Posted by AdaGrace on June 5, 2005, at 23:16:59
And it seems you never will.
It's scary to think about that.
I had so much inside me for you to know.
So many things that we never shared.
I can cook. Did you know that? I could have cooked you chicken and dumplings like we talked about once. You said it was your favorite food, and your mother cooked it for you. I could have done that for you.
I forget to turn off the tv. I like to fall asleep with it on. The one thing, the one thing I wanted to do with you was sit or lay on the couch with you and watch a movie. I wanted to do that with you.
Oh God. Why did you do this to me? Why?
Do you know I still watch the weather in your area sometimes? So I can know what it's like where you are.
I'm so jealous of her. She sees you when you first awake. She falls asleep in your bed, and I'm sure in your arms. She gets to touch your face when you smile. She gets to hold your hand when you walk down the street with her. She gets to feel your arms around her. I get nothing. Nothing at all.
I missed out on all that. I haven't had it since. All the things I wished for, that I thought I had found in you...all those things are gone.
I wanted someone to open the door for me. Someone to pull out my chair. I wanted someone to dance with me. I like to dance. Slow. To be held. I like that and I wish for that so much. Someone to know what I was thinking. Someone who knew just when I needed a hug. I wanted someone to care. I wanted someone to care about me. To love me. I wanted you to love me. And you didn't. You didn't.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:508252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/508252.html