Posted by 64bowtie on April 21, 2008, at 1:22:47
The study of conflict begins at home, for me... If stuff doesn't fit, making it fit to my satisfaction may not be the best way...
When time has passed and stuff still doesn't fit, my memory can slip and make the conflict so personal that I can be so self-destructive trying to overcome my (imaginary and distorted) self absorption in the conflict... Witness me in this state and I am prey to my own self-conflict, and in a state of internal conflictedness... The highest and best use of my time is not to continue this nonsense but to take what I have learned, and leave the rest...
So, if I average 20 conflicts per day, albeit 19 of little or no lasting consequence, with all this practice daily, why do I continue to be so bad at conflict??? The short answer is found in the lingering effects and affectations of my internal conflictedness... Mind you that these internal conflicts are earmarked with mild dillusion and distortions to begin with...
My way out of this ceptic system of thinking is to be away and unaffected by the process... But wait!!! If I take a vacation from my worries, nothing is actually learned, and when I return, the troubles return, toooo...
In 1935, a 10 yearold was having some dental work done... No matter how curious he was, he couldn't avoid the terror of the expected experience...
The dentist gave him a strategic shot of novacain and left the room to allow the drug to take effect... During this time lapse, the boy noticed a bird on a bush right outside the office window, peering back at him...
This provided an epiphany moment for the boy... At first he simply wondered what he may look like to the bird... He became absorbed in the vision, such that he felt like he was in fact out on that limb looking back at himself... He remained curious and felt safe that no harm would come to him while he was watching himself this way...
Time passed and the Dr. reappeared to start grinding... To the boys surprise and amasement, if he stayed out on the limb looking back, he felt no discomfort from the process... Let me repeat; he felt no pain nor discomfort from his [physically] disconnected vantage point...
He also remained [mentally] connected to the process and was able to recount the details of the grinding and scraping, etc, performed by the dentist... Most importantly, he felt no pain or suffereing while out on the limb, visually, [mentally]...
What he later learned and wrote about, he now knew as an "out of body" episode experience... This is not some demonic pocession, we can all do it when we get organised... Some are better and quicker than others, if you can daydream then you are already doing the disorganised version of the same thing... This was his greatest gift to me... His friendship for 29 years was my other best reward... May his soul rest...
As I get better and better, I can now go-out and back-in effortlessly, and nearly instantly... I gather the information I am seeking and whoooosh, I'm nearly instantly back to continue to deal with the reality I left, but really I am still in...
"Where's the beef?" was the tag line in a fast food ad from the late 70's... I apply the same alligorical question to my presentation in this way: "So, to what benefit do I go out of body?" Simply put, objectivity!!!
When I emerse myself in the conflict at hand, my emotions (feelings) can cloud the process, obscuring good results and healthy outcomes... From this objective point of view, my rightness or wrongness no longer determines my next move... Also, I am assembling a library of correct and undistorted outcomes to measure these results by for even more information in my mental library...
My motivation is to perform socially fit as often as possible... My library keeps updating itself to the point I no longer question my actions as being fit or not...
So, no more internal conflictedness??? Seems that way today, at least...
Rod
PS: Since none of my progress required the aid of chemicals or therapy, discipline and diligence get my highest honors as acquired traits that I find irreplaceable...
poster:64bowtie
thread:824518
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20071223/msgs/824518.html