Posted by Damos on February 28, 2005, at 16:11:36
In reply to Re: Depression is a boulder too... » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on February 28, 2005, at 4:01:41
I know it's very forward of me to ask, but is there particular name or way you prefer to be addressed?
Never had a therapist, just way to private I guess. Do you think they've helped?
How is it that you manage to capture exactly what I am thinking? I have to admit that you express it infinitely more eloquently than I ever could.
One of the hardest day for me was when I realised there was no me. There was just this collection of characters I'd created and cobbled together to enable me to get through each day with minimal externally obvious trauma. I have these flashes of memories of happiness but I don't know if they are real or imagined. I mean I don't know whether I was really happy or just pretending to be so someone else wouldn't be upset. Sadly I know now with absolute certainty that most of the 'happiness' I've had in relationships has been imagined and in complete denial of the truth of what was really happening. Sad, but true.
Can you believe I gave my first spontaneous hug last Christmas.
My depression is like a black inky ocean of despair where there is no up or down, jus this cold inky blackness.
My parents dog actually saved me just after loosing Katie. Things were rapidly approaching the end but she was barking and scratching at the bedroom door and I realised that I hadn't fed her. So I did, and her total joy and happiness just broke the spell and I held her in my arms and cried for a few hours instead. I was so lucky.
I'm really glad that you're around too
I'm also really, really glad that I have the chance to talk to you too. Know that there is nothing you can't ask me. There might be some things though that are just too hard to answer.Thanks alexandra_k, but I think great is probably giving me a little to much credit. I'm doing better and that's what matters.
Re the rocks. Just check that you're not standing a valley and they're rolling them at you from both sides, cause it's a real bugger when you jump out of the path of one straight into the path of the other ;-)
I'm glad you're here too too (affirmation rebound)
Ah, Puppy Magee is one of Sarah's many dogsonalities. She has about a hundred names and knows them all. She also sleeps on daddy's bed - lucky girl.
(((((alexandra_k))))) plus a big dogs kiss.
poster:Damos
thread:463494
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/464509.html