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Re: Ramblings of my Soul *triggers* » Maynerd

Posted by alexandra_k on December 5, 2005, at 15:51:38

In reply to Re: Ramblings of my Soul *triggers*, posted by Maynerd on December 5, 2005, at 13:39:25

> I so hope it gets better, all this stress and low self worth thoughts are so overbearing right now.

Yeah. Mine can get like that at times... And in those times it can be really very hard for me to think that life has been / will be anything but that.

> I have overcome so much, learned so much, and made so much peace with who I am and what I have;

:-)

> yet one little thing yanks all that progress right out from under me. Yes, I made a silly mistake, but is a joint worth all this depression and suicidal feelings that it caused?

Ah. I don't think its taken the progress away. Sometimes... Well, sometimes people say three steps foward... Two steps back. But sometimes I think that those 'backward steps' are really things that we can use to help propell us fowards even more.

Can you think of it as a temporary setback?

I seem to be okay for a while...
Then my mood changes...
And it is like all the good times and acomplishments and progress doesn't seem to count for sh*t.
But it does pass...
Though it can be hard to see that at the time.

Maybe...
Be gentle with yourself?
Beating yourself up just makes it worse (in my experience)
Oh yeah, and babble about it if that would help.
Sometimes just hearing another person say 'I don't think you need to beat yourself up for that' can help one feel like the burden is lifting.

I don't know...
Probably just talking about me...

Is it about smoking a joint?
DId that get all those bad feelinging / ruminations going?

I smoke a bit sometimes.
To help me sleep
And escape
A little escape from reality
Sometimes it is good for that
But sometimes it gets my head circling round fairly unhelpful circies
depressed thoughts
hopeless thoughts
paranoid thoughts

Best I can say...
Is that in a couple days...
I tend to feel a bit better.


 

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