![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 56 to 80 of 138. Go back in thread:
Posted by SLS on March 14, 2008, at 13:14:56
In reply to I'd feel awful if anyone got in trouble for, posted by Dinah on March 13, 2008, at 22:42:46
> I knew that some people would be very angry with me when I agreed to stay on,
I can't imagine that happening. What makes you say this?
CBT: Mind reading; Fortune telling; Catastrophism, Personalization.
From where I sit, these are the cognitive distortions that still reside in your mind as to the way you interpret the world around you, especially with your expectation that people will reject you for your recent behavior.
I don't have the energy to read the whole board, but can you cite me an example of a legitimation of your expectations regarding an angry response by the PB community?
> and yet I agreed to stay on anyway.
Despite people hating you?
Dinah - no way. It just ain't happening.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 14, 2008, at 13:47:09
In reply to Re: dinah... » fayeroe, posted by Dinah on March 13, 2008, at 22:11:25
> It may not look like it, but I've been entirely consistent, at least in my own eyes.
In whose eyes are you inconsistent?
I can see that there is some very real anger directed your way. If not you, it would have been someone else. It is too bad that you appear like such an easy target to the people who are actually angry with Dr. Bob. My advice is that you focus on who you are in your own eyes, and not what you see in others' - real or imaginary.
Don't sweat it, Dinah. You are a great source of positive energy that both soothes and motivates. It is constructive. The converse of this is represented by people who project negative energy everywhere they go. They are depressing and destructive. Such people are genuinely malicious.
I'm glad that all of these generalizations will earn me but one PBC. It's the truth, though. If there is anyone here who takes what I have written here personally, I lament for them. Their degree of indignation is commensurate with the accuracy of my descriptions of them.
Dinah, you see, all of this drama is a waste of your time and energy. It is sometimes an effective strategy to suffer ignorance and smile. I don't usually participate in dramas, but I felt a need to write this on your behalf.
- Scott
Posted by adelaide curtis on March 14, 2008, at 14:03:32
In reply to Re: dinah... » Dinah, posted by SLS on March 14, 2008, at 13:47:09
Posted by gardenergirl on March 14, 2008, at 15:46:09
In reply to Re: I have to disagree... » gardenergirl, posted by twinleaf on March 13, 2008, at 9:16:47
In thinking about this further, I want to clarify something. I'm going to try to paraphrase what I cannot quote, so please forgive if it comes out clumsy at times. It's true we do disagree, and though it might not be readily apparent, I respect your views also. I respect your right to have them. The same is true for Adelaide Curtis' views. What I was reacting to for the most part, which led to my coming across to you as acting in a certain way which you believed was unlike me, was certain aspects of the presentation of the views, not necessarily the views themselves. It's sort of similar to the idea that one might not like a specific behavior but still like the individual I guess.
Anyway, in both cases, it's not your views or you.
I don't know why I'm posting this--whether it's for me or what. But I can see that my posts have offended or upset, so I'd like to invite you both to email or babblemail me if you wish, to tell me more about it. I didn't set out to upset anyone, and I'm open to hearing more if I did, though obviously that probably can't happen on the boards. Email is my name here, throw on 88 and it's at yahoo.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on March 14, 2008, at 15:48:22
In reply to at least you're honest gg :) » gardenergirl, posted by karen_kay on March 13, 2008, at 12:47:37
No problem, KK. You're right, of course. :) Have a good weekend.
gg
Posted by Dinah on March 14, 2008, at 22:22:41
In reply to Re: dinah... » Dinah, posted by SLS on March 14, 2008, at 13:47:09
Thank you, Scott.
I imagine I radiate some negative energy at times. I think in balance that if you see my energy as largely positive, I'm more than content.
Oh heavens, I'm about to use one of my mother's favorite quotes. Please don't tell her. She drilled it into me all my life, and I promised myself never to say it willingly.
"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us..."
And while her purpose wasn't to point out that complexity is a good thing in people, I guess I can still borrow it.
I'm really ok. I'm more sad that others are distressed than I am distressed for myself.
I must have sounded pretty paranoid if that post wasn't read in context. :)
You've been a pillar of support, Scott. I really do appreciate that.
And in case I didn't say so often enough, I'm really very glad you're back on Babble. I think Babble is the richer for having you.
Posted by rskontos on March 15, 2008, at 0:07:58
In reply to Re: dinah... » SLS, posted by Dinah on March 14, 2008, at 22:22:41
I have thought alot about this and spent most of my therapy session explaining this to my therapist. I was so upset over this, I switched most of the day before therapy since I just could not handle it, so needless to say, this has been a BIG trigger. I hold Dr. Bob responsible for his blasted silence. Not you Dinah. Although I now understand that you just tried to explain for him since he did not step forward and I think I understand that you did that in a attempt to try and diffuse a time bomb as you saw it not because he asked you too and that is something I would have done too in your situation I feel like right or wrong. so don't beat yourself up over it. Because ultimately Dr. Bob could have in the beginning prevented all of this by standing up in the right way and just put all of this up front out in the open. He could have after you too worked things out, make an announcement first and then it would have been fine. But he did not, you in the way that you tried to protect the feelings of people here you care about, spoke up about what happened hoping it would help but it backfired for some because most babblers were looking for Dr. Bob to explain.
It is ok to me now as far you are concerned as I understand your role and you are concerned everyone here. It is still not ok with Dr. Bob and his lack of concern. I don't feel like I can post. I am not sure i want my words here to be used by him. His lack of communication with us yet his statement to the Presidential Candidates about the communicative role between leadership and membership leaves me feeling empty. And deprived. I desparately need to talk to my pyschobabblers about something but now feel like I can't. I am stuck in my silence and in my head. And Dr. Bob did this. I am distressed by all this. I am switching again like crazy and had it under control. Dr. Bob is the trigger this time and he refuses to stand up and be a leader. And all it would have taken him is a small amount of time. tsk tsk. Too busy. I feel he owes me for my last session. I spent too much time in therapy talking about this board and how upset I was. Not what the intro in the beginning by his picture leads one to believe.
Anyway, Dinah this is NOT your fault it is All Dr. Bob's for FAILURE TO ACT. It is funny how one incident can make you feel like you have no where to go. Better he never figured on that, sometimes even Dr. Bob needs a PBC or a blocked for FAILURE TO ACT responsibly. Because even leaders can fail to act responsibly and need a reminder of their responsibilities. Yes, it is his site, but he does need to act accordingly and with ethics. And in this case, he has not acted with ethics. IMHO.
rsk
Posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 9:18:08
In reply to Re: dinah... » SLS, posted by Dinah on March 14, 2008, at 22:22:41
Gosh. Thank you for boosting my self-esteem so. I'm tickled.
I no longer feel motivated to post regularly on the treatment boards. I know why, but it is sad just the same. One thing that I do not feel is dutifulness. It is not my duty to be all things to all people, especially if it impacts negatively on my life to try. Perhaps you can strike a balance between your responsibilities at PB and your responsibilities to yourself. You really can have both. However, your priority is your health. The health of PB cannot be afforded by you if you have not sufficient health for yourself.
There I go preaching again...
Sorry.
- Scott> Thank you, Scott.
>
> I imagine I radiate some negative energy at times. I think in balance that if you see my energy as largely positive, I'm more than content.
>
> Oh heavens, I'm about to use one of my mother's favorite quotes. Please don't tell her. She drilled it into me all my life, and I promised myself never to say it willingly.
>
> "There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us..."
>
> And while her purpose wasn't to point out that complexity is a good thing in people, I guess I can still borrow it.
>
> I'm really ok. I'm more sad that others are distressed than I am distressed for myself.
>
> I must have sounded pretty paranoid if that post wasn't read in context. :)
>
> You've been a pillar of support, Scott. I really do appreciate that.
>
> And in case I didn't say so often enough, I'm really very glad you're back on Babble. I think Babble is the richer for having you.
Posted by fayeroe on March 15, 2008, at 9:42:37
In reply to Re: dinah... » Dinah, posted by rskontos on March 15, 2008, at 0:07:58
Seems I just have to have one more word or in this case.. a Texas saying that I like alot.
"It is time to man up"
variations are below.....
"it is past time to man up"
"anyone believe he will man up?"
"is it too late to help us, if he does man up?"
Posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 10:08:38
In reply to Re: dinah... » rskontos, posted by fayeroe on March 15, 2008, at 9:42:37
It seems to me that people are now feeling like Dr. Bob is just like an abuser. His silence does have that effect. Even psychiatrists can be abusive. I had one once who was, not directly but by his actions and expectations and lack of qualifications to be doing what he was doing, I reacted to him as if he was an abuser. He was at least acting unprofessionally trying to do something he was not qualified to do and expecting my submission. Now here comes Dr. Bob behaving by being silent. Many abusers do not respond to pleadings; they ignore. This trauma is due to Dr. Bob not due to Dinah. He is too busy is an excuse. His silence shows he does not care about people here. If everyone left, and he had to shut the site down, then he would care perhaps. But there will always be people to post even if some feel abused.
Posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 10:55:16
In reply to Re: dinah..., posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 10:08:38
> It seems to me that people are now feeling like Dr. Bob is just like an abuser.
Has he ever acted as if he assumed the position of clinician here?
What is it about his absence that concerns you the most?
- Scott
Posted by Toph on March 15, 2008, at 14:15:14
In reply to Re: dinah... » KAL44, posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 10:55:16
> Has he ever acted as if he assumed the position of clinician here?
>
> What is it about his absence that concerns you the most?
>
>
> - ScottHas he ever acted as if he assumed the position of administrator here?
Posted by rskontos on March 15, 2008, at 14:50:11
In reply to Re: dinah... » KAL44, posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 10:55:16
Scott, several of us directly asked for an answer, and when I say several I mean ALOT. He has deliberately ignored direct posts directed to him personally as well as emails sent to him on the subject matter that is what concerns us the most as well as implementing new policy without so much as a notification. Did you read the entire thread. If you had you would have realized that most people were not upset with Dinah in particular but with Dr. Bob who just ignored us as if we are non-entities to be treated as dirt under his feet. That is our major concern.
But thanks for asking.
rsk
Posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 17:05:01
In reply to Re: dinah... » KAL44, posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 10:55:16
Lots of people are leaving babble because of the issue that still has not been addressed by him. His nonresponsiveness is telling and says something about him. You can fill in the blank. Maybe this is part of his experiment! I don't think so really but do believe he really should say something.
Posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 17:06:31
In reply to Re: dinah..., posted by Toph on March 15, 2008, at 14:15:14
About the only time he acts like an administrator is when he blocks someone.
Posted by Toph on March 15, 2008, at 17:39:59
In reply to Re: dinah... » Toph, posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 17:06:31
In many states anyone who takes on a caregiver role for a dependent person bears a responsibility for that dependent's care and safety. The dependent's subsequent neglect by the caregiver can be a crime. Bob's neglect in addressing this crisis smells of FEMA's incompetence and neglect something Dinah is intimately familiar with. While not criminal, Bob's refusal to lend support to this site over which he is caregiver when so many are screaming for help is unquestionably disgraceful neglect in my mind. Maybe with time everyone will forget about this as many have forgotten the neglect in New Orleans. Bob must be counting on this.
Posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 17:41:01
In reply to Re: dinah..., posted by Toph on March 15, 2008, at 14:15:14
>
> > Has he ever acted as if he assumed the position of clinician here?
> >
> > What is it about his absence that concerns you the most?
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
> Has he ever acted as if he assumed the position of administrator here?
Of course he has. I don't understand why anyone would say otherwise.I guess I arrived here too late to know what the issues are.
What is Dr. Hsiung not doing that you believe is imperative to be done? What do you need from him that you are not getting?
I really don't know what's going on, so I hope someone will be kind enough to explain it to me.
- Scott
Posted by rskontos on March 15, 2008, at 17:50:24
In reply to Re: dinah..., posted by rskontos on March 15, 2008, at 14:50:11
Posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 19:51:47
In reply to Willful neglect » KAL44, posted by Toph on March 15, 2008, at 17:39:59
The poor guy probably had a nervous breakdown.
Listen, I haven't been here for over a year up until a few weeks ago. I don't know what is going on that I missed. Since everyone is so emotionally charged over the relative absence of the doctor, I just thought that perhaps there were some deleterious effects on us as individuals. What are they?
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2008, at 21:21:47
In reply to Re: dinah... » Dinah, posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 9:18:08
I think you're quite right, Scott. And I've definitely been trying for more balance in my life.
Posted by SLS on March 16, 2008, at 5:46:38
In reply to Re: Willful neglect, posted by SLS on March 15, 2008, at 19:51:47
Oh, and let us not forget that the good doctor has a personal and professional life outside of reading every post on Psycho-Babble and responding to all requests.
What in the hell are you expecting from just one man?
I find this need to have Dr. Hsiung available at all times on PB to be unreasonable.
Now, talk amongst yourselves...
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 16, 2008, at 7:32:13
In reply to Re: Willful neglect, posted by SLS on March 16, 2008, at 5:46:38
I am curious to know if anyone is disturbed that the interaction between Dr. Hsiung and his deputy moderators be confidential.
If so, why?
- Scott
Posted by Toph on March 16, 2008, at 7:55:12
In reply to Re: Willful neglect, posted by SLS on March 16, 2008, at 5:46:38
> Oh, and let us not forget that the good doctor has a personal and professional life outside of reading every post on Psycho-Babble and responding to all requests.
>
> What in the hell are you expecting from just one man?
>
> I find this need to have Dr. Hsiung available at all times on PB to be unreasonable.
>
> Now, talk amongst yourselves...
>
>
> - Scott
>Then maybe its time to take the picture down and stop suggesting that he is responsible for this site. I dont expect him to be here all the time, I don't think many do. But he needs to be here when needed, when his senior deputy quits, when she and a multitude ask him for assistance and an explanation. Most chief executives have vacations and other pressing obligations when conflicts arises. Responsible ones return or use technology to show leadership. My outrage is becoming tempered by my waning expectations of this administrator who exposes his cowardice with each passing day.
Posted by fayeroe on March 16, 2008, at 9:50:39
In reply to Re: Willful neglect, posted by Toph on March 16, 2008, at 7:55:12
> > Oh, and let us not forget that the good doctor has a personal and professional life outside of reading every post on Psycho-Babble and responding to all requests.
> >
> > What in the hell are you expecting from just one man?
> >
> > I find this need to have Dr. Hsiung available at all times on PB to be unreasonable.
> >
> > Now, talk amongst yourselves...
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
>
> ******Toph said: Then maybe its time to take the picture down and stop suggesting that he is responsible for this site. I dont expect him to be here all the time, I don't think many do. But he needs to be here when needed, when his senior deputy quits, when she and a multitude ask him for assistance and an explanation. Most chief executives have vacations and other pressing obligations when conflicts arises. Responsible ones return or use technology to show leadership. My outrage is becoming tempered by my waning expectations of this administrator who exposes his cowardice with each passing day.*****I take back what I said about not posting about this mess anymore!
Scott, are you listening to the pain/anger of the posters? It was oozing out of the pores of my screen the other night. I couldn't have avoided it, if I had tried by leaving my house. It would have stayed on my mind even then.
It isn't even like this is the first time that he has abandoned PB and refused to come around when posters needed him and I have never seen anyone ask him to be here all of the time. Posters have personal lives and responsibilities too.
As one with experience, let me tell you that all professionals don't go off and have no communication with their office for long lengths of time.
Scott you asked this< " What in the hell are you expecting from just one man?" Let me ask you a question. What does that one man expect from the posters here? Words for his papers, books, speeches, etc.
Babble should be a two way street that runs both ways. It is now a four lane, running from the posters and a tiny dirt trail running from Bob to PB. It reminds me of my family, the distance between our cities is too far from them to drive to see me and it isn't too far for me to drive to see them.
I don't get what you aren't seeing here. Bob has chosen to disappear and leave confused and hurt people to cope with their questions and their fears.
"Toph, I agree about the lack of administration and I second the thought that Bob can take the photograph down now. I vote for a hot studmuffin from Holly wood. He might have a laptop. :-)"
>
>
>
>
Posted by fayeroe on March 16, 2008, at 10:23:29
In reply to Re: Willful neglect, posted by SLS on March 16, 2008, at 7:32:13
> I am curious to know if anyone is disturbed that the interaction between Dr. Hsiung and his deputy moderators be confidential.
>
> If so, why?
>
>
> - Scottwhat is going on right now could be an answer to your question. little things are thrown out and the membership has no idea what is going on.
communication has always been private between Bob and the deputies and people know that. it is what it is and, in my opinion, should be.
part of the issue now is the fact that people knew something was up that affected PB members and no explanation was given to them.
Bob still hasn't shown up to explain anything to PB members.
this is an online support forum, is it not? and forums like this generally have someone who owns the site and profits from it. how about giving back to the posters? they are the reason that the website exists. (yes, yes, yes, i already know that the real support comes from one another......)
there is always someone that should answer to questions when people are in doubt about the mechanics that affect them. do you agree with that or do you think the site should just run itself, without any direction from the owner?
are you playing devil's advocate?
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
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