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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 239 to 263 of 536. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:06:28
I would like it to be noted that my last response was addressed to fallen and not to anybody else.
I apologise if anyone felt insulted / hurt / upset by anything I have said. That was not my intention.
If you want to discuss me in emails then that is fine. But please don't inform me of that fact.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
It was adressed to Fallen but you referred to people, not one person, or even a few people,
the last line especially sounded like a concensus.
>But some people don't seem to be able to see them from another angle. Not even for a moment.
>If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>People would rather be upset about this then try to understand
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 0:47:01
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In Logic 'Some' means 'one or more'.
You can replace 'one' or 'you' with 'some'.
But you can't get from 'some' to any one individual in particular.I thought it was more civil to say 'some' than 'you'. In fact 'some' does not even entail 'you'. Kind of an immunity from civility warning thing to do I suppose. Accusing 'someone' but 'noone in particular'.
Oh dear, I really am messed up...
I should have been more careful with my phrasing. I should have been clearer with what I was trying to say. I did not mean to hurt or offend you fallen.I did not mean to hurt or offend anyone.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
In reply to apology alex to me or just gab?? or all?? (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
In reply to i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
Oh fallen, I think I am getting a little lost myself...
I apologise to you especially (because I did direct that your way)
I apologise to Gabbi, Dinah, and everyone who may have been offended.I have just spent quite a bit of time reading todays contribution to the thread... Trying to figre where I went wrong and why.
I am well intentioned. Please believe that.
I stand by what I said.
But I don't feel mad. I feel sad.
I do appreciate that I write in a way that is hard to understand. And my thoughts aren't too clear a lot of the time. And sometimes I can be very very wrong but can't see it. Can't understand why or how...But Dinah is right... Lets go play over on social.
After having read that thread I am not sure why I addressed that post to you.
I think itallics would really help convey the tone of a post. Capitals tend to convey anger and frustration...
I would like to say I'll leave things here.
But tomorrow is another day, eh?No harm done?
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 2:11:02
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
Though I appreciate the thought.
I understood all along.
It's hard to both hate discord and feel passionately about things, isn't it? I know it is for me.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:12:08
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
Lol who wouldn't get lost in all this. WE JUST disagree is all...and we shall stay that way is my best guess and ya know..that is O.K..We will still disagree tomorrow lol :) but I hope we post to Dr Bob and not to one another on this as I feel WE ALL said how we feel and what we think very clearly and just don't agree..I do agree on social I did start a thread there and soon I am off to bed..its 3 a.m here :) don't go there hahaha 9 your time is my guess heheheheh oops I did it.....
> Oh fallen, I think I am getting a little lost myself...
>
> I apologise to you especially (because I did direct that your way)
> I apologise to Gabbi, Dinah, and everyone who may have been offended.
>
> I have just spent quite a bit of time reading todays contribution to the thread... Trying to figre where I went wrong and why.
>
> I am well intentioned. Please believe that.
>
> I stand by what I said.
>
> But I don't feel mad. I feel sad.
> I do appreciate that I write in a way that is hard to understand. And my thoughts aren't too clear a lot of the time. And sometimes I can be very very wrong but can't see it. Can't understand why or how...
>
> But Dinah is right... Lets go play over on social.
>
> After having read that thread I am not sure why I addressed that post to you.
>
> I think itallics would really help convey the tone of a post. Capitals tend to convey anger and frustration...
>
> I would like to say I'll leave things here.
> But tomorrow is another day, eh?
>
> No harm done?
>
>
>
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 3:11:07
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:12:08
I may have no clue what im talking about so i apoligize for any repetitive comments etc, but I personnaly thisnk the addition of new baords is going to be a complete waste of time. Has anyone peaked in newbies? it seems like NOone is really there and no oones stays. i din't kno wto start there but if i had i would't have hung around as long as i have. And another small board students; with an active population of maybe 4. and im sure a few other boards in here are like that. So my point is why are we bringing the possibility of more static boards when the baords that seem to be used and enjoyed the most are thriving on thir OWN. I personally find there are alot of boards as it is! I don't want to need to follow a map around here :(
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
In reply to Adding 2 cents Dr Bob, posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 3:11:07
> Restrictions are a not very nice way of being private, because they're not private.
>
> DinahThe goal isn't privacy, the goal is coziness.
--
> if they want to put on their housecoat and slippers, and bring their two best friends, and park themselves in the middle of my living room and carry on a private conversation at my cocktail party then they can just help themselves to the almond cookies and special kool-aid punch I have on hand for just such boors.
>
> Gabbix2What if they weren't in the middle of your living room, but upstairs? Or in the garage?
--
> all I know is I would gladly share my seat and fit 100 of the current users on the bus even if we had to sit on each others laps..
And if there were 1000?
> I see Babble as US the collective group of posters I have come to love and not :) I don't want any of them to be shut out of where and with whom they want to be.
>
> Fallen4MyTWhere, maybe, but not with whom. There would still be the current open boards, Open, and babblemail...
--
> If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
> some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
>
> alexandra_kTry not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
> > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversations
--
> One thing I would like to add is that Dr. Bob may have better luck determining where improvements can be made to the forum, if needed, by surveying posters and then presenting the results of the survey for discussion. It would be one way to find out what works and what doesn't work and what keeps people here and what drives them away.
>
> I personally think there is a wonderful dynamic here at Babble, and nothing should be done to inadvertently disrupt that dynamic.
>
> TamaraI hate to rock the boat, too, but a survey wouldn't count those who've been driven away...
--
> why are we bringing the possibility of more static boards when the baords that seem to be used and enjoyed the most are thriving on thir OWN.
>
> rainbowbriteIf more were thriving, wouldn't that be even better? Maybe some are less active now because their topics aren't relevant to many posters?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 4:54:42
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> Try not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
> > > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversationsThanks, I needed another way to see that...
And thanks for being gentle with the PBC :-)
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 6:55:31
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> > Restrictions are a not very nice way of being private, because they're not private.
> >
> > Dinah
>
> The goal isn't privacy, the goal is coziness.
>
> --
>Whatever the goal, the *fact* is that they're private. The *fact* that they're private doesn't result from the *goal*.
Pleeeease run this by someone you respect.
The *fact* is that a conversation that others cannot join is not a public conversation. It is a private conversation, and should take place in private.
Pleeeeease talk to Dr. Munro. I can't believe she wouldn't understand the issue. I know you have problems with these things, but I think she would understand.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 2, 2005, at 10:19:56
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
Are there a lot of people around here clamoring for "coziness?" Really? How can one be "cozy" on line?
I don't think it's very cozy to create an atmosphere of exclusion.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 10:59:53
In reply to What's with the coziness????, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 2, 2005, at 10:19:56
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 11:20:16
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
Dr. Bob
Curiousity. Why do you rarely really answer a question. You usually reply with another question.
If coziness is your goal, will there be couches and what time will tea and cookies be served?
I haven't read every post in this thread, but almost all of them. Dinah sure has passion on this subject. For the record, I agree with her whole-heartedly with EVERYTHING she has said.
I think this is the most horrible idea yet, especially given that everyone here is assumingly dealing with mental health issues. Nice way of showing support to ALL who post here. NOT!!! I don't even agree with the set-up of the newbie board. I have participated in several msg boards on the net and this is the ONLY one that has a newbie board that excludes the majority of posters from welcoming the newbies. That is a real good way of letting them feel supported. This whole situation REEKS!!!
I guess I don't understand why you are so adament of going through with this when you have so much opposition to it. It's obviously a dictatorship so why bother even wasting everybody's time even discussing it to begin with. I personally believe that you have had your mind made up since the beginning and it really doesn't matter what anybody says. You maybe trying to convince them that it does, but I think we are all smart enough to see through that . . . There are already posters who are talking of leaving PB altogether so you are robbing the rest of us their companionship and support. Is that what your goal is, to drive people away? That most certainly will make social a smaller board, won't it?
AG
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:14:06
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers. Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down. AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked. Double standard here or no am I missing something? Could you please clarify this so that I may understand and address it as you meant it.
>>Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.> some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
>
> alexandra_k
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 2, 2005, at 12:15:00
In reply to Ok. I apologise (nm) » Gabbix2, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 0:47:01
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:17:19
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit? » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 4:54:42
I may have missed it but has Dr Bob ever been anything but gentle with YOUR pbc's??? I have never seen one like Atticus or AG or even Susan 47 received ....could someone explain this tome so that I may understand why being the same way as in not civil is gentle to one and not to many???
> > Try not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
>
> > > > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversations
>
> Thanks, I needed another way to see that...
> And thanks for being gentle with the PBC :-)
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:30
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> > Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances?
Or maybe if what they find distasteful is long ears, whiskers, prominent front teeth, and fur, it doesn't really matter much rather the artist calls it a rabbit or a hare. Maybe they can see that the qualities they hate are there regardless of the name.
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:56
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:30
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 12:50:47
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? » Dr. Bob, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:14:06
Dr. Bob
I am very opposed of you having favourites if that is what is happening.
And for the record I did NOT call Lou insensitive, I called his actions insensitive. It's not the same thing. And I didn't see my PBC before the block and yet you Dr Bob didn't even care about that when I told you and now I see that you only give a PBC to alexandra for something that most assuredly would deserve a block. You gave me a block and you also blocked Atticus for inadvertantly leaving out an asterisk on the word f*ck. Why are the rules not the same for everybody here. I would like some clarification on this. If Alexandra virtually did the same thing as Atticus did, then why was Atticus treated much harsher. I do not like to see people get blocked but let's be fair here. I think that you should be removing Atticus' block since Alexandra didn't get one. I would like your comments on this Dr Bob. Why does there appear to be a double standard in how you apply your rules and who gets what punishment. Was Atticus comments to you hitting a nerve and one that you did not want to admit to? Is that what it was? I would like you to please clarify this and not with another question as you most often do and while you're at it, I'd like to know also why Lou was spared any punishment when his actions deeply offended me? Where is the justice in your penal system? Different rules for different players? Is there an elite list around here? This is all so very disturbing.
AG
> > People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
> Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers. Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down. AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked. Double standard here or no am I missing something? Could you please clarify this so that I may understand and address it as you meant it.
>
>
> >>Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
>
> > some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
> >
> > alexandra_k
>
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:34:10
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Dr Bob ...Alex..Dinah??? » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:17:19
>> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
>Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers.
Dr Bob seems to have been making a special effort lately?
>Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..
Yeah, maybe 3 or 4 in the last year. I do not continue with things I have been warned for, however. I also (genuinely) try my best to see where I went wrong and try to learn something so that the situation won’t happen again. You also got a PBS in this same thread. You have had civility warnings before, ya?
>IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down.
I wasn’t agreeing with Dr Bob. Like I said, I don’t care whether they get implemented or not.
>AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....
AG said a lot else besides…
>Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked.
You partook of the foul language too, did you not? I had the automated asterisking turned on. Dr Bob said that words that got through would not result in a blocking.
>I may have missed it but has Dr Bob ever been anything but gentle with YOUR pbc's???
I was hurt by a couple and I expressed that.
>I have never seen one like Atticus or AG or even Susan 47 received ....could someone explain this tome so that I may understand why being the same way as in not civil is gentle to one and not to many???
I think context is relevant here…
I was trying really hard to see things another way…
But (due to my lack of empathy) I could not.
Dr Bob offered me another way to view that and I accept that way of viewing it.
I never intended to hurt.
I didn’t speak out of anger.
I didn't intend to attack or accuse.
And I do think he is making a special effort to be sensitive lately.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:38:22
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 12:50:47
I find that quite often I get the wrong end of the stick when I come in to conversations not really knowing the background.
That happened to me over on PC and it has happened to me here a couple of times as well.
Not that there is anything wrong with coming in to conversations.
Please see my response to fallen.
But I am trying to learn to hold off getting too mad about things until I am clearer on what actually happened.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 16:45:35
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob » Angel Girl, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:38:22
alexandra
Whether you believe it or not, my reply to you on pc and my comments here are not so much directed to you but to the situations. I don't want to see you get blocked, I just want to see the rules applied the same way to everybody. I only see what I read here. I never saw your original post where you used that word. In Atticus' case, he inadvertantly forgot the *, it was not done intentionally and it seemed weird that Atticus only got blocked after he stated he was taking a break from the board.
Im my own case, I am not aware that my block was for any more than me making the comment that I thought Lou's actions were insensitive, even though not intentional. That was what the whole fracas was about, that comment was made several times and I do not recall even one time that Dr. Bob said that my block was for any other reason. I did not and still do not, to some degree understand the *I* statement. I personally didn't see anything wrong with my comment at the time. It was not my intention to break the civility rules, so please, lets compare apples with applies and not pretend that mine are oranges.
You stated that you received a few PBCs. I received one and then I was blocked AND I did not even see that PBC and Dr Bob is aware of that fact. I only saw it when I discovered I was blocked, which shocked me and it stated that I had previously received a PBC so I went looking for it. Tell me how my situation is different from yours. Have you not seen my questions on social to trying to understand how to use the *I* statement? If not, you can find them in the archives. In fact, for that matter, that entire thread was initiated by ME, trying to get clarification to what was considered civil to post, ironic that I should be blocked in such a thread, don't you think?
I don't know what is going on around here, I just see what I see and from my viewpoint, I see injustice, again, not at you personally, I have nothing against you, but at the situations involved. And what about Lou who walked away from that situation with absolutely nothing. Was that fair to me? Don't tell me that I got blocked because I lashed out because that came after my block was over, to which I didn't get blocked.
So, why does Atticus get blocked and not you. You say that Bob says that the word you used is acceptable? I do not see the logic in that at all. This would be the only msg board that I have been on that particular word would be considered acceptable and I've been to several msg boards on the net. I feel since you didn't get blocked, then Atticus' block should be removed. And why should you receive several PBCs and I only one. Because you were learning? So was I and like I said, I didn't even see mine. That made absolutely no difference to Bob. By coincidence Bob and I were posting in that thread at the same time. I never refreshed my screen. He holds that against me. That's really fair in comparison of how you have been treated, NOT!!! I just want to see equal punishment for equal crimes, so to speak.
What is so wrong with that?
AG
> I find that quite often I get the wrong end of the stick when I come in to conversations not really knowing the background.
>
> That happened to me over on PC and it has happened to me here a couple of times as well.
>
> Not that there is anything wrong with coming in to conversations.
>
> Please see my response to fallen.
>
> But I am trying to learn to hold off getting too mad about things until I am clearer on what actually happened.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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