Posted by smokeymadison on February 10, 2005, at 9:43:23
In reply to Re: This Morning » smokeymadison, posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2005, at 21:18:02
it is hard for me to write about, really. i have had crushes on girls before, but never said anything or done anything about it. but this girl pursued me. i have a boyfriend and wasn't looking for a relationship with a woman. but like i said, she was somebody who was all fire and light, and i fell really hard for her. so we went out to eat. (my boyfriend knew what was going on and although he didn't like it, he wasn't going to leave me over it.)
basically, to be brief, she said some stuff that was b*llsh*t at dinner, and i called her on it. she cracked right there and then. it was like watching a beautiful painting just melt and the colors run down in thick drips. it was obvious that the relationship wasn't going to work out at all, so i got up to leave. she was shocked that i wanted to end dinner. so i asked if she wanted to go sit in the park. in the park she just poured out how exhausted she was, how she felt drained from trying to constantly meet and help new people. that was how she saw me--somebody she should save. she needed some time off, i told her. i told her to go home and just be alone for a while. and we parted ways.
my boyfriend was very glad the relationship didn't work out, and life was more simple for me. i really had no idea what exactly i was doing getting involved with a woman, i just knew that she shined and i wanted a chance to explore that side of me before Matt and i got married years down the road. it really would not have been fair for her, i know that now, becuase i would not have given up Matt to really be with her exclusively. a tough story, but there it is.
SM
poster:smokeymadison
thread:455424
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/455835.html