Posted by donut on February 12, 2007, at 0:49:07
I've been on leave from my job for about a year and a half. My disability benefits were exhausted some time ago and I'm struggling just to pay the bills. Every time I think about going back to work I worry about things such as going through another major setback with anxiety and depression, getting fired for not being up-to-speed in my line of work (it has been almost 18 months after all), worrying about the gossip mill, worrying about failing, worrying about what my supervisor and colleagues must think about me. I'm sure that some people "know" that the problems are emotional in nature as during the period leading up to my breakdown I was often on the verge of tears, visibly stressed, being unable to do what was expected of me and so forth.
I've been on the depression merry-go-round for almost a dozen years now. I feel disheartened about my prospects for the future and what this all means to my financial security. I have always felt guilty about being unable to work during this time and I have not been told by my psychiatrist to return to work, as he would prefer not to give any "advice" as to whether or not it would be suitable for me to return to my current job or find another one.
I apologize for the length of this post, I just felt like airing my fears and maybe getting some feedback.
poster:donut
thread:732024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/732024.html