Posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 14:52:24
No, maybe it's me,
I, the fortunate one.Yes, because I get to pretend
that I'm completely accepted
and my feelings are valid,
and I get to make-believe that
I'm beautiful and sexy and
loving and giving and wanted
Especially that part.
That's the lovely part.
It's the part I'm not ever
Ever going to give up.It's why I'm never coming in
again, to see you.
Because I never ever again
am willing to chance The Look.
The Consternation.
The Professional Veneer.It's your life.
You have to have it.
Meanwhile, I get to dream
that we had coffee, once.
And we had a lovely chat.
About all sorts of True Things.
That we were Human to each other.
Kind. Loving, and accepting.
Without Needing.That I could go home,
and because of the way you looked at me
I could use that look to pretend.
Oh Lovely Me.
Hmm.
How could I ever give that up?
I really enjoy feeling good, you see.
And you make me feel good.But the power you have to do the reverse,
well, that's just as strong, isn't it.
That power is dark and overwhelming.
It's a power I succumbed to once,
many many years ago.
That power gave me visions.
Visions, I tell you.. deep and loud
strong, dark and empty, very very emptyIndeed.
poster:Susan47
thread:484739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050321/msgs/484739.html