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Sometimes I wonder

Posted by susan47 on April 11, 2009, at 14:41:25

In reply to Disappointment and Betrayal, posted by susan47 on April 2, 2009, at 16:55:59

about how normal you seem. I wonder what it's like to live in a constant, day-to-day world and be okay with that, to be able to go from yesterday to today to your possible/probable tomorrows, all pretty much planned and pretty much within sane limits. And I realize that no, you most likely don't know what it's like to be on a psych ward. You definitely don't know what it's like to have a professional explain to you that you have a mental illness, that depression is considered a mental illness, and you are an addict as well, although to many people marihuana poses no problem but to you for some reason it does; you need it .... you don't know what it's like to read a certain book and realize you're looking in a mirror, and the book is about forms of insanity ... borderline insanity, insanity of a borderline type ... you don't know what it's like to be ashamed of seeing who you could be, who you were at times.. you likely have no such qualms.
And so, how could you understand? Although I did nothing more than what I did and all of it is known, I have no secrets ... if that were true or if it were a lie, it would be no more than you have.
And so we are equal on the field of battle, you and I.


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poster:susan47 thread:886819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20080605/msgs/889979.html