Posted by papusa on May 13, 2005, at 15:27:56
In reply to Opinions on the start of my book?, posted by Shame on May 10, 2005, at 10:43:18
You're a good writer but I find this beginning fragmented and therefore hard to follow. Here are some tips:
Begin with your hero and his sensory experiences (which you did--good!) but beware a beginning (or any part of a novel for that matter) that contains lots of musing. The hero should be engaged in action.
The beginning action should be encompassed by a single scene. The hero should do something--it doesn't have to be hugely dramatic but it should be important. You've quickly broken away from your initial scene and gone to the next one in this draft.
The hero should interact with other characters. Dialogue is the hallmark of such scenes. Again, beware of excessive internal musing, especially at the beginning.
Cut out every adverb but one per page. Watch your adjectives too. I know you'll hate this advice but excessive modifiers are the hallmark of beginning writers.
You're doing great! Keep writing.
poster:papusa
thread:495981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/497405.html