Posted by caillou on October 6, 2005, at 15:22:10
This is another poem I wrote about my feelings for my T. This one is gentler so it is easier to reread and doesn't stir up so many emotions.
caillou
__________________________________I don't know how to get over you,
These aren’t feelings I'm accustomed to,
My emotions seemed to scare you away,
I really wish you would have stayed.Maybe it had nothing to do with love,
I just felt understood and cared for,
I needed you to keep me safe,
By keeping the boundaries in place.I wanted you to take away my pain,
To help me grow up, a little more each day,
To experience what life is all about,
To leave behind anger and self-doubt.Was that too much to ask of you?
I thought it was something you could do,
You seemed so confident and secure,
I didn't realize what might occur.I think we could have worked it out,
Without using blame, taunts, and petty insults,
I really wish we would have tried,
And used emotional honesty as our guide.Not every thing we wish for, comes true,
But I still half expect it to,
I am used to living in a dream,
Because I can't deal with what's real.Maybe someday soon I will get over you,
That's the best thing that I can do,
To move forward and greet life anew,
And have new things to look forward to.Sometimes I still miss your gentle voice,
And your reading glasses and your twinkling smile,
For now, I don't seem to have much choice,
My thoughts are still stuck on you.It isn't right, it isn’t fair,
To feel for you if you don't care,
I really want to get over you,
Just like you have seemed to do.Why is it taking me so long?
Am I doing something wrong?
Can you help me to feel better?
Should I write you another letter?That doesn’t make any sense,
I can't contact you ever again,
I still feel like something's amiss,
And that's what I must deal with.To be fair, I owe you some thanks,
I started thinking a bit differently,
And experiencing some epiphanies,
While I was sharing my journal with you.I wish it had ended on a pleasant note,
So I could look back on it with a smile,
I'd take back every unpleasant word I wrote,
And let the good feelings linger awhile.
poster:caillou
thread:563709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050910/msgs/563709.html