Posted by corafree on April 25, 2006, at 20:35:30
For the last thirty years of my life, I've gone into restroom cubicles, pulled out a toilet seat cover, put it on the toilet seat, and stuck my butt on it 'real fast', so that it would not fall into the toilet. I figured 'everyone' must be getting their butts on them fast. I figured toilet seat covers weren't designed correctly. I figured it was, "Move your as*, or loose your cover!"
Well, in the recent past, something wonderful happened. I pulled out a cover, placed it on the toilet, and turned around and saw something different. I'd had about enough of this whole cubicle 'move your as* fast' thing. After a few years (Thirty, actually.), if something's bothering me, I do something about it! So I decided to more closely inspect the situation.
To my startling surprise, the cover wasn't moving or falling in? "What's this?", I thought?! Something looked different. It was the flap! I'd had my flaps as*-backwards all this time! Yep, it had been all about the placement of the flap. All those years I'd been putting those dam* things on as*-backwards! I could have spent my entire life never knowing the proper application of toilet seat covers! I'd stepped back and could finally see the forest for the trees! (Well, the bowl for the cover in this case.) I'd learned that when it comes to toilet seat covers, it's all about flap placement. Flap in front .. NOT IN BACK!
So, now when I go into a cublicle and pull down my seat cover, I feel quite proud of myself as I place it on the toilet with the flap falling down from the front. Things are less rushed and it's a more enjoyable experience.(?)
I'd had a problem .. had enough of it (thirty years) .. and taken action. I guess I'd under-estimated the toilet seat covers inventors! I guess I'd under-estimated humanity! (Is that tall guy that wears red, white and blue here somewhere?)
Anyway, I'll not keep flapping on about this.
Now, I can't be the only one that doesn't/didn't know about the proper positioning of toilet seat covers .. can I? Uh, I don't think so. Fess (Is fess even a word?) up!
Ya' know, have to admit, I was 'a little embarrassed' when I realized it was just about the flap placement. I mean, "Why didn't I ever think about that anyway?" It wasn't some sort of mathematical equation or a 'read the paragraph, forget it, and can't answer the question' thing. It was just plain old 'street toilet seat cover talk'. (Can anyone say that five times really fast?)
Now, after all the trials and tributtlations in those many, many cubicles, I can finally say, "I'm buttwise!" And, so can you!
Yep .. No more standing there with my drawers around my knees, helplessly watching covers twirl down into the cold, mirky waters of the deep bowl. (I feel a little sad. Maybe I'll do it a few times just for old times sake!)
I just saved your *ss*s from contamination and your minds from TSCS, 'toilet seat cover syndrome'. (Can you say .. ? Oh, Never mind.)cf
poster:corafree
thread:637046
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060331/msgs/637046.html