Posted by cockeyed on June 4, 2005, at 1:25:52
In reply to depressed last night, posted by PM80 on June 3, 2005, at 9:10:03
> I fell again last night,
> From the growth I believed to be real.
> I felt so many slippery paradigms,
> So many shifting perspectives,
> That I could not tell my floor from my ceiling
> Or good things from bad.
> All sense of absoluteness
> was sense of a dark finality
> Too horrible to contemplate.
> I did not want to move;
> I did not want to be still.
> I could not tell if the razor edge
> Was cutting serenely into my soul
> Or simply passing through empty air.
> I again fell last night,
> And no one sees the scars I hide.
>hey PM80, I've got no scars to hide. I've got it good. I can go out and put flowers in the ground and each one is a universe of delight. But not to me. I've forgotten how to see. I can pick up my guitar and I can sing and it sounds so good to me. But I have to fight some stupid fight...what's it worth to me? And I can sit here and cross a void and in a sense can pray...but it seems I have no sense to realize that I can say...can say that I hear you and know what it is like to stumble when the trap door falls open and all good's out of sight. Surely, I say, there is no god because this is just not right, and just as surely there comes the answer: that I've lost the light. But why must I be blind? And why alone? have I been cursed, when so many live in pain?. I'm shrunk into a self crushed hole and all that is good is a sham, an illusion of a malign universe. and is there a god who knows he wears no clothes and can't help but make every moment worse? And why the hell am I prating in rhyme when I can say it straight. I hurt, am lost, and still I blab to drag myself from my own dirt. and apologize for pathetic crimes of nothing but insignificance. Maybe I think that in cyber ink I'll clear a mind befogged and get the hell out of this loop my sullen ego confuses with communing with other minds and people whose lives are real, while, mine seems like a grim, muddy plod and all I can do is steal. cockeyed
poster:cockeyed
thread:507275
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/507527.html