Posted by Susan47 on September 5, 2005, at 17:07:17
In reply to Re: For You, posted by Susan47 on August 22, 2005, at 23:27:03
It's a surprise. I didn't know I would still love you so much. I wasn't supposed to love you, at all, in the first place. None of your "patients" should ever love you, ever have the strong feelings about you, ever tell you all these things, All of them, almost all.. no, so much hasn't and never will be spoken, because life just isn't that good.. strip away the mystery? Never. Because I believe you need to be Adult to know that a certain amount of illusion is always necessary, in love and sex.. a certain amount of mystery required, promised, then faithfuly delivered ... that's part of what makes you sexy, in spite of yourself.
And because I've kept the mystery alive, I've done so much of that, creating the mystique of You, loving my creation, that sometimes you were a little lost in it. As you are now, because I write imagining that he will see this, read it, and smile; I like to think he had the time to give me that, and respect enough for me, that he wouldn't think any of it superfluous. The fact is, that cannot be. Because even I find so much of it superfluous, when I look back. So I don't. I've learned not to look back. Have No Regrets.
Each moment is new, mine to create as I wish. Did you know that? I just learned it. Life's a bitch sometimes. Because if I ever read this, I'll just shake my head at myself.. I'll seem so much wiser than I was when I wrote this. So, did I always feel this way? Will I feel this intensely about the subject matter tomorrow? Well, not every moment, certainly; the intensity comes and goes. What's left is the realization of something new, an integration into my personality of something that has value to me.
Okay, Susie, enough.
poster:Susan47
thread:541134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050807/msgs/550970.html