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LONELY DREAMER

Posted by WorryGirl on February 2, 2005, at 15:31:42

I want to love you
I want to do things for you
To share with you
To cry with you
To talk about silly things with you
To talk about kids, science or Desperate Housewives with you

Just once…
I want to be asked to join in a luncheon
I want to go shopping together
I want to knit together in front of my cozy fireplace
Mostly, I want to feel that confidence that comes from knowing that I am accepted and belong

I want to belong
I try to focus on you, not on myself
Why won’t you let me?
Why does my mere presence anywhere guarantee the emergence of an exclusive clique that I can’t be a part of?

I look normal
I try to act normal, but what is that anyway?
You, in your exclusive groups…
I hear you talk about weird things, but that’s OK
I hear you talk about imperfections, and that works, too
Even when you are stupid, it’s somehow cool

Yet I sound like a freak
Just like when they all teased me in 7th grade
People smile until I talk
Then they turn away, give funny stares, or laugh amongst themselves
Guess that never goes away
That L that was planted in my psyche can’t be erased
Rather like that color that you can’t completely untattoo

But I continue searching for a person
Who likes me for who I am
Who doesn’t care that I try too hard
Who will be my friend through thick and thin
Who doesn’t care if it’s considered very uncool to actually associate with me, and not only out of pity

I don’t care who you are
Brassy or quiet
Plain or glamorous
Homebody or jetsetter
You are beautiful to me
And I know you are out there
And that when you come even more will probably follow…


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Psycho-Babble Writing | Framed

poster:WorryGirl thread:451867
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/451867.html