Posted by Atticus on November 5, 2005, at 21:52:09
In reply to Right Way to Do things, I agree Atticus, posted by Susan47 on November 5, 2005, at 18:22:41
Actually, luv, I suspect he understands that he is not "clever." I do not pretend to be a Ginsberg or a Dylan -- but I do not pretend to be a mediocrity, either. I may not be able to function in this sociopathic society that the human race has fabricated across the face of the world. But I do ask probing and disturbing questions about it. Any mind would find these queries disturbing -- a bipolar mind such as my own, already a fragile thing -- sidles up to such questions. I find them too terrible to face full on. What he is, in the end, is a bureaucrat -- and a bureaucracy is not an "entity" that holds up well under close scrutinization. I find that an irrational and absurdist world is best probed, ironically, by a worldview that accepts irrationality and absurdity as givens. That is why I evolved into the Cheshire Cat on another site. But a belief system that accepts a fundamentally disordered cosmos is not a popular or comforting one. My T actually gave me a Phil Ochs disc to play over the weekend. With all due respect to those who enjoy this musician's work, I found it utterly devoid of the magic and mayhem and world-weary wit that make Dylan's compositions so enthralling. It is, to my way of thinking, leaden and didactic without any redeeming aesthetic -- the singing of an accountant. Direct. Marked by flat and utterly predictable lyrics and lifeless attempts at melodic hooks. There is a reason that Phil Ochs has been largely forgotten while Dylan remains profoundly evocative and more relevant than ever, I came to realize as I listened. A human maelstrom met a human filing cabinet, and the result was predictably unsatisfying for both. My T's Ph.D. and my own provided no common ground. His dismissive attitude toward the poems that are so very much part and parcel of me doomed this fledgling relationship. If someone on PB doesn't wish to read my poems, he or she is more than welcome to skip past them. If I am paying someone hundreds of dollars for 45 minutes, he bloody well better make a sodding effort. He chose not to, so he has been dismissed. In this area of my life -- my creative side -- there is absolutely no room for compromise. Thanks so much for you words of support. I told him that, in the end, only others who share my struggle with mental illness have ever been able to grasp what I am attempting to communicate. It is a grim fraternity/sorority, but one with its own type of exclusivity. I have tolerated being condescended to in far too many areas of my life due to to my psychological impairments for far too long. I've had my fill of Philistines. Ta. Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:572655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/575808.html