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The Physical Weidness

Posted by Damos on May 4, 2005, at 18:44:02

Where do I begin?
I guess it started last Wednesday week with a sense of trepidation and foreboding
Can't descibe it any better than a 'knowingness' that something big and I felt bad was about to happen
On the train going home it really began with a feeling of difficulty breathing
Like my chest was already expanded beyond its limit
And I couldn't gat any air in
But it felt solid like rock, not full of breath
I could actually see my heart beating through my shirt
And a sense that my body was about to crack and split wide open
Down a fault line running from the top of my head to the tip of my tail bone
I could feel the two peices sliding and grinding against each other
And an enormous pressure
This lasted for about three hours

Later on in the evening everything changed
It was as though mighty armies were marshalling
Just beyond the horizon
And that battle was soon to be joined
There were three forces
Distinctly three which I cannot explain
My whole being was rumbling and rolling
With the movement of these mighty forces
Like great sections of me were moving
But it was a standoff
A tense standoff that lasted some hours
I kind of lost track

Later still
I found myself holding on to my bedframe
As my body flipped and spun around the room
I remember the feeling as my back slapped against the ceiling
The sense of spinning end over end across the room
And the sensation of tearing in my shoulders as I held on
The sense of being it
And of watching it happening to me
And fear I remember fear
And exhaustion
In the end exhaustion

 

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poster:Damos thread:493824
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/493824.html