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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 24 to 48 of 91. Go back in thread:
Posted by llrrrpp on August 16, 2006, at 22:32:41
In reply to Goals for tomorrow, posted by llrrrpp on August 15, 2006, at 23:09:39
My most important goal was to ask T about how many sessions I get. We've never had the conversation about how many sessions to expect, or what our long-term goals are.
And so I asked at the end, and I was SO happy. T said that I can continue therapy as long as I need, and make appointments as needed, and that he would be there as a safety net. Isn't that great? I can decide when I'm doing okay, and when I'm needing help, and know that I have a person there for me? That I won't need to start over with a new T.
He said that I've come a long way, and that I am no longer 'in bad shape' as I was earlier. I'm happy that my progress does not mean that I am to be denied support in the future, as I had feared.
((((feeling warm and fuzzies from my T for the first time ever))))
That's a pretty good outcome towards having a goal. I need to remember this, for the next time when my goals involve a difficult conversation with a person of authority.
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 9:33:20
In reply to Re: Goals for TODAY- success :), posted by llrrrpp on August 16, 2006, at 22:32:41
Read Frog book
Avoid online news- causes too much anxiety
Do 3 random nice things for people
Meet with computer programmer about my project
Leave my office, go to the library when things blow up. (My boss and the office staff have a lot of stress about a project that I have zero % involvement in) I don't need to be around that toxicity.
Find a buddy for a coffee break or lunch run.
-ll
How about you? How are you doing?
Posted by Poet on August 17, 2006, at 14:55:20
In reply to Goals for Thursday, posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 9:33:20
Self esteem set back yesterday. A class member asked what I did for a living and out popped career failure. I tried to dance around it that it's temporary and not my fault, but hell I know I am to blame (hence self esteem set back.) T will hear about it today and give me the why do you rip yourself apart look, followed by why can't I just say I'm in school studying to be a paralegal, but until then I'm dong administrative support work. Why do I say career failure first? Why? Because I am a career failure first and foremost. Sorry.
I will go to class tonight and keep my head held high out of the water. Maybe the woman won't show up.
Poet
Posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 15:03:29
In reply to Three Down, Two to Go, posted by Poet on August 17, 2006, at 14:55:20
Hello Poet :o)
Well, you have to practice saying the paralegal training thing many times, until it becomes automatic. Say it to yourself in the mirror. Poet, what do you do for a living? "I'm in school studying to be a paralegal" (repeat a dozen times, out loud).You are not a career failure first or foremost. You are in career transition right now. Abasolutely nothing wrong with that. I bet the lady at the pool has probably been through a few transitions herself.
-ll
congrats on your water aerobics. that's awesome *splash!*
Posted by ClearSkies on August 17, 2006, at 15:20:25
In reply to Goals for Thursday, posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 9:33:20
I think I am tossing my goals out the window. It's not as noticeable when I fail to accomplish any of the items on the list. Instead, I'm going to go as far as listing what I've actually done today.
Today, I saw my T. It was good, though my eyes roamed around the room a lot.
Woke up early and walked on the beach with my yoga teacher, who is turning out to be a new-found friend.
Bought new plants to replace the ones that have reached the ends of their livelihood.
Managed to plant about half of them in 90 degree heat.
Had 2 showers to cope with above.
Had a nap with the cat.CS
Posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 21:53:04
In reply to Three Down, Two to Go, posted by Poet on August 17, 2006, at 14:55:20
Most people in the business call themselves inventors tho, because all it takes is one success and you're doing telemercials at 3am on cable.
Did you know that scientists are professional failures, too? Science these days is based on the principle of falsification. In other words, 100 million successes can be undone by a single failure. So, the general idea is that you say what you think should be, then you go about proving how every other explanation fails where yours, well, doens't fail. For the moment. If you fail at demonstrating that you are a failure, you can succeed quite well as a scientist.
Science is also based on underdetermination. In other words, whatever you THINK you know, you'll never know enough.
WOW. Talk about dysfunctional. Here I was, for years blaming my parents when really it was my science teachers who should have been taking the heat.
Posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 22:02:56
In reply to Re: Goals for Thursday, posted by ClearSkies on August 17, 2006, at 15:20:25
... here on the right coast.
Sleep would be nice. I've still got work that needs doing, but sleep sometime soon would probably be wise. 38 hours and counting. Maybe I can limit it to the low 40's this time around. Getting up is such a hassle, tho. Hmmmm....
Posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 22:04:14
In reply to Goals for Thursday, posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 9:33:20
> Read Frog book
I read a chapter and did two exercises
"Eat that Frog"
> Avoid online news- causes too much anxietyI only read 'funny stories' (and the ones about local shootings...oops. Well, at least I avoided stories of international conflicts and politics)
>
> Do 3 random nice things for peopleOne of the nice things I did was for a caterpillar. I was its crossing guard. It was the size of my index finger. Ripe to become a butterfly, methinks. The other 2 things were for people though.
> Meet with computer programmer about my project
yep.
> Leave my office, go to the library when things blow up. (My boss and the office staff have a lot of stress about a project that I have zero % involvement in) I don't need to be around that toxicity.nope. I stayed in my office and eavesdropped with amusement and nailbiting.
> Find a buddy for a coffee break or lunch run.yep. a good lunch buddy too.
> -llI give myself an A+
I wish all days could be like this- harnessing the nervous freakish twitch and turning it into racing around and getting things done.
> How about you? How are you doing?
Posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 22:08:16
In reply to Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ..., posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 22:02:56
> ... here on the right coast.
>
> Sleep would be nice. I've still got work that needs doing, but sleep sometime soon would probably be wise. 38 hours and counting. Maybe I can limit it to the low 40's this time around. Getting up is such a hassle, tho. Hmmmm....flb, have you been up for that long? I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like very much fun at all. Well, thank you for writing such wonderful things in your wakefulness. I'm impressed.
Sending you a couple dozen sheep to count...
ZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz....
-ll
Posted by Jost on August 17, 2006, at 23:25:33
In reply to Re: Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ... » finelinebob, posted by llrrrpp on August 17, 2006, at 22:08:16
Okay, my goal for tomorrow is to do these da*n exercises earlier in the day.
gosh I am so sick of these things.
And I've got to cut down on the computer. I've got to work more. Course I'm not sleeping, so that cuts down on the amount of time I'm actually "up," so my laziness consumes all available time. Wish I would read some, too.
By the way, I can't believe what I'm seeing on the television right now. But I can't say what it is, because it's definitely against the civility rules. Anyone ever watch Mind of Mencia? It's pretty awful and is only on because I didn't turn the television off after the Daily Show... but anyway. How weird.
All right, I have to get to bed. (Not that I'm getting to sleep, but well I've got to try, I guess.)
Sorry, but I wonder if this is improving my self esteem.
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 7:35:00
In reply to Re: Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ..., posted by Jost on August 17, 2006, at 23:25:33
Well Jost, this exercise may improve your self-esteem if you can allow it to.
Rather than bemoan the fact that you "laziness consumes all available time", why don't you celebrate the fact that you have been taking it easy, relaxing in the Summertime?
Rather than wish that you "would read some", take heart in the fact that you have been reading Babble. Perhaps tomorrow you can add something that has more fiction and fantasy. In fact, turn off the computer RIGHT NOW, and go find something worthwhile to read.
And, it seems that you got in bed around midnight, central standard time (which is Babble's best hour of the day, by the way). Wasn't that one of your goals a few days ago?
I'm so glad that the Daily Show brought back enough faith in the TV as medium and entertainment that you were able to keep it on an additional half hour. That's wonderful.
All in all, a pretty good day. I envy you for having Cable. Can you do your exercises before you do anything else in the morning? Get it out of your way, so that the rest of the day will start off on the right (left?) foot?
ta ta,
-llOh yeah-- one of your goals, hypothetically, could be a resolution to set more affirming and attainable goals. Just a thought...
Posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 8:57:22
In reply to But Failure **is** a profession » Poet, posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 21:53:04
Posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 9:03:17
In reply to Re: But Failure **is** a profession (nm), posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 8:57:22
So I don't have to be ashamed for thinking my career is failure? I'm not in the scientific field, but I suppose the same philosophy could apply elsewhere. Interesting.
Poet
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 11:28:09
In reply to Re: Oh. A goal. And it's almost Friday ... » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 7:35:00
> Well Jost, this exercise may improve your self-esteem if you can allow it to.
>
> Rather than bemoan the fact that you "laziness consumes all available time", why don't you celebrate the fact that you have been taking it easy, relaxing in the Summertime?---It doesn't confine itself to summer, Unf. But okay, I'll stop the bemoaning. Although the hand-wringing may take more time.
>
> Rather than wish that you "would read some", take heart in the fact that you have been reading Babble. Perhaps tomorrow you can add something that has more fiction and fantasy. In fact, turn off the computer RIGHT NOW, and go find something worthwhile to read.
>
> And, it seems that you got in bed around midnight, central standard time (which is Babble's best hour of the day, by the way). Wasn't that one of your goals a few days ago?---It is Babble's best hour, but it's actually 1 am here on the mouth of the Hudson. Although I did get to sleep by about 1:30 am, which is pretty good.
>
> I'm so glad that the Daily Show brought back enough faith in the TV as medium and entertainment that you were able to keep it on an additional half hour. That's wonderful.Yeah, the Daily Show helps with the two-hour television minimum and has restored my faith in humanity. That plus the Colbert Report. I got HBO a few days ago, and other than a silly but rather entertaining potboiler about Saladin's conquest of Jerusalem, there's nothing on there. I can give you a list of about 20 bad movies I'd never heard of before, though.
>
> All in all, a pretty good day. I envy you for having Cable.No Cable?????!!! You poor poor suffering Childe. No wonder the druggist was afraid to fill your prescriptions. People suffering from cable-deprivation are notoriously easily infuriated. You must get cable hookup. You don't want to miss Project Runway, do you? Or Countdown with Keith Olbermann? or or um--well the Daily Show and Colbert R, and oh yeah, Blade: the Series (Grrrrr, crash, bang, clattter, huhhuhHUH, moan, fssst, bang, eeeeeee!-- yeah, it;s mostly sound-effects with some good fake blood puddles)?
> Can you do your exercises before you do anything else in the morning? Get it out of your way, so that the rest of the day will start off on the right (left?) foot?---Great suggestion, ll. I'm going to follow you advice. Gee, you're a whiz.
> ta ta,
> -ll
>
> Oh yeah-- one of your goals, hypothetically, could be a resolution to set more affirming and attainable goals. Just a thought...Oh. Yah. That. Good point. I'll work on it while doing my exercises.
So my goals for today,
1. do exercises, before work at 2:30
2. read for 45 minutes, today
3. get into bed by 11:15 pm EDT. (Even if I will miss out on the apex of Babbleonia. (sigh))Gosh, ll, you're great! thanks.
Jost
Posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
In reply to Forget to include message, posted by Poet on August 18, 2006, at 9:03:17
"Forgot to include message"? YOU'RE A NATURAL!!!
> So I don't have to be ashamed for thinking my career is failure? I'm not in the scientific field, but I suppose the same philosophy could apply elsewhere. Interesting.
Some of the greatest failures in history have been philosophers because when they fail, the can fail BIG and it can take hundreds if not THOUSANDS of years for civilization to recover.
Take Aristotle. It took about 1400 years before Galileo came along and got rid of Ari's notion that bodies in motion naturally came to rest. Newton took advantage of that, but even today studies of "naive science" -- what people believe without or inspite of any particular study or instruction -- shows that Aristotle's ideas naturally come to rest in people's heads.
Now, if you want to point at a really harmful, malicious failure -- particularly for us Babble-onians -- point all your fingers at Rene Descartes. He gets the dubious credit of popularizing mind/body dualism in Western thought to the extent that our "scientific" methodologies still largely reject the notion of one's "mind" being integral to one's "body".Next time someone tells you "it's all in your mind" tell them "it's not MY fault, it's Descartes' fault!" or, if you prefer a more disdainful response, "It's not MY fault you're a slave to a belief system that sees the term 'independent thought' as a truism and not an oxymoron!"
How do you think scientists learned to become professional failures? Karl Popper, philosopher and champion of empiricism based on falsification. Before Popper, scientists were all trying to prove themselves right. After Popper, scientists really really started trying to prove everyone else was wrong while they took some shots at their own views as well. As a result, science has blossomed due to its pursuit of failure!Now, the really kewl thing about Popper and falsification is that if you base your argument on statistics and probability (most of the hard and soft sciences do, to some extent or another) you can NEVER rule out the chance that your demonstration that something was wrong was, in fact, an error! Popper failed at being able to fully describe when you knew you were a failure and were right versus when you knew you were a failure and were wrong.
So, if you're still with me (or if you're just skipping to the bottom of the post to see if anything interesting has happened):1) We have no idea of knowing whether anything we know is right or wrong, and
2) You can blame Descartes for just about anything if you grew up in a Western Culture anytime in the last 200 or so years, particularly if you are talking about being accused of "making it all up" when it comes to whatever disorder you have.
Scientists are still stuck in empiricism, so when it comes to failure they can take it to heart, but usually restrict it to their sensory organs and their brain neurochemistry (where they think their "mind" is .... or isn't).
But Poet! A Philosopher?! You can take failure to infinity, and beyond! You can truly become one of the greatest failures of all time and be proud of it. I mean, Darwin Award winners wind up the butt of internet jokes for a few years, but philosophers get their busts carved in marble for all ages.
((((((((((sigh!))))))))))
... oops. My bad. You didn't say you WERE a philosopher. Well, as you can see, I highly recommend the field and just about any other academic discipline has its own branch of philosophy ... you know, like literary theory and stuff like that.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
In reply to Re: Forget to include message, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
I think I overdid it with making lists and crossing stuff off. You'll all be happy to know that Babble was on my list of to-dos.
I have been very energetic, but my list did not take the following situations into account
1) coworker had emergency, asked me to show up at work immediately (i.e. an hour earlier that I had planned)
2) pharmacy screwed up my refill not once, not twice, but THREE times.
3) an appointment that no-showed earlier this week just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought it appropriate to 'drop by...' this afternoon. NOTE: I was on babble-chat at the time. I had to leave really suddenly. Sorry!
4) it was raining.
Anyways, I planned too much stuff. I think I got the most important things done, but I wore myself out doing it. And I felt really down, and started to pull into the depressed place. I'm feeling better now. Being at home, safe, quiet, in front of the babble-screen kind of calms me down, for the most part.
I'm cancelling the rest of my to-do list for the day. that's my goal.
-ll
Posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 21:55:38
In reply to Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
DOH! I forgot about my goal. Does "passing out at the keyboard" count as "sleep"?
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 22:59:44
In reply to Re: Forget to include message, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 19:44:02
Finelineb, is there any chance you're obsessed with this failure thing?
Cause if so, I think there's a book to be written: The Human History of Failure, Parts I,II, and III. (There could be as many parts as you want.)
You'd have so much material. It's almost hard to know where to begin.
There's crying need for that book. This seems like the perfect historical moment for it, too.
Jost
Posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 23:06:15
In reply to Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by llrrrpp on August 18, 2006, at 20:40:55
Ll, good job!
I'm getting into bed now, which is either a failure (it's 45 minutes after my stated time of 11:15 pm)
or a raving success, given my usual in-bed hour, which is more like 1:45-55 am.
But I have no time to lose.
See you tomorrow. Metaphorically, of course-- unless we need to meet at your local pharmacy to pick up some fine literature (and a few thousand cans of Redbull).
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:15:09
In reply to Re: Umm, I think I overdid it » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 23:06:15
Goals for SATURDAY
Wake up on time
(yep--- but I woke up early again. pray that this is not a recurrance of insomnia)Pack my crap
(yep--- no liquids or gels in my carryon. apparently cherries are okay?)Catch the bus & train without getting robbed or breaking my ankle
(yep)Get through security without losing my cool
(yep)*************
The rest of the day's goals:
1) not to get stressed out on the plane, especially important if I end up sitting next to a difficult passenger.2) to have quality time with my cat. I will post some pictures soon. She just got a hairdo.
3) have quality time with my husband. dinner and a movie date?
4) to not spend to much time on psycho-babble that husband says "why are you hanging out with psychos so much? hang out with me!" [please don't be offended. my husband is kind, but has little understanding of mental illness. I stick up for my babble-buddies all the time-- you guys aren't psychos!
5) to completely ignore my work, and the office life for a whole weekend.
--this goal failed already. a meek coworker sent me e-mails at 3am AND 5am, because she thought something I said was rude and mean. And I sent her another e-mail to apologize for my e-mails, and then I gave her some advice on getting along in a caustic brew of twenty-something ambitious women that is called our "office". [or lab, depending on your perspective]. I think we had a good conversation. I used a lot of tricks that I have been practicing on psycho-babble. Being supportive, non-confrontational, and trying to give advice without sounding too bossy. I feel a lot better now. The air is cleared between us. I think she's a genuinely nice person, but she's very needy, and very uncertain. She tries my patience. Oh well.
6) Eat ice-cream, ideally. Or, perhaps a nice chunk of Schokolade. I have a 500gram (that's over a POUND!) of pure alpine milk chocolate in my bag. YUM! but I cannot eat it all at once. I'll try and share at least a crumb or two with my friends!
********************
Thank you for reading my goals. I know it's boring, but it's my life. I'm kinda long-winded. Oh well.
********************Self-Esteem status report:
Medium Rare~ Seared on the outside, but still pretty raw inside. At least my heart's not bleeding from guilt. I feel like I have gone to the dark side of the evil office gossip mill, and been a bad friend to the meek one. I'm not feeling too attractive today. Couldn't bring myself to do any grooming above and beyond shower and hairwash. oh. I guess I'm wearing earrings. I look like a slop. A pimply slop. And I was critical of my blubber, which I haven't done in a few weeks. hmm.
I wish I could put me in a crate, tranquilize me, and ship me to my final destination, like the Elephant I am.
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:17:57
In reply to Re: Umm, I think I overdid it, posted by finelinebob on August 18, 2006, at 21:55:38
> DOH! I forgot about my goal. Does "passing out at the keyboard" count as "sleep"?
Well, if the computer went to 'sleep mode' then it counts. If, on the other hand, you were actually posting while passed out, NO, that does not count as sleep. It counts as PWzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [posting while sleeping]
It's okay. If your forget your goal, you can just refer back to your previous posts.
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:23:52
In reply to Re: Forget to include message » finelinebob, posted by Jost on August 18, 2006, at 22:59:44
> Cause if so, I think there's a book to be written: The Human History of Failure, Parts I,II, and III. (There could be as many parts as you want.)
>
> You'd have so much material. It's almost hard to know where to begin.
>
> There's crying need for that book. This seems like the perfect historical moment for it, too.
>
Jost, I was going to write my dissertation on failure. but I couldn't. I didn't even try. Now I'm studying the subject of failure. It's very interdisciplinary. I can experience failure in any branch of academia.PHYSICS F
ARCHERY F
SPECTROSCOPY & NUCLEAR MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING F
ETHNOMUSICOLOGY F
THE ENGLISH NOVEL F
LINEAR ALGEBRA F-
PRIMATE NERVOUS SYSTEMS F
INTRO TO BALLROOM DANCING F
DOKTOR FAUSTUS Fyou see? There are so many opportunities to study failure!
-ll
Posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 12:09:44
In reply to Goals for Saturday, posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:15:09
LLrrrppp
You're a Peach, a PeaRL.
A woRLd tRaveLLeR.
You've accomplished more in three days than I have in---ooops-- self esteem board, forgot what I was going to say,
but you're too much.
Have a great visit with your H.
Jost
Posted by Poet on August 19, 2006, at 17:28:08
In reply to Re: Goals for Saturday » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 12:09:44
I went to all five water aerobics classes. Even Friday night- even when my husband couldn't wait until I got home to order pizza, so there it was on the table as I was filling my water bottle to head to class. I could have stayed home, but I didn't. I ate it cold (which is okay I like cold pizza) after class and washed it down with wine. Also cold.
Poet
Posted by Jost on August 19, 2006, at 22:08:54
In reply to Failing to fail! The ultimate failure! » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 19, 2006, at 10:23:52
Ll,
It is impossible to get an F in "The English Novel." I know this for a fact.
Jost
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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