Posted by susan47 on April 25, 2007, at 2:23:32
I think it'sreallyshittytoletsomeoneelsefeelbad when all it takes is one little gesture to start a real conversation happening to make things in life better. I'm so really glad, very happy in fact, not to be That Person.
I had a lot of illusions .. but knowing I was wrong about this one does not feel good now, nor will it ever, because it reinforces stuff about human beings which isn't positive. I know there are a lot of really good people in this world. I know that there are people who don't let others suffer because of them, and I really wish I were one of those people too. When someone pours their heart out over and over again, knowing they're being Watched, or even worse, Ignored .. well, that isn't an easy thing.
It is Not an easy thing to do, not at all. Don't make any mistakes, here, in judgment .. not again. Not as in the past. As I did, as I hope I did, as I continue to hope probably until the day the silence breaks or the day I die. One of those days will definitely come, and I will always hope it is the latter, although quite honestly it would be lovely to live forever .. just not here, not unless a great many more people suddenly become Enlightened rather than not. It just really hurts here, hurts in my body, in my soul ... if I could do what I wished, I would do it all differently all over again. All over again, alloveragain, all over again.
All.
Differently.
Loving myself.
Knowing Me.
knowing you.
poster:susan47
thread:753214
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060920/msgs/753214.html