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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 89 to 113 of 161. Go back in thread:
Posted by Greg on April 23, 2002, at 20:46:02
In reply to Greg - Look what's happened!, posted by Lini on April 23, 2002, at 18:43:00
>
> I think I started all this disagreement with the OTers board, I was pretty offended by Greg's suggestion, (not by Greg, just the board idea) and so had to put in my two cents. Now we've got close to a million dollars here and I don't really understand where things will end with this. So, Doctor with the Surfboard (Phil's posts are pretty damn funny) what shall be the resolution?
>
> How many people have to hate the idea before it gets booted and how many people have to love it before it stays permanently? Cause if we've got an Old Timers board for keeps, well, as I have mentioned, as long as you're taking requests, I think that everyone should be able to have their suggested boards implemented.
>
> Just like Greg. :)Lini,
Because I am a fair and likable guy...really (once you get past the BS), I think your idea has merit and should be considered. But....out of all fairness, I had to wait almost a year to get my idea implemented. Everybody else should too :)
Greg
Posted by Greg on April 23, 2002, at 20:51:04
In reply to ANOTHER of my jokes gone flat? ;o( » Krazy Kat, posted by Zo on April 23, 2002, at 20:30:44
> It's a guy thing to be *happy* to find something he can *fix*!
Zo,
A guy can fix anything, we're only truly happy when we find something that we can fix correctly.
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 23, 2002, at 21:32:02
In reply to ANOTHER of my jokes gone flat? ;o( » Krazy Kat, posted by Zo on April 23, 2002, at 20:30:44
zo,
i know. :) i just want this thread to stay serious on both sides - it's quite selfish of me.
and riding the fence so to speak, which is what i've been doing, is exhausting.
-kk
Posted by Zo on April 23, 2002, at 22:51:48
In reply to Re: ANOTHER of my jokes gone flat? ;o( » Zo, posted by Greg on April 23, 2002, at 20:51:04
p.s. .. . also explains the unhappiness of my ex-husbands.Zo
Posted by Shar on April 24, 2002, at 0:56:11
In reply to Gimme some truth » shar, posted by trouble on April 23, 2002, at 5:04:29
Trouble:
I am smiling as I say this and meaning it in the most fun, friendly way possible, but, do you only read every other word in my posts?My response (the point in general, I guess one could say) was that the name-calling was getting "far afield" from the topic (pros and cons of the OT board). Thus, I cut/pasted the name-calling section from the reference post into my post so I wouldn't be taken to task for hurling around unfounded information. Then I made the point that if I did indeed have those deficiencies, the OT board was not doing a very good job of resolving them.
Sweet, simple, to the point. All true.
>
> Yo Shar-
........Yo, Trouble
>
> Is there a point somewhere in here?
.........yep
>I mean what does this mean Shar?
.......things seem to be getting far afield
> What when where whyfore how and who are you addressing?
........what am I addressing? the referenced post. When? April 22. Where? Right here in river city. Whyfore? My delicate sensibilities were almost affronted. How? Via computer. Who? The board in general, and, specifically, anybody who might want to call names. (I really think, Trouble, that you could have figured some of this out had you only applied yourself :))
>What is the meaning of this?
..........In an existential sense? Or, a nihilistic slant? Or, in German perhaps? Or, how about, its meaning is clear to me, and I will clarify specific questions, but can't really tell you the meaning it has to you.
> Do you really think Bekka was suggesting that the O.T. addition could cure y'all's personality problems?
.........Nope. And, I prefer ALLEGED personality problems :)
> Open the bun, look at the beef, it's meaty, not so instantly digestable as your response suggests.
.........Whoops, you lost me here.
> No one's saying you have to swallow.
.......No
> But is this your way of spitting it out?
........Nope. My way of spitting things out is MUCH nastier than this. This is a mere napkin to the corner of my lip.
> Why not just swear?
.......as in curse? or as in affirm?
> Or do like Lily->8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888>8or perhaps,
>zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz>zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
........Or, do what I did, which reflects "my style" and I always do better reflecting "my style" than trying to reflect others' style, or trying to reflect how I think others think "my style" should be written.
>
> still hungry,
> trouble
Posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 5:08:35
In reply to Re: Gimme some truth » trouble, posted by Shar on April 24, 2002, at 0:56:11
I always love your posts--especially your explanation posts. The napkin to the corner of the lip is priceless. I almost got a picture of you doing it, but I pictured you with long-ish blonde hair and wings (that '70s name for bangs that are parted and feathery). Did you say that you were a writer in real life?
beardy : )>
Posted by Lini on April 24, 2002, at 9:56:24
In reply to Re: Greg - Look what's happened! » Lini, posted by Greg on April 23, 2002, at 20:46:02
One year wait? Okay. Agreed!
Posted by Lini on April 24, 2002, at 10:28:20
In reply to Re: how wars are started, posted by Dr. Bob on April 23, 2002, at 20:25:24
> So, Doctor with the Surfboard (Phil's posts are pretty damn funny) what shall be the resolution?
It's too early to say. I'm just trying to ride this wave. :-)
> How many people have to hate the idea before it gets booted and how many people have to love it before it stays permanently?
>
> LiniIn both cases, just one. :-)
Silly Me! I confused this for a democracy! I do that sometimes, it's the politician in me. Do let us know what you decide, and if you have rationale, that's even better (but of course not required, this being your board and all)
I have to say, the whole thing has gotten amusing. This is quite the experiment in online group psychology. Don't know if you have the best subjects though . . . :)
Either way, if you have a sense of humor, I bet we make great research! Are you going to publish a paper about the "out" versus "in" group, or the effects of adding an exclusionary variable in an online environment?
Good stuff! ;)
Posted by Shar on April 24, 2002, at 14:45:28
In reply to Shar, you're great. » Shar, posted by beardedlady on April 24, 2002, at 5:08:35
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 24, 2002, at 18:51:42
In reply to (I am a writer wannabe in real life.) Thanks! (nm) » beardedlady, posted by Shar on April 24, 2002, at 14:45:28
are writer wannabe's... perhaps that's why we're so cranky. :)
'Separate the "struggle" from the "artist"' my favorite woodstock fortune teller/advisor suggests. otherwise that's always how you'll always think of yourself.
i just love her...
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 24, 2002, at 19:15:03
In reply to Re: how wars are started, posted by Lini on April 24, 2002, at 10:28:20
> I have to say, the whole thing has gotten amusing. This is quite the experiment in online group psychology. Don't know if you have the best subjects though . . . :)
I'm biased, of course, but I do think I have the best subjects. :-)
> Either way, if you have a sense of humor, I bet we make great research! Are you going to publish a paper about the "out" versus "in" group, or the effects of adding an exclusionary variable in an online environment?
So many papers, so little time...
Bob
Posted by Zo on April 24, 2002, at 23:12:00
In reply to Re: great research, posted by Dr. Bob on April 24, 2002, at 19:15:03
Posted by Mitchell on April 25, 2002, at 1:46:21
In reply to Re: so much energy, posted by Dr. Bob on April 21, 2002, at 23:16:36
> And in fact it could be seen as going out for coffee on their own. Except that it's not as private. Would it be better if others couldn't listen in?
Absolutely. It might be interesting to compare hypothetical abhorrent social motivations for a sub-group to conduct an exclusive conversation that could be heard but not joined by the rest of the group against hypothetical reasons a sub-group would consider it educational or supportive to publish its exclusive conversation for the rest of the group to see.
Posted by Phil on April 25, 2002, at 7:09:40
In reply to Re: so much energy » Dr. Bob, posted by Mitchell on April 25, 2002, at 1:46:21
Absolutely. It might be interesting to compare hypothetical abhorrent social motivations for a sub-group to conduct an exclusive conversation that could be heard but not joined by the rest of the group against hypothetical reasons a sub-group would consider it educational or supportive to publish its exclusive conversation for the rest of the group to see.
~~~~~~~~~
Uh....exactly, what he said. It's a reunion board. I don't think any of us are geniuses considering that we are educating people by writing the same goddamn things we've been writing since we arrived here.
But, hey, it's something to ponder.
"1972 graduates of a high school in Texas kill
1971 graduates because they had a 30 year class reunion first." This is all too weird. I don't like studies, I try to just get by.
Posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 10:37:00
In reply to Re: so much energy, posted by Phil on April 25, 2002, at 7:09:40
Only in Texas!
Basically these boards are like rooms. Usually we get to run around, in and out or whichever room we want. Now you guys have gone and locked the door to one and we're all standing outside banging our heads up against it. We don't particualry want to go in your room, we just want the door to be unlocked. See what I mean? Just providing a room that we can lock ourselves in doesn't really solve it.
But, Dr. Bob, like a janitor, has got all the keys, so party on. If you guys don't mind all of us on the other side of the door, we'll probably get tired and go to our own room to bitch. :)
such is life!
Posted by Shar on April 25, 2002, at 12:10:25
In reply to Re: so much energy » Phil, posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 10:37:00
>We don't particualry want to go in your room, we just want the door to be unlocked. See what I mean?
L-
I think people would not be any happier if the door was unlocked but still closed.Using your analogy--If the boards are rooms we can run in and out of, the 2000 board is IMO not really one with a closed and locked door. It is one that has an open door and a doorway at which you can stand and hear/read all the conversation and see who is in there. You just can't go inside and converse. Which ought to be ok if you meant it when you said "We don't particualry want to go in your room..."
Shar
Posted by Anyuser on April 25, 2002, at 12:52:19
In reply to Re: so much energy » Phil, posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 10:37:00
> Only in Texas!
>
> Basically these boards are like rooms. Usually we get to run around, in and out or whichever room we want. Now you guys have gone and locked the door to one and we're all standing outside banging our heads up against it. We don't particualry want to go in your room, we just want the door to be unlocked. See what I mean? Just providing a room that we can lock ourselves in doesn't really solve it.
>
> But, Dr. Bob, like a janitor, has got all the keys, so party on. If you guys don't mind all of us on the other side of the door, we'll probably get tired and go to our own room to bitch. :)
>
> such is life!Lini,
I agree with everything you have to say on this topic. When we catch one of the Kool Kids wandering outside their private room, complaining about how we outsiders just don't get it, we should give them a wedgie. :)
Posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 13:14:59
In reply to Re: so much energy » Lini, posted by Shar on April 25, 2002, at 12:10:25
>L-
I think people would not be any happier if the door was unlocked but still closed.Using your analogy--If the boards are rooms we can run in and out of, the 2000 board is IMO not really one with a closed and locked door. It is one that has an open door and a doorway at which you can stand and hear/read all the conversation and see who is in there. You just can't go inside and converse. Which ought to be ok if you meant it when you said "We don't particualry want to go in your room..."
Shar
I must have been unclear, cause you're missing my point . . . standing at the door and looking in, however not being able to converse, is pretty much equivalent to the door being locked, closed, an invisible force field, a junk yard dog or anything else that basically says NO TRESSPASSING. (ie. no posting)The issue is that the boundary exists, not what's on the other side. Get it? I have no interest in a reunion board, but I am interested in the concept of exclusiveness, or separateness or no tresspassing and how it relates to a support group. I think that this is a pretty simple concept to get.
You don't need to feel like you have to justify the reunion boards existence - you didn't create it. If Dr. Bob created a "Lini and Friends" board, you'd bet I'd be on there, enjoying it, and feeling pretty supported, but it wouldn't be a mystery to me why others might be offended...
Posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 13:16:48
In reply to Re: so much energy » Lini, posted by Anyuser on April 25, 2002, at 12:52:19
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 25, 2002, at 13:43:27
In reply to Re: so much energy » Lini, posted by Shar on April 25, 2002, at 12:10:25
i really admire your posts and would love to converse with you further here or There. :)
but there is a difference - when one Can access something and chooses not to, it's their choice. when one Cannot access something, it places them in an inferior position.
why do i seem to be the only "old timer" who sees this?
just confused.
- kk
Posted by DinahM on April 25, 2002, at 14:17:07
In reply to oh, shar, it's so different..., posted by Krazy Kat on April 25, 2002, at 13:43:27
> i really admire your posts and would love to converse with you further here or There. :)
>
> but there is a difference - when one Can access something and chooses not to, it's their choice. when one Cannot access something, it places them in an inferior position.
>
> why do i seem to be the only "old timer" who sees this?
>
> just confused.
>
> - kkKrazy Kat, I just love you. And I don't say that often. :)
Dinah
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 25, 2002, at 14:35:31
In reply to Re: so much energy, posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 13:14:59
> Basically these boards are like rooms. Usually we get to run around, in and out or whichever room we want. Now you guys have gone and locked the door to one and we're all standing outside banging our heads up against it. We don't particualry want to go in your room, we just want the door to be unlocked.
If you don't want to go in, does it matter if the door is locked?
> Just providing a room that we can lock ourselves in doesn't really solve it.
Why not?
> If you guys don't mind all of us on the other side of the door, we'll probably get tired and go to our own room to bitch. :)
I guess that would be one way of supporting each other, but I'd rather have these new boards come together in a more positive way. I guess that's civility again...
> The issue is that the boundary exists, not what's on the other side. Get it? I have no interest in a reunion board, but I am interested in the concept of exclusiveness, or separateness or no tresspassing and how it relates to a support group.
Think about the people inside the boundary, not the people outside. Sometimes it's nice to be with those you've shared experiences with. But including just them means excluding others.
Bob
Posted by DinahM on April 25, 2002, at 15:06:21
In reply to Re: rooms and doors, posted by Dr. Bob on April 25, 2002, at 14:35:31
> > Just providing a room that we can lock ourselves in doesn't really solve it.
>
> Why not?
>
Because, Dr. Bob, if we are opposed to exclusion, providing us with our own exclusive domain will not solve our moral objections. As I said before, I will not post in the 2001 room because the dear friends I met in 2002 are not welcome there, the dear friends I have yet to meet in 2002 and 2003 are not welcome there, and my dear friends who began posting in 2000 or before are not welcome there. That's why. Sigh.> > If you guys don't mind all of us on the other side of the door, we'll probably get tired and go to our own room to bitch. :)
>
> I guess that would be one way of supporting each other, but I'd rather have these new boards come together in a more positive way. I guess that's civility again...
>
I'd like to have the whole site come together in a more positive way. That's civility too.
>
> Think about the people inside the boundary, not the people outside. Sometimes it's nice to be with those you've shared experiences with. But including just them means excluding others.
>
It's all too obvious that you are thinking of the people inside the boundary, not the people outside. Including just them DOES mean excluding others.But I'm going to quit wasting my breath, or fingers. And one day, Dr. Bob, I am going to have my mother come give you that little talk.
Posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 15:10:43
In reply to Re: rooms and doors, posted by Dr. Bob on April 25, 2002, at 14:35:31
>Think about the people inside the boundary, not >the people outside. Sometimes it's nice to be >with those you've shared experiences with. But >including just them means excluding others.
>Bob
Hhhm, I think you're finally getting through to me here. So, *the* most supportive thing for OTs could be a reunion board? I think that that could be valid. The only thing that remains however is how "unsupported" those outside the boundary feel, and if one group's "support" should usurp anothers.I don't envy your position, the scales you have to use, but I guess we're going to have to rely on your judgement. Besides the obvious fact that you can do whatever you want with YOUR board, you are also (i hope!) a little more plugged into "health" in the mental sense.
Best wishes
Posted by DinahM on April 25, 2002, at 15:23:18
In reply to Re: rooms and doors » Dr. Bob, posted by Lini on April 25, 2002, at 15:10:43
Because I sure don't. And I don't like how it makes me feel about Babble. And I don't like how it changes my view of Dr. Bob.
I too appreciate the time he gives to running this site.
But I don't appreciate that he doesn't seem to be listening. He doesn't have to end up agreeing. But it would be nice if he was listening. Perhaps that's just my perception. I suppose if I could hear him repeat back the objections in a way that gave me a sense he understood them....
Oh well.
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