Posted by Susan47 on March 11, 2006, at 17:44:05
for not knowing, not caring, not understanding or helping.
Damn you for not loving me the way I love you
Damn you for not bringing yourself forth
the way I've brought myself to you
Damn you for having someone to help heal your troubles and cares,
when I have no one, nothing, not even myself.
Damn you for knowing all these things are true for me,
and humiliating to bear, horrible in their truth,
and not being who I needed you to be.
God, you're beautiful .. do you know how unbelievably gorgeous you are, always would have been, had I but never known the truth
of my own fallibility .. my own weaknesses, my own tears and truths, shames and weak-minded, weak-willed ways ...
the fear by which I was ruled, the fear which controls these words, even as I would spit out the truth in flames of fire ...
oral fire ... it is fire which lights my soul .. and I see it lights yours as well, and this is the fire which will die in each of us, even as this moment ticks by, death is occurring.
In each one, dreams not realized, whatever they be, is fear ruling .. it's the evil in us .. fear.
Be who you are. That is the ultimate calling. I believe. Yes, be who you needed to be when you took your first belief in this life, before your first breath it was that knowledge, the belief that brought you into being was lost to sight and now ...
poster:Susan47
thread:618996
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060125/msgs/618996.html