Jost, this exercise may improve your self-esteem if you can allow it to.
>
> Rather than bemoan the fact that you "laziness consumes all available time", why don't you celebrate the fact that you have been taking it easy, relaxing in the Summertime?---It doesn't confine itself to summer, Unf. But okay, I'll stop the bemoaning. Although the hand-wringing may take more time.
>
> Rather than wish that you "would read some", take heart in the fact that you have been reading Babble. Perhaps tomorrow you can add something that has more fiction and fantasy. In fact, turn off the computer RIGHT NOW, and go find something worthwhile to read.
>
> And, it seems that you got in bed around midnight, central standard time (which is Babble's best hour of the day, by the way). Wasn't that one of your goals a few days ago?---It is Babble's best hour, but it's actually 1 am here on the mouth of the Hudson. Although I did get to sleep by about 1:30 am, which is pretty good.
>
> I'm so glad that the Daily Show brought back enough faith in the TV as medium and entertainment that you were able to keep it on an additional half hour. That's wonderful.Yeah, the Daily Show helps with the two-hour television minimum and has restored my faith in humanity. That plus the Colbert Report. I got HBO a few days ago, and other than a silly but rather entertaining potboiler about Saladin's conquest of Jerusalem, there's nothing on there. I can give you a list of about 20 bad movies I'd never heard of before, though.
>
> All in all, a pretty good day. I envy you for having Cable.No Cable?????!!! You poor poor suffering Childe. No wonder the druggist was afraid to fill your prescriptions. People suffering from cable-deprivation are notoriously easily infuriated. You must get cable hookup. You don't want to miss Project Runway, do you? Or Countdown with Keith Olbermann? or or um--well the Daily Show and Colbert R, and oh yeah, Blade: the Series (Grrrrr, crash, bang, clattter, huhhuhHUH, moan, fssst, bang, eeeeeee!-- yeah, it;s mostly sound-effects with some good fake blood puddles)?
> Can you do your exercises before you do anything else in the morning? Get it out of your way, so that the rest of the day will start off on the right (left?) foot?---Great suggestion, ll. I'm going to follow you advice. Gee, you're a whiz.
> ta ta,
> -ll
>
> Oh yeah-- one of your goals, hypothetically, could be a resolution to set more affirming and attainable goals. Just a thought...Oh. Yah. That. Good point. I'll work on it while doing my exercises.
So my goals for today,
1. do exercises, before work at 2:30
2. read for 45 minutes, today
3. get into bed by 11:15 pm EDT. (Even if I will miss out on the apex of Babbleonia. (sigh))Gosh, ll, you're great! thanks.
Jost
Posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
In reply to Forget to include message, posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 9:03:17
"Forgot to include message"? YOU'RE A NATURAL!!!
> So I don't have to be ashamed for thinking my career is failure? I'm not in the scientific field, but I suppose the same philosophy could apply elsewhere. Interesting.
Some of the greatest failures in history have been philosophers because when they fail, the can fail BIG and it can take hundreds if not THOUSANDS of years for civilization to recover.
Take Aristotle. It took about 1400 years before Galileo came along and got rid of Ari's notion that bodies in motion naturally came to rest. Newton took advantage of that, but even today studies of "naive science" -- what people believe without or inspite of any particular study or instruction -- shows that Aristotle's ideas naturally come to rest in people's heads.
Now, if you want to point at a really harmful, malicious failure -- particularly for us Babble-onians -- point all your fingers at Rene Descartes. He gets the dubious credit of popularizing mind/body dualism in Western thought to the extent that our "scientific" methodologies still largely reject the notion of one's "mind" being integral to one's "body".Next time someone tells you "it's all in your mind" tell them "it's not MY fault, it's Descartes' fault!" or, if you prefer a more disdainful response, "It's not MY fault you're a slave to a belief system that sees the term 'independent thought' as a truism and not an oxymoron!"
How do you think scientists learned to become professional failures? Karl Popper, philosopher and champion of empiricism based on falsification. Before Popper, scientists were all trying to prove themselves right. After Popper, scientists really really started trying to prove everyone else was wrong while they took some shots at their own views as well. As a result, science has blossomed due to its pursuit of failure!Now, the really kewl thing about Popper and falsification is that if you base your argument on statistics and probability (most of the hard and soft sciences do, to some extent or another) you can NEVER rule out the chance that your demonstration that something was wrong was, in fact, an error! Popper failed at being able to fully describe when you knew you were a failure and were right versus when you knew you were a failure and were wrong.
So, if you're still with me (or if you're just skipping to the bottom of the post to see if anything interesting has happened):1) We have no idea of knowing whether anything we know is right or wrong, and
2) You can blame Descartes for just about anything if you grew up in a Western Culture anytime in the last 200 or so years, particularly if you are talking about being accused of "making it all up" when it comes to whatever disorder you have.
Scientists are still stuck in empiricism, so when it comes to failure they can take it to heart, but usually restrict it to their sensory organs and their brain neurochemistry (where they think their "mind" is .... or isn't).
But Poet! A Philosopher?! You can take failure to infinity, and beyond! You can truly become one of the greatest failures of all time and be proud of it. I mean, Darwin Award winners wind up the butt of internet jokes for a few years, but philosophers get their busts carved in marble for all ages.
((((((((((sigh!))))))))))
... oops. My bad. You didn't say you WERE a philosopher. Well, as you can see, I highly recommend the field and just about any other academic discipline has its own branch of philosophy ... you know, like literary theory and stuff like that.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
In reply to Re: Forget to include message, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
I think I overdid it with making lists and crossing stuff off. You'll all be happy to know that Babble was on my list of to-dos.
I have been very energetic, but my list did not take the following situations into account
1) coworker had emergency, asked me to show up at work immediately (i.e. an hour earlier that I had planned)
2) pharmacy screwed up my refill not once, not twice, but THREE times.
3) an appointment that no-showed earlier this week just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought it appropriate to 'drop by...' this afternoon. NOTE: I was on babble-chat at the time. I had to leave really suddenly. Sorry!
4) it was raining.
Anyways, I planned too much stuff. I think I got the most important things done, but I wore myself out doing it. And I felt really down, and started to pull into the depressed place. I'm feeling better now. Being at home, safe, quiet, in front of the babble-screen kind of calms me down, for the most part.
I'm cancelling the rest of my to-do list for the day. that's my goal.
-ll
Posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 21:55:38
In reply to Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
DOH! I forgot about my goal. Does "passing out at the keyboard" count as "sleep"?
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 22:59:44
In reply to Re: Forget to include message, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
Finelineb, is there any chance you're obsessed with this failure thing?
Cause if so, I think there's a book to be written: The Human History of Failure, Parts I,II, and III. (There could be as many parts as you want.)
You'd have so much material. It's almost hard to know where to begin.
There's crying need for that book. This seems like the perfect historical moment for it, too.
Jost
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 23:06:15
In reply to Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
Ll, good job!
I'm getting into bed now, which is either a failure (it's 45 minutes after my stated time of 11:15 pm)
or a raving success, given my usual in-bed hour, which is more like 1:45-55 am.
But I have no time to lose.
See you tomorrow. Metaphorically, of course-- unless we need to meet at your local pharmacy to pick up some fine literature (and a few thousand cans of Redbull).
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:15:09
In reply to Re: Umm, I think I overdid it » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 23:06:15
Goals for SATURDAY
Wake up on time
(yep--- but I woke up early again. pray that this is not a recurrance of insomnia)Pack my crap
(yep--- no liquids or gels in my carryon. apparently cherries are okay?)Catch the bus & train without getting robbed or breaking my ankle
(yep)Get through security without losing my cool
(yep)*************
The rest of the day's goals:
1) not to get stressed out on the plane, especially important if I end up sitting next to a difficult passenger.2) to have quality time with my cat. I will post some pictures soon. She just got a hairdo.
3) have quality time with my husband. dinner and a movie date?
4) to not spend to much time on psycho-babble that husband says "why are you hanging out with psychos so much? hang out with me!" [please don't be offended. my husband is kind, but has little understanding of mental illness. I stick up for my babble-buddies all the time-- you guys aren't psychos!
5) to completely ignore my work, and the office life for a whole weekend.
--this goal failed already. a meek coworker sent me e-mails at 3am AND 5am, because she thought something I said was rude and mean. And I sent her another e-mail to apologize for my e-mails, and then I gave her some advice on getting along in a caustic brew of twenty-something ambitious women that is called our "office". [or lab, depending on your perspective]. I think we had a good conversation. I used a lot of tricks that I have been practicing on psycho-babble. Being supportive, non-confrontational, and trying to give advice without sounding too bossy. I feel a lot better now. The air is cleared between us. I think she's a genuinely nice person, but she's very needy, and very uncertain. She tries my patience. Oh well.
6) Eat ice-cream, ideally. Or, perhaps a nice chunk of Schokolade. I have a 500gram (that's over a POUND!) of pure alpine milk chocolate in my bag. YUM! but I cannot eat it all at once. I'll try and share at least a crumb or two with my friends!
********************
Thank you for reading my goals. I know it's boring, but it's my life. I'm kinda long-winded. Oh well.
********************Self-Esteem status report:
Medium Rare~ Seared on the outside, but still pretty raw inside. At least my heart's not bleeding from guilt. I feel like I have gone to the dark side of the evil office gossip mill, and been a bad friend to the meek one. I'm not feeling too attractive today. Couldn't bring myself to do any grooming above and beyond shower and hairwash. oh. I guess I'm wearing earrings. I look like a slop. A pimply slop. And I was critical of my blubber, which I haven't done in a few weeks. hmm.
I wish I could put me in a crate, tranquilize me, and ship me to my final destination, like the Elephant I am.
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:17:57
In reply to Re: Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 21:55:38
> DOH! I forgot about my goal. Does "passing out at the keyboard" count as "sleep"?
Well, if the computer went to 'sleep mode' then it counts. If, on the other hand, you were actually posting while passed out, NO, that does not count as sleep. It counts as PWzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [posting while sleeping]
It's okay. If your forget your goal, you can just refer back to your previous posts.
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:23:52
In reply to Re: Forget to include message » finelinebob, posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 22:59:44
> Cause if so, I think there's a book to be written: The Human History of Failure, Parts I,II, and III. (There could be as many parts as you want.)
>
> You'd have so much material. It's almost hard to know where to begin.
>
> There's crying need for that book. This seems like the perfect historical moment for it, too.
>
Jost, I was going to write my dissertation on failure. but I couldn't. I didn't even try. Now I'm studying the subject of failure. It's very interdisciplinary. I can experience failure in any branch of academia.PHYSICS F
ARCHERY F
SPECTROSCOPY & NUCLEAR MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING F
ETHNOMUSICOLOGY F
THE ENGLISH NOVEL F
LINEAR ALGEBRA F-
PRIMATE NERVOUS SYSTEMS F
INTRO TO BALLROOM DANCING F
DOKTOR FAUSTUS Fyou see? There are so many opportunities to study failure!
-ll
Posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 12:09:44
In reply to Goals for Saturday, posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:15:09
LLrrrppp
You're a Peach, a PeaRL.
A woRLd tRaveLLeR.
You've accomplished more in three days than I have in---ooops-- self esteem board, forgot what I was going to say,
but you're too much.
Have a great visit with your H.
Jost
Posted by Poet on August 19, 2006, at 17:28:08
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 12:09:44
I went to all five water aerobics classes. Even Friday night- even when my husband couldn't wait until I got home to order pizza, so there it was on the table as I was filling my water bottle to head to class. I could have stayed home, but I didn't. I ate it cold (which is okay I like cold pizza) after class and washed it down with wine. Also cold.
Poet
Posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 22:08:54
In reply to Failing to fail! The ultimate failure! » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:23:52
Ll,
It is impossible to get an F in "The English Novel." I know this for a fact.
Jost
Posted by finelinebob on August 19, 2006, at 23:37:22
In reply to Re: Failing to fail! The ultimate failure!, posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 22:08:54
> Ll,
>
> It is impossible to get an F in "The English Novel." I know this for a fact.
>
> JostROFLMAO! That reminds me of one of my greatest failures: Physics 401.
It was the gatekeeper class to the higher mysteries (physics courses with numbers bigger than 401) and it was obvious I was doing terribly. If I didn't learn this stuff, trying to comprehend the even more complicated stuff would have been ludicrous.
So, I devised my Plan.
If I just did poorly, I could take the class again for no credit ... but what's the point in that? If I ***failed***, tho, I could take the course again for credit and the grades would be averaged on my record! I could take it again and having been through it once, and putting a little more effort into it, I could get an A!! Overall, I come out of it with a C and a much better understanding of the material.
So, I had already received D after D on all my tests. I thought this was a no-brainer, going into the final. I made a half-hearted attempt at half the test, then spent the rest of the designated time writing "I repeat myself while under stress" over and over again on the desktop. I handed in the test, one of the last to leave the room (talk about your self-torture!) and left convinced I had bagged an F in that class.
Then that bastage of a professor had to go and give me a C- in the class.
Yet another failure to fail. I couldn't take the class again for credit. I should have complained to the dean, but I probably would have lost that argument, too.
Posted by Poet on August 20, 2006, at 0:28:22
In reply to Re: Forget to include message, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
Hi finelinebob,
Me a natural failure? If it's true I'm kind of proud. Wait, pride is self esteem, and failures don't have self esteem therefore... I really did get a F in geometry those damn indirect proofs tripped me up every time.
Poet
Posted by finelinebob on August 20, 2006, at 0:49:13
In reply to Re: Forget to include message » finelinebob, posted by Poet on August 20, 2006, at 0:28:22
Ah, but pride is sinful, so you've really mucked things up now.
If you think you can use pride over being a natural failure as a demonstration of self-esteem which is inconsistent with failure and then getting an F in geometry as a proof of your lack of self-esteem, well you just got tripped up again by one of those indirect proofs, dearie. You've failed, naturally, yet again in demonstrating that you have no self-esteem.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 20, 2006, at 9:30:10
In reply to Re: Forget to include message » Poet, posted by finelinebob on August 20, 2006, at 0:49:13
I accomplished all Saturday goals, including raspberry sorbet with raspberries on top (note to curtm- no lemon sorbet at coldstone). I took pics of the cat. I will post them today, I think!
Sunday goals
Try not to sleep too much (I forgot my bottle of provigil @ home. I'm going to have to wait a few days until my friend can mail it to me)
Try to fix this computer, which has an archived copy of the entire hard-drive somewhere on the hard-drive. Have to find the archives, restore the music library and clean up all the permissions. Oh, and the best thing is that I have to install a printer, which started off this whole mess. The computer guy @ the store reformatted the harddrive, but neglected to install any of the printer drivers. grr!other goal is to? I forgot already Oh goody, I've been up for 20 minutes, and I'm already ready for a nap! Well, it's sunday :)
-ll
Posted by Jost on August 20, 2006, at 12:45:51
In reply to Goals for Saturday [update] and Sunday, posted by llrrrpp on August 20, 2006, at 9:30:10
Can;t remember. One of my goals yesterday was not to get involved on Admin. board. Did that. +++
Read for about 40 min.--although it was at 3 am. Ggugh. +-
Tried to make arrangements with someone I'm working with for week after I come back from hideous vacation that I agreed to go on with Sig O, and now am stuck going on. Sigh.
anyway, person starts saying, oh I can only work twice that week?? And I go, oh, okay. Well I have lots of time... so whenever you want to work???... and she said, I don't know my schedule but my classes at *** are over, so I'm going to take some classes at **** (excitement!)... and I say, oh. ..? [yeah...but remember you said when your classes were over you would have So Much Time To Work.....? I didn't say this, though).....
and she said, so, maybe twice that week???? and I said, well email me..... (and it da*n well better be at least three times, da*m it).... and she said, okay, I'll email.
Why can't I just tell her, "You Said We Were Going To Work More Often After Your [da*n] Classes Were Over , REMEMBER... remember you said that, every time you cancelled work when you had rehearsals/auditions/etc/soccer match final you "had" to watch/friend was coming to stay with you and etc/etc/etc????? and when you also said you were going home for 1-3 months instead of staying here for the year--so we would have to stop working at the end of September--for at least 1-3 months (if you don't change your mind completely by then, which is entirely possible)???"
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 20, 2006, at 14:08:49
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday [update] and Sunday » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 20, 2006, at 12:45:51
Good for you Jost, to stay off of Admin board. I find it so diificult to stay off. My last post bordered on hostile. I'm determined to stay off until September begins.
Can you tell this coworker that you were looking forward to the end of her classes so that you could get some serious work done on the project? Can you ask her right now, what her level of committment is on the project?
Can you ask her to tell you her schedule for the month of August and Sept, so that you can schedule your life too?
Sounds super frustrating. Well, I hope it doesn't affect your self-esteem. Is she 2nd author? (metaphorically speaking). Do you have any control or authority over her? Are there any consequences for her lack of effort?
Better just to clear things up at this point than to bottle up the frustration and let it boil over into the wee hours of the morning...
I hope your hideous vacation is not all hideous. Bring a camera, and try to take a picture of something neat every day. Even if it's just a baroque crack in a side walk. Grin and bear it. Take a lone walk if you need it, and don't forget the ice cream. Take some time for yourself, in the midst of all the hideousness- read a book, or get a frappucino. yawn. nap. etc.
Cheer up Jost! It's Sunday, and I think it's sunny where you are.
-ll
Posted by finelinebob on August 20, 2006, at 22:54:43
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday [update] and Sunday » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 20, 2006, at 14:08:49
Do my laundry in-between posts and quick enough to get to bed early enough so I can actually wake up for work. w00t! here I go....
Posted by Jost on August 21, 2006, at 0:29:51
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday [update] and Sunday » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 20, 2006, at 14:08:49
I wrote my co-worker an email to that effect.
Unfortunately, she's both more and less than a co-author. I need her a whole lot more than she needs me-- let's put it that way.
Unless some form of self-interest on her part coincides with my self-interest in this project-- and my self-interest unf. is much more--or deeper-- than hers-- I'm screwed.
Not that I doubt her intentions--if she exactly has them-- but they don't carry her that far. Although I do wonder when people don't bring this up-- after having made representations to the contrary--until they moment they're leaving-- or I bring it up. The ad-hocness of her reasons bothers me. Most people try to make it some obscure necessity, or some compelling out-of-their control force.
Either way, it's so the opposite of the way I am-- that I never quite believe that people are being calculating, or not doing their utmost to meet their commitment. But it is really obvious that they see me as pretty expendable, not in a mean way, just in a zero-sum way, where they're more determined (in a probably very good way) to be one, despite my then being zero, than I have to make it the other way around-- even if it should go the other way, for many reasons.
It's no use getting mad. Or, I should say, staying mad. It doesn't work for me. It does boil up every so often, and then I squelch it. It's about me and my work-- and I guess it's hard to feel that it's that important.
But I have to get more focussed on doing what I need to do, internally (ie working), and trying to put a little more pressure-- ie some--I mean being honest that I"m not happy, but not as if I'm mad-- that she did say she would do more, and that I expect her to do it. But if she doesn't, well, I'm disappointed. Period. Then move on.
I guess? I'm not good at this sort of thing.
So where are you now?
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 21, 2006, at 16:56:47
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday [update] and Sunday » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 21, 2006, at 0:29:51
My goal for today is to stay awake (when necessary) and not lose my cool. You see, I'm away from home and I have forgotten one of my medications (provigil). Had an important errand to run, so no work for me today.
Let's see- nap from 8-9, 10-11, 12-12:30, 4:30-5:15. I'm in bad shape. Husband asked me which one of my meds is making me so sleepy. I said, probably the AD (cymbalta 90 mg). Why are you still taking it, he asked. Umm, because I'd rather be sleepy and happy than wide awake and wanting to kill myself. Asked if I was planning to be on these the rest of my life. um no, now, let me get back to sleep ZZZZzzzz. I'm about to pass out right now.
Fortunately, a friend is mailing my provigil to me and it should get here tomorrow or wednesday at the latest. *yawn*
In the meanwhile, my cat and I are on the same schedule, roughly.
-ll
p.s. I haven't lost my cool yet. hard to keep a good temper when so groggy, though.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 21, 2006, at 16:57:47
In reply to I have a new goal!!!!, posted by finelinebob on August 20, 2006, at 22:54:43
Sounds great flb! I hope you get everything done, or at least enough so that you can wear clean clothes for the next few days :o)
-ll
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