Posted by susan47 on August 12, 2009, at 13:55:45
In reply to Amazing Grace, posted by susan47 on August 9, 2009, at 15:09:08
I would have stayed if I could have, I would have stayed at this most Amazing, most beautiful camping place in the world, right here near home, on a very sheltered bay on the ocean, on a small island, a walk-in site, with only two other people (one of them a painter, working) ... loners all of us ... my friend and our children (well, only my son, but my daughter's going to spend some time with her big brother in the big city) ... and sailboats anchored and people dinghy-ing (okay my word for shuttling) back and forth and evening and the light in the arbutus trees against the green of their leaves and the other forest trees mixed in the background, and the tremendous sheer drop of stone from clifftop to ocean bottom .... and exploring with the dinghy ... and lying on the beach reading ... evenings standing watching the sailboats at anchor, their cabin lights quietly coming on, voices here and there carried over the water, but mostly, most of all, closing my eyes and drinking in the pure silence broken only by the frogs and the occasional plop of an otter or a fish breaking the water's surface, and immersing in the joyous sound of nature unbroken by man.
If only I didn't have to leave to come to work. What a shocking break to have to come back to the city ... to the hospital ... working to make patients happy, comfortable, their families taken care of ... with kindness, with a smile, the most important thing any of us wears is a smile ... except when we absolutely can't, then we have to let go and let the grief take us ... but anyways helping those who help to make this world unlivable ... because of our sheer numbers, our numbers. And our selfishnesses. And knowing that I am part of the problem, and have helped to make it worse, in fact, and knowing that now it's time to speak about what I believe and to live it too, to leave as small an imprint as possible to make up for lost time... and knowing it's impossible to go back in time and do it all differently ... and feeling the great, irresistible urge to somehow leave the world in a better state than I found it, doing what I can, supporting the Council of Canadians, the World Wildlife fund, stuff like that ... it's just so corrupt out there, and everyone is complicitly blind.
poster:susan47
thread:911144
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20090424/msgs/911780.html