Posted by Atticus on September 30, 2004, at 23:21:49
Pinches of Tender Yeti Tongue
An ancient yellow one-eyed idol
Caught a midnight flight from Katmandu,
Had heard of golden-arched marked temples
Gilded shrines of holy plastic heaven
Where Happy Meal-healed pilgrims
Sought out sacramental wafers,
Fried slender slices of sacred cow,
Took a McJob as a late-shift fry cook,
Wore a perky little paper hat,
Wove ancient spells in the boiling oil
When no one else was looking
To create onion rings to die for,
Transcendental tastes of pure nirvana.Placed a curse on his surly manager
In the name of most revered Ronald McDonald
And his boss dropped dead upon the spot,
So now no one fu**s with the idol at all,
And customers flock like fevered pigeons
To taste the magically treated fries
That he sprinkles with the blood of virgins
And pinches of tender Yeti tongue.
Management’s had its eye on this fast-food star
Who converses with 12,000-year-old gods,
And adds powdered bones
Plucked from slow-roasted chimera
To spice up his McRibs secret sauce.His unseen kingdom, hidden in plain sight,
Now includes 1,500 far-flung franchises,
Well-disguised doors to a dark dimension,
Where he speaks in long-ago forbidden phrases
While writing taboo symbols in blood-red ketchup
On pickle-dressed ground-beef patty parchment
Waiting for the day when his millionth
Supplicant approaches the counter altar to offer alms
And bites into a burger that unlocks the cages
Of countless towering tentacled
Super-sized demonic behemoths,
Leaving phosphorescent snail trails in their wake
As they flood the planet from 1,500 portals,
Ancient evil from a time before there was time,
In response to the idol’s preplanned signal,
“Say, pal, do you want fries with that?”
-- Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:397679
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040925/msgs/397679.html