Posted by Atticus on September 4, 2004, at 19:12:07
In reply to poem...Pillars, posted by malthus on September 3, 2004, at 22:50:29
That first verse especially is a stunner. It really evokes a sense of night as a sonic presence, filled with "cicadas insomniac" (great turn of phrase) and night's dark murmurs. It's exactly what summer sounds like when I visit my parents' house in New Jersey and leave the window in the guest room wide open, something I could never do in my apartment in NYC, as my window faces out onto a fire escape at the rear of the building and I'd just be laying out the welcome mat for unwanted visitors. There's an increasing sense of romanticism apparent in your work, of love's sweet possibilities. It's when your head goes to this place that your work seems to be at its most engaging to me. That's not to say that I think poetry should be all Pollyanaism and sunshine, so to speak; it needs to go to the dark, unpleasant places when the mind needs that as well. But this is a wonderful poem in terms of metaphors and tone and phrasing. There's a lassitude, a gentle midnight-breeze rhythm that I find so interesting. The tone has the air, but not the construction, of haiku; a transitory moment of great symbolism captured in your poet's grasp like a firefly, and held up for others to see. :) Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:386213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040828/msgs/386465.html