Posted by Lost_in_time on June 3, 2006, at 20:10:04
I realized that i love to much. I dont understand the humans wakeing mind and probably never will. Why do we hide behind the masks of society. I wish i could go back to a time where love was actually that, love. We weren't afraid to show that side of ourselfs. In my last blog, titled WHEN YOU NEED ME, maybe thats is what i hope to hear someday. I am cursed by the word love for whom i love can't return it. My heart breaks everytime I think about it. Why do we have to have the emotion that brings us so much pain. It would be different if I was cold hearted but i am not. I have an endless supply to give and the only ones to accept it is family. Is it so wrong to want to be loved by an outsider? (Outsider meaning not blood related.) I have been through so much in my life time that i should be at least 50 by now. Yes that much. I have made it through those and i know i will make it through this. But a broken heart is far worse than most things. I am strong but still weak. I can not help the fact that i want someone there to make the bad days better. I dont need it but i want it. My heart aches so bad that i wish i could rip it right out of my chest. Of course i wont but to take away the pain i feel would be great. People always say some day you will find the right person. I wonder if i ever will, maybe i wont allow myself to feel that way again. I have always been optamistic but i have learned my lesson. Hopeing gets you nowhere at least not for me. Maybe things will turn out better for all of you, but for me it is lost. I hate to be like that but lifes pushes you to be what you don't want to be. That is where i am right now in my life LOST. Maybe one day i will find my way again, but how i feel right now i doubt it. Good luck to the rest of you, i pray it turns out better for you.
poster:Lost_in_time
thread:652516
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060523/msgs/652516.html