Posted by Lyrical13 on February 4, 2004, at 20:16:10
The sister I know
Is thoughtful and kind
Caring, concerned, content
The sister I know
Has love to share
Help to give
Cheer to spreadBut the darkness creeps in
So slowly, so subtle
No one sees it take
The sister I know"I am the monster," she writes
Thinking I don't see or understand
"I am the monster," she thinks
The ups and downs, tears and anger
And fear
Does she fear herself
Like I do?
Jekyll and Hyde taking over
Anger to pain to joy to hurt
To madness?The sister I know
Cries and cuts and yells and wishes
It all would stop.
Some how, some way
Like I do.But she's still there
The sister I know
Still searching for love
Brilliance lost in boredom
Yearning for something
ExtraordinaryThe sister I know
Is still soulful and sincere
Creative, courageous and candidI hope and I pray
That soon some day
She'll reach out for
The help I extend
The lifeline, the way
To creep from darkness to day
To feel more than "okay"....To climb and to soar
To be My Sister once more
No darkness or pain
No hell that I bore
Monster stalking and waiting
Deep in the shadows
To take herI'm afraid and I cry
If I lost her I'd die
I don't understand why
They won't help her.
I think deep inside
Under armor she hides
Waiting and hoping
But fearful
Knowing more than we know
But scared to let go
Of the secrets she guards
Unrelenting...With secrets she's safe
No one knows
They can't say
That she's wrong or
She's crazy or lying
No one hurts
Except her
But she's tough
And the cure
Might be worse than
The demons that
Haunt her.Just a cut here or there
Crying, despair
But the family's still there
As she knows it.
Better this way
Than not knowing each day
How the shake-up will change
Life familiarBut the sister I know
Is brave, strong and bold
Not even the monster
Can break her.
She'll survive
She'll break free
Of her demons
Like me
I just hope that it's
Sooner than later....2-2-04
I wrote this poem about my sis...she is only 15 and is probably some sort of BP. I'm BP2 and have been struggling with this crap for at least 13 years. Looking back it was probably there on a more subtle level before that. She started on meds when she was barely 14. And seems more severe much younger than I. She quit counseling and hasn't been to a doc since November re: her meds and is not even close to the right level or perhaps even the right meds. I've given info to my parents...I hope they get her help soon.
poster:Lyrical13
thread:309505
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040102/msgs/309505.html